Four year old

[oracle]

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Edited November 3, 2006 by oracle

[stressedmumto2]

I think what you say about him going out copuld be due to sensory. I have a friend who's sone suffers from the cold terribly he is HFA. Would it be possible for him to be assessed by an occupational therapist to see what sensory probelms he has.

 

In the meantime I would suggets using social stories for going to nursery, very simple and with clear photos of nursery where his peg is etc. Timetable for when he is in nursery so he know's what will be happening next. Maybe also a very brief time table to use at home where he can pull down the pictures for what he has to do. ie wake up, eat breakfast, have wash, get clothes on etc and so on, then perhaps one for after nursery, this could end up being a fun activity for him to do as soon as he's finished one thing he gets to pull the picture down.

 

If he has an attachment to mum then perhaps a photo of her on a keyring or in a frame at nursery. For the trip to nursery I really don't know, perhaps something to take his mind of it a little, maybe a childrens tape player with some tapes if he likes nursery rhmes or perhaps some fiddly toys that he can play with to keep him occupied, squishy toys or textile book.

 

For going to shops and when out in the buggy I wonder if a blanket tightly wrapped around would be an idea, my son when used to love wrapping himself up in a tight ball with a blanket all around him and rolling around the floor. Maybe a visual board of shop then reward, lolly at shop or something, reward will need to be given straight away and it will be better if he chooses what he wants. If they don't want to buy rewards then perhaps reward of play when he get's home with favourite item.

 

Would defo get him off too see an occuaptional therapist though as they will have more advice.

 

Sorry if i've rambled a bit hopefully you may find something from that which may help your friend.

 

<'>

[oracle]

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Edited November 3, 2006 by oracle

[denise2]

we were given some suggestions with this when our son was at school and we were having problems getting him out. Very basically it was using simplified direct instructions and information. An example might be.

 

"Your feet to my feet. Your feet follow my feet to the car" etc. Hence leaving out the stress from confusion and misunderstanding which can lead to stress.

 

We were also told to make it clear that we would be coming home again.e.g. " We are going to get in the car, drive to the post office, go into the post office and pay at the counter and then we will get back in the car and come home". We were told that often parents say " We won't be long" or " We're just going to the shops" but a lot of people do not make it clear they are coming back and this can be quite stressful for some children with rigid thinking to work this out themselves.

 

I hope it helps, it's really hard when they refuse to go out, we still have this at times and it's really frustrating.

 

Denise 2

[Paula]

<'> <'>

 

This brings back memories of when my son was like this at around the same age.

 

he would scream the place down if he had to leave the house.If i got him outside hed cling to the downfall pipe ,refuse to move ect....it became a nightmare as i had to take my older Nt daughter to school and couldnt get her there.

 

I got an organization called crossroads in.They used to sit with my son on a morning so i could take my daughter to school.It was a free service.

 

Then id to tackle getting him out of the house in his and my own time.

 

Its sounds daft but my son had a real problem with car noises and surface changes.Ie he hated going from tarmac to grass,paveing slabs to tarmac gravel to smooth ,he also hated stepping of the pavemnent and stuff it caused all end of problems.He also wouldnt hold my hand and would scream blue murder if i touched him and took hold of it.I solved this by and againe it sound daft ,putting his favourite teddied between us hed hold teddies hand and i held teddies other hand.It took a year to progress to him holding only my little finger and then another age till he could hold my hand but then only for seconds.

 

Please be reasured from a mum of a 12 year old Aspie,he did eventually get used to the noise,earplugs help,surface change and holding hands.Now hell leave the house acept some change if explained and travell on buses another of our nightmares.Its a long process but one which can be won with pateince and understanding.

 

<'> Take care.

[LizK]

Wonder if he'll go to nursery albeit reluctantly because it is a familiar pattern whereas going out other places is more random. Does she use a visual timetable at home to prepare him for his day and possible changes in hsi routine. We have a very detailed one for mornings to get DS dressed and out to nursery, now school and this really helps focus him. Maybe using a timer or sandglass to count down when it is getting closer to leaving home. Would suggest nursery puts similar measures in place theretoo if they aren't doing so already. Maybe if he had a 'confort box' of favourite toys or relaxing activities might help.

 

It may well be sensory. Is he sensitive to noise of crowds? My son will pull his hood up or insist on wearing a hat when in busy places. Maybe taking a cheap MP3 player out might help if he's getting overloaded. Again using a visual timetable or simple repeated explanations when he's out so he knows exactly what is happening may help

 

HTH

 

Lx

[jb1964]

Hi Oracle,

 

Can't really offer any advice - my AS daughter is 12 and has always hated going out of the house - she just about makes it to school - part-time (occasionally). She's probably only been out of the house apart from going to school about half a dozen times in the past 18months.....each time is a nightmare for loads of reasons - from getting ready to actually going in the car and then getting there - we don't even bother anymore - although if I can manage to get her to go she takes her ipod or ds to keep her occupied.

 

Good luck,

Jb

[oracle]

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Edited November 3, 2006 by oracle

[helenmorbey]

My 4 year old has (probable ) ASD and dosent like going out that much, she hates the wind, car noises on a busy road and always wants picking up. I put a photo key ring on her trousers when she started nursery, she is obsessed with me and rarely lets dad do things for her aswell. One good tip our OT gave us (we havent seen her in 6 months now) was on a trip to the shops put on a rucksack type bag with some weight in it, she says it literally keeps their feet on the ground! Now great theory but when i have to pick her up it cripples me lol , Helen xx

[curra]

At that age my son would go out with me although he always hated being with other people. But as he grew older he became more and more reluctant to leave the house and now it is a struggle even to go to the Dr. He is 12 and he has his own reason: he just likes being at home, he hates noisy places with lots of people, and hates streets because he says they are dirty and depressing. He accepts going out if strictly necessary only listening to his music with earphones and taking a book if he has to sit somewhere and wait.

<'> <'>

Curra

[darky]

hey there, my daughter is the same we have had loads of problems going out because of buses, traffic, bugs etc. i can sympathise as its been a nightmare. my daughter is seeing an ot at the mo and is working on sensory integration therapy. i have been using an mp3 player with a lot of success. she got to choose the music she wanted and it has given her quite a bit of confidence.

[oracle]

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Edited November 3, 2006 by oracle

[darky]

oh i expect so!! you can get these and others from limewire. i got pokemon theme tune,dr who theme tune, spongebob square pants theme, and the fairley odd parents theme from there. also they sell cheap mp3 players in argos for about ?15, just brill for the kiddies, i had to buy a cheap set of head phones for my girl because she couldnt tollerate the ear pieces. its been a godsend.