~Jonathan~ Report post Posted May 13, 2006 (edited) Hi all, I found out this week that I do not have AS nor am I on the ASD. I guess that means I won't be able to post on these boards any longer I love it here. Apparently, I'm living with a condition called Avoidant Personality Disorder. It does explain a helluva lot to be honest. I've really enjoyed my time here and will continue to support and learn about those living with ASD's, and also those who know someone/cares for someone on the spectrum. All the very best, Jonathan <'> Edited May 13, 2006 by ~Jonathan~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Jonathon, ASD or no ASD you are more than welcome here. You have made some lovely posts/contributions and I see no reason for that to stop. You stick with us and we'll stick with you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Jonathan I really hope you continue to post. Your understansing of ASD and how it affects people is brilliant. I've always enjoyed reading your posts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Jonathan Please continue to post - we'd miss you. Out of interest, how did you find out about your diagnosis and how do you feel about it? Barefoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted May 13, 2006 if u like it why go?? tc C x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Jonathan you like us - we like you - so don't fix it if it ain't broke - then we will all be happy Keep on posting Oracle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted May 13, 2006 If you are interested and you are happy with us then you are welcome in my book - not everyone here is ASC How does APD differ from AS? Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayjay Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Stay if you like it here we would love you too jayne xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted May 13, 2006 ...........Avoidant personality disorder???..........I,ve never heard of that...............but I bet it comes under the very wide ASD umbrella...........which means if you didn,t post here again it would be a crime ................so you,d better carry on Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TuX Report post Posted May 13, 2006 (edited) Jonathan, there is not a requirement on this forum that people have to be Autistic or parents/family of Autistics,not being Autistic on an Autism forum does not make the persons' opinion less worthy. Forums benefit from comments from all people. ...........Avoidant personality disorder???..........I,ve never heard of that...............but I bet it comes under the very wide ASD umbrella...........which means if you didn,t post here again it would be a crime shame.gif ................so you,d better carry on thumbup.gif APD is classed as a "personality disorder" and is not on the spectrum,but it does have some similarities with ASD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder The DSM-IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines avoidant personality disorder as a "pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following: 1. avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection 2. is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked 3. shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed 4. is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations 5. is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy 6. views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others 7. is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing Edited May 13, 2006 by TuX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Jonathon noooooooooo Please don't go I always enjoy your posts, and it doesn't matter what they call it, ASD, ESP, POD, XXX, blah blah blah Please please please stay Lauren XXXXX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tez Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Hi Jonathan, If you're happy posting on the boards is there any reason for you to leave? Please stay and continue to post, we'll miss you if you go. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Jonathan <'> You are exactly the same person as you were before the change in dx... Please don't feel you can't be part of our forum anymore. Your posts have always been thoughtful and supportive...and at the end of the day, you are who you feel yourself to be <'> Bidx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted May 13, 2006 Please stay,we would all miss you <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
westie Report post Posted May 13, 2006 (edited) Jonhathan I think your postings are interesting and valid therefore you should continue to post. If your replies were so wrong someone else would have said so - and no one else has, <'> so your input is really good - please keep contributing! Edited May 13, 2006 by westie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
~Jonathan~ Report post Posted May 14, 2006 (edited) Out of interest, how did you find out about your diagnosis and how do you feel about it? I found out through both my gp, another doctor at the practice and a counsellor who all said, that although I do share certain key characteristics with those on the ASD, that AvPD is more than likely the correct diagnosis. Well, once I read about it I knew it was what I was living with and the identification was all there and it was a blessed relief to finally be able to put a name to what it is I've been feeling. I have such a low opinion of myself that if I'm writing something here or at another forum and someone disagrees, even mildly, I take that as proof that I'm not worth knowing and flee the scene, sometimes to just go to other parts of the forum, sometimes to avoid the person who replied or even to leave the forum altogether. Same in life, if someone looks at me 'wrong' or says something in disagreement or I get a rejection of some kind, it can send me home where I have to close the curtains and go to bed and serves as yet more proof that I'm not worth knowing. The reason I wondered if I had an ASD was because I find social situations bewildering and because of my fear of saying the wrong thing or being rejected, I can appear cold and aloof. My social skills aren't great and I can appear very clumsy. I don't have a social life and I find making friends very difficult, eye contact is emotionally very draining as is intimacy but now I can see that's because I'm afraid to make friends because of being rejected but I'm also afraid of rejecting others because of I don't want them to feel as I do so it's a strange situation really. I'm staying here by the way This is one of the few places where I've felt accepted and as if what I say (whether people agree or not) matters, so thank you. I'm not sure if you know what you've done for me, you've made a huge difference in my life <'> All the best, Jonathan. PS thanks to all of you who've replied and PM'd - I really appreciate that <'> Edited May 14, 2006 by ~Jonathan~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Hi Jonathon, I'm really pleased that you're going to stay with us . Annie <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Jonathan, I'm glad you've decided to keep posting here, you would have been missed. <'> K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephanie Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Stay, we need you for the off topic music threads! