Gardenia Report post Posted May 16, 2006 A friend of mine has bought one of the t-shirts with "Im not naughty I have Autism" printed on the front for her 5 year old boy. She asked me if I wanted to buy one for ds. I refused and she seemed quite put out that I didn't want one I explained that I want people to see ds not a label. Mind I do explain to people when the need occurs about ds dx. I don't want to go down the 'this is ds he has autism' road. My friend said I was ashamed of his dx and should not shy away from it so then more people are aware and become more tolerant. This got me thinking. My son as yet has not asked why he is different - I don't know if it will ever happen - so why do I want other people to know before him, and maybe tell him. Do you think it depends on the childs age/ability/behaviour? We are quite a private family and in ds case I don't see the need to advertise his dx. I would like to know do any others kids where these t-shirts. Gardenia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I don't think I would buy one. My son wore an autism awareness bracelet during the charity bracelet craze so if anyone asked him he could say I wear it because I have it. Most of the time he's quite willing to talk about his autism to other kids. His attitude is that if they get to know him for who he is before they know about his AS then that's fine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tilly Report post Posted May 16, 2006 No I wouldn't put my daughter in one. In the past I have given one of those Toby Henderson Trust cards to a couple of people when she has kicked off big style. Tilly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tensing Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I think it would depend a loy on the situation, I might when Henry goes to events that I can not be with him for, just so that he was not thought of as naughty. He is aware of his diagnosis, and is happy with it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I'd rather Ben walked around naked than wore something like this! I've absolutely NOTHING against promoting awareness, or explaining my son's disability to him or anyone else we might meet when it's 'in context', but whatever message she INTENDS to convey the fact is only TWO words will register for most people: 'Autistic And 'Naughty'... Their responses are likely to be sickly-sweet, bleeding heart sympathy or negative value judgements, depending on their pre-existing prejudices, but so far as raising AWARENESS that kind of stuff is a step backwards... Bin the 'Im not naughty' t-shirt, and if you want to send a positive message print off Amy's 'Aspies for freedom' logo... One other thought, there are MANY MANY known factors that CAN contribute to behavioural problems in NT kids... Would you ask a victim of abuse to wear a T.Shirt saying 'I'm not naughty - My parents beat the cr*p out of me', or a child who'd lost both parents in a car accident to wear a T.shirt saying 'I'm not naughty - I'm an orphan!'? We shouldn't have to justify our kids behaviour to the world, and a t. Shirt with that kind of message to MY MIND seems more like a pre-emptive apology and excuse for the parents discomfort than it does a means of empowering the child... L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I'm with Baddad on this one and as Matthew is still far happier without his clothes I think that this would get his vote too Seriously I carry I card but I would never go for the walking advertisment style of announcement. Oracle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I'm a bit dodgy about these anyway - it sort of emphasises how vulnerable my son is & that's not something I would want advertised. Having said that, I have bought a tee shirt for me from another site - it's got an orange partially peeled; underneath the orange skin is an apple. The slogan is "Autism, it's not what you think". I quite like this shirt, I'm happy for me to wear it & it has caused two people to come up to me - one to ask genuine questions about autism & one to say "where did you get that shirt, I'd like one, my niece is autistic". Result I reckon. TBH I have a bit of a problem with the autism / naughty slogan anyway - if other people choose to think he's being naughty when he's in meltdown, I don't really care. I certainly don't feel obliged to explain it to them what's happening, just to provide comfort to them about their view of the world. Then again, I have been feeling quite bolshy lately Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted May 16, 2006 Hi Gardenia, I agree with everything already written. My daughter's 12 and only recently diagnosed and she doesn't want anyone to know. We've therefore not told anyone except the school and my parents. And as much as it upsets me when people judge my daughter on her behaviour I don't want to feel I've got to justify her behaviour to anyone - which really is what that is doing. Take care, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
redberry Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I just had to delete my reply as I realised that baddad has said it all for me! Thanks badders! redberry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I wouldnt put my son in one of these t shirts either I do have some little cards though printed of by the National Autistic society that can be handed out if it all kicks of big style and youve no time to explaine but people are stareing and commenting.These cards simpley explaine youre childs autistic or aspergers theres two sorts available and that they may behave in such and such a way and it list behavioures,they ask that the people show understanding and give the NAS telephone number for anyone wanting further information. My son is fully aware of his condition and i do talk openly about it but a tshirt is a no no. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted May 16, 2006 (edited) I've seen similar T-Shirts (and caps) I think. "Im not naughty, I'm autistic, whats your excuse?".......I'm unsure about them. Edited May 16, 2006 by Bagpuss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted May 16, 2006 <'> ni i wouldnt buy one either, mind my son is 12 and he wouldnt wear one!. I agree with you, i was terrified when my son was finally labelled as having AS, i thought it would mean he would be treated differently, of course that didnt happen. but i understand yr feelings Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I definately would not dress my kids in anything like that. I know the intentions are good but I think it would be more humiliating than having them run around naked. Not that I think having autism is anything to be ashamed of, but it does have a feel of exploitation about it having it printed on their clothes! I do always have a card in my purse that I can flash at hairdressers etc, but I've only ever done that once or twice. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I definately wouldn't let H wear one, I've also seen T-shirts with " i'm not just naughty I'm autistic too" written on them Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
