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hev

im going under

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steve been suspended again today,i feel im going under,hes screaming at me down the stairs,i try to make the best of things,i try to be positive,swimming and meeting friends for coffee,i feel like walking away and never coming back,i do notknow how to feel ok again,whats the good of antidepressents,social services are rubbish,cahms are pathetic,i hate these so called proffesionals,they havent got a clue what its like,my head is throbbing,my eyes are red raw,my nerves are gone,have you been like this and come out the other side?if so,how did you get ok again,please tell me,i need some hope

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hev :( Oh god I really don't know what to tell you. It is awful, if ss camhs can't help then where the hell do you go? I wish I could help or advise I really do. Is there a support group near you? Or a helpline you could ring? I'm clutching at straws here. You poor girl >:D<<'>

 

Hang in there.

 

Lauren

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Hev, >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

sending you lots of these >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

I'm really sorry I haven't got any advice, but it may well be worth taking

lindy-lou up on her offer, it may do you good to have a chat with someone

who understands or just a listening ear.

 

Brook >:D<<'>

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>:D<<'> Hev,

 

I had the worst time with David but it did get better! There is hope. If anyone had told me that David would be the sociable, lovable lad that he is today I would have screamed liar at them. But he is now sociable and loveable most of the time and he now has KC to contend with, just like you, as well as his AS.

 

We had four dark years when he was just dreadful sounding just like Steve. I also had a toddler Matthew who also turned out to be autistic but that did not matter, what mattered to me was that David was just horrible 24/7 to my baby :( It is difficult I know.

 

I found that no matter what any of the services did it did not get better and that's because they often fail to truly understand because they do not live with it. In fact in our case they just made everything worse.

 

Do talk to Lindylou

 

Oracle

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:( ...oh hev........I,ve come to this thread a bit later on.......how are you feeling.......could someone come round and give you some support from the verbal Steves giving you?...........can you give him anything to settle or subdue him,ie a dvd or computer game.I guess things have kicked off at school and your dealing with the fall out from steve.I know things have been bad lately with the language etc.......your gonna have to get out of the house this weekend maybe with the little-un and have a breather, I know this sounds ridiculous but your the priority at the moment >:D<<'> take care hun Suzex >:D<<'> big hugs

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Oh Hev, my heart goes out to you. >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Please talk to someone. There have been times when I went to bed on a night I'd wish I wouldn't wake up next day. It seemed relentless. Everyone else seemed to be having a far better life than us :tearful: Everything was stressful, shopping, holidays, days outs, mealtimes, car journeys, we felt trapped and isolated. I wish I could do or say something which would make it alright for you, but all I can add is that we did come out the other side and the bad days are still there but becoming less so. I read a fantastic book recently called Changed by a Child - Companion Notes for parents of a child with a disability by Barbara Gill. It helped me so much. Full of wise words and stories/thoughts/feelings from other families of children with all sort of disabilities. This is quote that might help you

 

"It is normal to be afraid and to feel alone. Just for today remember that you are not alone: others have walked the road you are on now. Even though they don't know you, their love is with you"

 

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Take care,

 

Debs

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Hev

 

ive been there too.

 

Ive spent all weekend in tears .at times head hurting just so full of despaire that i dont want to go on.

 

Youre right,the so called professionals are cr*p.There cr*p because they dont have to live with stuff day in and day out and so dont take our concerns seriously.

 

Im on anti depressants also.just started taking them againe this week.Due to fealing exactly like you feel.Ive also had a couple of breakdowns in the past also.So beleive me i do know exactly how you feel i also suffer from panick attacks.

 

You know what helps me.Talking.To anyone.I used to phone the samaritans if id no one else.Just to off load.

 

take lindy lou up on her offer.Or if you have msm pm me with youre address and ill add you to mine.

 

Hold on tho the thought that steve is away this weekend i think you said.recharge youre bateries do something for you and hang in there it does pass.

 

>:D<<'> Paula

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Hey Hev,

 

I hope that things have calmed down a bit for you all now.

 

I can tell you that things will get better, i know that they have for me. It can be a bit like swings and roundabouts at times though. ( I am still learning and Daniel is now 15 to take the bad times with the good though)

 

I can remember so clearly the days whe he was younger just wishing i could walk away and have an so called easy life. I also remember how i felt when Daniel was excluded from school for the 2nd time. I was upset and angry at him and also at the school, he was upset and confused as he could not understand what had happened.

 

I have done the anti depressents and also the calms in fact there is not much that you can get from the Dr that i have not tried at one time or an other.

 

But i can tell you things can change and things can get better, i have had a good few years with Daniel now, yes we have our bad days but now the good ones out number them instead of the other way around.

 

I know its hard when all you want to do is run away, but don't give up.

 

One of the hardest things for me to learn was that Daniel always gave me the hard time, and it was explained to me that he does that because he knows that no matter what he does i will always be there. He knows you love him and he knows just how much you care, its hard i know and i am so sorry.

 

But just try and keep you chin up and find someone ot talk to if you can.

 

Hope this helps Karen x

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Hev, >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Yes, I've been there to, I even phoned the Samaritans once. :(

 

I don't have much to add to the good advice already given. This roller coaster ride has it's ups as well as the downs, hang on in there. I would take lindy-loo up on her offer, it's always good to talk to someone who understands how you are feeling.

 

Nellie >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Oh Hev >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

I would recommend 'changed by a child' by Barbara Gill too - It's got very short and simple sections (mostly one page) so its perfect for putting in the loo (thats the only time I ever get 5 seconds and even then my little one is posting PECS cards under the door!) - I often just open it randomly like a 'thought for the day' and some of the words in there literally warm you up from the inside out.