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lindy-lou Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Glad to hear you are staying jonathan!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Hi Jonathan, I am so pleased you posted your message instead of just disappearing! You are always welcome here. Elefan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Jonathan I'm pleased that you got some answers and am delighted that you'll be staying. Barefoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Welcome back (not that you left!). Like everyone else, I'm glad your staying. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Jonathan, Good to hear that you will be sticking around What a relief it must be to finally have an answer/diagnosis. Take care, Debs x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted May 14, 2006 Surely if they agree that you do share a lot of chatateristics of ASD they could of still diagnosed you as ASD as well as APD. I read the list of symptoms of APD and frankley the comment about not wanting to make friends with people who will say nasty things is something I would want you to encourage to carry on doing, to only make friends who would want to treat you kindly and true and honest, not someone who would put you down, in my eyes is very positive and bad friends are not good for you. Frankley I would persue further assessments contact NAS for further advice on looking for a specialist in ASD in adults. Your difficulties with social issues really does probably connect to a lot of adolecent boys with ASD and AS. Is there any possibility that you could have both. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted May 14, 2006 I'm staying here by the way This is one of the few places where I've felt accepted and as if what I say (whether people agree or not) matters, so thank you. I'm not sure if you know what you've done for me, you've made a huge difference in my life <'> I'm really glad youre going to stay with us Jonathan. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted May 15, 2006 glad youre going to stay jonathon <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noogsy Report post Posted May 15, 2006 hi its good you are staying .why leave people who have become your friends in the virtual world.esspecially when you do share some of the traits and understand the problems.no doubt you can add with support and information...you are a very important resourse.... and people like you...love noogsy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted May 15, 2006 I'm glad you have decided to stay Jonathan. We all like reading your posts and you like it here, so it does seem daft to leave! I'm also pleased you have a dx at last and can now use that to learn and understand more about it all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted May 15, 2006 glad u stayin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted May 16, 2006 whoooo!! glad youre staying ! <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted May 16, 2006 Good to know you're still with us! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
florrie Report post Posted May 17, 2006 HI Jonathan, I also have avoidant personality disorder (self dx) and still have AS,(formerly dx) and I believe in many cases it come under ASD umbrella, unless they did tests to see how youare processing information that might be giveing you communication probs there is no way of knowing, my communication problem and delay in auditory processing makes me avoid social situations and communicating with people that is the same as asd that is what it is Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
redberry Report post Posted May 17, 2006 Jonathon...can't believe that you nearly got away! Ive come very late to this post, but I wanted to add my delight that you are staying put redberry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
~Jonathan~ Report post Posted May 17, 2006 Thank you all, you're absolutely brilliant and fantastic <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gladysmay Report post Posted May 19, 2006 HI Jonathan, I also have avoidant personality disorder (self dx) and still have AS,(formerly dx) and I believe in many cases it come under ASD umbrella, unless they did tests to see how youare processing information that might be giveing you communication probs there is no way of knowing, my communication problem and delay in auditory processing makes me avoid social situations and communicating with people that is the same as asd that is what it is yes, I am only just learning about asd's as my son was so late diagnosed, I recently saw an an item that does state that there is a subgroup of autistic people who do have a theory of mind. the nas website has a useful list of the autistic umbrella but I have come to realise that research continues at a fast pace and the theories have to be open to reinterpretation with new evidence. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted May 19, 2006 yeah jonathon- we all love you here ,im glad your staying <'> everyone has different problems-its good to share them <'> <'> xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted May 20, 2006 Pleased to hear that you're staying Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted May 20, 2006 Pleased you're staying . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted May 20, 2006 (edited) I'm late on this too, but just want you to know i think you are so worth knowing! You're a lovely guy and i'm glad you're happy to stick around. Happy posting! Edited May 20, 2006 by kirstie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites