Matted hair- any suggestions?

[BuntyB]

My daughter hates her hair being messed with. She particularly hates having it washed and hates me brushing it. She always says she will do it herself. Although she has brushed it a bit, she hasn't mastered brushing the back. It has now got so matted, I am not sure what to do with it. Some time ago I persuaded her to let me cut it shorter so it would be easier to manage. I cut most of the knots out, but this time she won't let me touch it.

 

Following on from the problems of personal hygiene with others in the family, at least she isn't smelly! However, she looks like a neglected child with tangled hair and a grubby face, but I can't get near. Any suggestions?

[justamom]

Hi, my dd had very curly hair when she was younger, when i cut it a while ago it went straight so i use a detangler, that you spray into the hair and it helps you get a brush thru without having to wash it... They are a life saver...

[Bullet]

Regarding the washing you can get this dry shampoo called Batiste that you spray on your hair. It's not perfect but it does help between washes.

Maybe you could also get some spray on conditioner, apply liberally to your dd's hair, then tell her you will work from the bottom of the hair and moving up, so her hair isn't tugged as much. Tell her she can guide your hands if she wants so she feels more in control.

[justamom]

Meant to say you can get ones from your local store - not sure if i can say the names of the products - if you need names pm me..

[Flora]

I had exactly the same problem with my daughter when she was younger. She looked like a cave woman. I got her in the bath and lathered her hair with conditioner and gently combed out all the tangles. I just cut off the really stubborn ones. Then I took her to the hairdressers and she had her hair cut short. She's 13 now and we no longer have that problem.

 

Lauren

[helenmorbey]

Yes weve had the same problem, when my little one gets out of bed she looks like a wild woman! Ive found johnsons detangler (in a yellow spray bottle) the best, oh and i plonk her on a chair right infront of cbeebies! Helen x

[Kathryn]

Shona,

 

I sympathise - my daughter had very thick hair and we had this problem for years: trying to get her hair presentable for school was the single most stressful event of the day. Even when she was happy to do it herself she never brushed the bits she couldn't see and so the back was one often a big lump of matted hair beyond the power of any comb. I had to resort to drastic measures and cut it all out sometimes. Having it short would have been the obvious solution, but she wouldn't go against the prevailing fashion of long hair, for fear of being teased at school.

 

I sometimes used a conditioner that you can apply to dry hair and leave in, this helped to minimise the tangles. Recently she has decided to have it really short, and it's so mouch easier - if she doesn't brush it at all it doesn't matter!

 

If your daughter will let you put her hair in a ponytail or plait before bed, this might help keep it manageable when she wakes up.

 

Good luck, I hope you find something that works.

 

K x

[Tilly]

I have this problem too I've been known to brush her hair in her sleep - Very carefully.

 

I use the detangler. leave in conditioner, plait for bed etc. but no matter what she has a big tat (thats what we call them up here) in a certain part of her hair.

 

At one point when she was on school holidays and didn't want her hair brushed she looked like a little cave girl.

 

For the people who live in our neck of the woods and know of the fella with the otters tail for hair (honestly you have to see it to believe it) I pointed out his hair to dd and I told her she would end up with hair like him - so far so good.

 

Happy brushing

 

Tilly

[Gardenia]

Ooohh Tilly I know the bloke

 

Thankfully my ds has very short hair - at the moment. When it gets too big out come dh hair clippers!!!

 

Gardenia

[Emum]

E also hates having her hair brushed so we only do it once a day in the evening after her bath when she is most relaxed. If we did it in the morning she would be upset for hours! This keeps it in OK though not super neat condition. We also use the Johnson detangling shampoo and conditioner when we wash (if she allows us!) and we brush from bottom to top with plenty of pauses if she gets upset and reassuring words. If she won't tolerate proper washing we use Johnson baby bath in her bath and just rub in the foam, no need to rinse. This keeps her hair tolerably clean and makes it easier to get tangles out.

 

We found that different brushes make a difference to how well she tolerates it. She likes either a vented brush, with wide teeth, or a cushioned paddle type brush. She hates all combs, and other types of brushes. I think it was Donna Williams in one of her books recommended vibrating hairbrushes for autistic children who hate having their hair brushed. We got one of the internet and used it in the early days and she quite liked it but she doesn't need that one any more. Be wary you will be directed to some weird sites if you google for it!

 

It is easier to get the tangles out when the hair is wet and conditioned than when it is dry, and when all else fails you could try cutting out, but not if your child, like E is frightened of scissors and having their hair cut.

 

Good luck!

[JsMum]

Hi how old is your daughter?

 

when I was a young girl I hated my hair been brushed too and sadly against my will My lovely white hair was all cut off because the matt was so bad but I do understand how your daughter feels, a lot of why i didnt want my hair brushed was the kind of brush used, it hurt my scalp and also my mum was very ruff even when she said it wont hurt, it did.

 

I know your probably been very careful but matted hair does hurt, even just a few lugs,

it kind of puts you off trusting someone having a go.

 

I am an adult now and thankfully know how to look after my hair and what products to use to get the best for my hair, I use mainly body shop and they do a fantastic leave in hair conditioner.

I have to recommend this and I take it everywhere with me and really good after swimming trips.

 

I also have a natural brissle brush made with a wooden paddle handle with hand grips so you dont slip.

the brush was exspensive but it helps the hair stay in good condition so less effort when brushing.

The brush is Kent. and they have many styles.

 

I have lovley long blonde hair now and apriciate it more now, cutting it short made no difference to the lugs either so its just as much effert as it is when you have long hair, at least with long hair you can put it in plates and ponytails and let your friends brush it for you whilst relaxing watching the TV.

 

J doesnt like his hair been brushed or washed by me but he does have to be supervised and assisted on how to wash and brush his hair and he uses all my products and brushes as they suit his lovely golden hair.

 

Another idea is depending on her age what about those doll heads where you can brush the hair and put on make up they are good for getting them interested in looking after there hair, even though J is a boy he had one and loved it. obvously he wont ever let anyone know that, so sush!

 

Hopefully she will get there like I did and using the right hair products really makes a difference.

 

What about a shopping spre together to get her some hair stuff just for her, and make it a bit of a special papering night for her.

 

 

I love pamper nights,

 

Good Luck and hope my suggestions and experience help.

 

 

JsMum

Edited May 14, 2006 by JsMum

[Bagpuss]

Shona,

 

Our daughter had similar difficulties. But she decided to solve the problem herself and cut her hair off Beautiful long blond ringlets..... BUT having done the deed, she looks fab, had her first ever trip to hairdresser and had a ball , and she really loves it. So much easier

 

I've also heard the Johnsons Detangler is good

 

Debs x

[lindy-lou]

I have terrible problems with India and her hair,she hates it being brushed because she says it SOUNDS horrible She has a morbid fear of scissors and her she now resembles worzel gummidge as she just wont let us even trim her hair,this week she has managed to get chewing gum stuck in it twice,once in the fringe and once in the back,i wouldnt mind as much but its gum shes scraped off of pavements so we now have a tangley,sticky hairball and not a hope in hells chance of getting near it,did manage to get the back bit of chewing gum cut out but not the fringe.