 

In the meantime, try and get some rest wherever you can and do whatever it takes to get through the day.

 

One day very soon you will wake up in the morning and the 'head fog' will be gone, I promise x x

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Hi Hev,

I haven't been around for ages but just popped in today i'm really sorry to hear you are having a rough time.Sending some >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

How long does he usually take to calm down?

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>:D<<'> >:D<Cant really add much to what everyone else has said, am thinking of you and wish i was nearby to help out and let you pop in for a chat and a cuppa...

 

Hang in there, you're a great mom

Justamom

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Hi Hev,

 

Hope you are feeling a bit better honey. I can't think of any answers, apart from talking to someone about it. I'd like to send you lots of these >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

SS are totally cr*p. I've been holding out for them to help me for 2 years and all they did was give me a list of play schemes. Someone told me to try Barnados, apparently they can give support and respite. Maybe worth looking into?

 

Take care, Loulou xx

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hev,

 

Just catching up here - sorry you're having a tough time at the moment. I hope things improve soon. >:D<<'>

 

K xx

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Guest hallyscomet

Hi Hev, >:D<<'>

 

Sometimes it feels like a bottomless pit >:D<<'> >:D<<'> without these lows I guess we wouldn't appreciate the good days. Life is like a rose garden, some days bloom so beautiful and happy, and others are like absolute pricks in comparison. :ph34r: I find the F... word feel really great in times like this, or getting a tennis racket and smashing it into a pillow, Or writing a journal until I cant write another thing helps too.

 

Life really sucks sometimes, especially times like this. Don't be afraid of your anger, its healthy to get it out even if you write in a journal 1000 times, F F F F F get my drift.

 

Sending you lots of these >:D<<'> >:D<<'> you wouldn't be normal if you weren't really pissed sometimes.

 

God gave us all these emotions to feel, and boy don't we feel them all sometimes all at once. :wub:

 

:groupwave: just remember we all love ya.

 

H. >:D<<'>

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Hi Hev, have come to this really late, been having 'time out'. Just want to say hope your OK, I know everyone is worried bout you, let us know.

Luv Witsend.

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Guest hallyscomet

Hi Hev,

 

Back again, its Monday morning and have had time to think about your posts, you posted earlier a week or two ago a similar thing happened to Steve being suspended and you felt he was doing it as the suspension felt like a good thing to him as he got to stay home, and Annie suggested that they should make the suspension at school as they wont like that, and I agreed.

 

Just thinking about this from another angle, is you child taking any meds at the mment, I know with B. we had to at times get them reviewed every three months even phone calls to the Paediatrician who was extremely supportive, like if I had a problem with B like Steve is having at the moment I could ring the Paediatrician and talk to him, and he would see B. immediately to see if it was a medication modification or he would write a letter or phone the school, to ensure that B got total support. I also had to ring the teachers myself and arrange to have meetings on a regular basis, even suggest a communication diary, between the teacher and myself so we could identify anything that may have triggered these situations.

 

Is it possible Steve is being bullied.

 

Also, B went through a complete personality change and constant total meltdowns unexplained when he was 12, both my daughter and I were really confused, the slightest thing tipped him over the edge, and I noticed him becoming more non verbal, something in his brain seemed to change and he just was right in my face saying blah blah bah, and none of what he said made sense.... I kept an eye out on his diet for triggers, my son can't eat any chocolate (Easter has just passed) diet triggers can last for four days or even not occur until 4 days after consumption.

 

B. was introduced to Risperdal during this time - Hev, I thought if the doctor didnt give him something, my daughter and I both, would need to be admitted to an institution, and it takes a lot to push me over.

 

After a couple of weeks of B taking the Risperdal he thanked me for taking him to the doctor, and also thanked me for giving him the Risperdal. The Paediatrician explained that kids with Autism or Aspergers use up all their mental energy trying to engage in a conversation, and when they get to a certain age the combination of Ritalin and Catapres (Clonodine) just stop working when a child reaches puberty for some this is as early as 10.

 

Paediatrician explained that the Risperdal connects something in their brain and they have been trialling this medication over in the US and had excellent results with it. My sons doctor is one of the highest regarded doctors in this area. He said they use up so much energy trying to communicate and just cant get the words out and become like a short fuse and aggressive as its easier to hit someone rather than try and say you have offended me. The problem getting anywords out leads to violence. Risperdal helped reconnect that wire in my sons brain. It gave him the mental energy to have a conversation. Prior to this B and I communicated through like a sixth sense just knowing what he wanted but meltdowns if I got it wrong.

 

My son thanked me as he for the first time was able to have a conversation, could easily say to me he wanted XYZ or how his day was. He was able to talk to his friends, he was also able to explained how frustrating his life was before he started taking Risperdal. My son and I for the first time actually had a meaningful conversation, and I remember having a good cry in private later as I realised that poor boy just couldnt do it without Risperdal, and thank god for Doctor D. our Paediatrician for recognising this.

 

So Hev, from your posts to me it sounds like you are going through this. Please call a Paediatrician that specialises in Autism/Aspergers >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Love Hailey xx >:D<<'>

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Sorry Hev, really late to this one been taking time out, enforced by my son who is hogging the computer. Hope things are a little better .No advice just to say K was really hard to live with from 12yrs to 14/15 he is calmed down a lot now,but we still get our bad days.I too think the professionals do not help as they haven't got a clue what it's like to live with nothing but bad days. Take the advice given and talk to someone feel free to pm me whenever you wish.Thinking of you >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Edited by asereht

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