palgem Report post Posted May 16, 2006 hi we have seen these advertised and would not put stuart in one but he has got a mobile phone neck strap with an autism awareness card attached to it , he wares if we go anywhere so if he does do a runner and gets found people r aware that he has difficulties and r hopefully more understanding to him . this can be warn very descretely without advertiseing the facts . bye for now paul Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LizK Report post Posted May 16, 2006 No. That's labelling in such a negative way. I want people to see him as Adam first and foremost not a random autistic child. I don't see why I should have to advertise his situation because others are less tolerant of him. It's the 'I'm not naughty bit' I particularly don't like as it is assuming he is going to play up and must have behavioural problems simply because he's autistic. When we are out he is often very well behaved just acts a bit strangely at times! Lx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
palgem Report post Posted May 16, 2006 hi but strange to who? the people with no tolarence for difference and who have a judgemental approach to everything they presume that they see without an understanding of what is before them , not strange but rather unique , not different but idividual , one of a kind . not normal but what is and who is bye for now paul Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted May 16, 2006 Baddad has a wonderful way with words and has put across everything i agree with.... Anyway Keegan would not want to wear it anyway it would not be cool enough (not got a designer label on it)... Justamom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted May 16, 2006 Jill, Mrs P would like to know where you got YOUR T-shirt from. We both feel EXACTLY the same way BD does about the child one described for the very reasons he has given (remove the bug bd or I'll playfeedback down it ). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlp Report post Posted May 16, 2006 Wouldn't be my cup of tea either - I'd feel as though I was justifying my son for me (and I must admit sometimes I do get embarrassed but I don't feel the need to tell people that he has AS very often at all, I generally let them make their own judgements whatever they may be ) Actually George has severe eczema and we were sent a teeshirt from the Nation Eczema Society saying 'smile, it's only eczema' and I've never put him in that either. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gladysmay Report post Posted May 16, 2006 not keen either, I can only think of this in layers of need to know, if they are support people etc then yes and thats one layer, another layer is a more social layer and that would be a no. my son was attacked quite recently when out late in town with a friend, he did not run but thats another story, anyway we ended up in emergency and that was a definately tell the staff since they were obs and asking questions etc. Generally, he tells the people he wants to tell. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mummy21 Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I agree with the above...... I definately wouldn't put J in a t-shirt like that..... Joanne xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted May 16, 2006 We filled a rainy half term with t-shirts for my NT children, which were 'I'm not autistic...' The best one was 'I'm not autistic and I like trains'. We've not worn them outside of the house. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NaneysMum Report post Posted May 16, 2006 I cant imagine any one using this genuinely for all the reasons already posted. (And dare I suggest that sometimes kids with ASDs are naughty). More likely by the kind of person Katie Grant thinks we all are. My appologise to anyone who really finds it helpful - what ever gets you through the day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted May 16, 2006 We filled a rainy half term with t-shirts for my NT children, which were 'I'm not autistic...' The best one was 'I'm not autistic and I like trains'. We've not worn them outside of the house. I like that one too... perhaps it should be worn outside of the house. BD Oh, and another one, maybe: 'I'm not autistic, but i can still be a pain in the a**e!!' (I'm being ironic, so it's okay ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted May 17, 2006 Oh, and another one, maybe: 'I'm not autistic, but i can still be a pain in the a**e!!' (I'm being ironic, so it's okay ) I wonder if they can be made in adult journalist size...you know with a slightly larger head hole than usual?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted May 17, 2006 I wonder if they can be made in adult journalist size...you know with a slightly larger head hole than usual?? Good one Phas Think we should send her one? Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted May 17, 2006 I wonder if they can be made in adult journalist size...you know with a slightly larger head hole than usual?? Shouldn't that be with a smaller head hole than usual? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted May 17, 2006 I wonder if they can be made in adult journalist size...you know with a slightly larger head hole than usual?? And here was me thinking "But baddad isn't a journalist?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted May 17, 2006 Shouldn't that be with a smaller head hole than usual? Hmm....perhaps it should have 'super-sized' ego pocket instead then? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted May 17, 2006 Hi I do think awareness of ASDs needs to be raised, but I'm not convinced that doing it so blatantly is the best way forward. Cards are much more subtle and can be shown when the need arises. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted May 17, 2006 I can't do it!!! I mean, when I was a kid, my neighbour (elderly lady) put name tags on us all so that she could remember our names! That was bad enough so I could definately not let my son wear one of those T-shirts. He is who he is, Autism or not. He's a lovely, handsome lil boy who does not deserve to be belittled by wearing something like that! JMO. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allure Report post Posted May 18, 2006 I'm a bit dodgy about these anyway - it sort of emphasises how vulnerable my son is & that's not something I would want advertised. Having said that, I have bought a tee shirt for me from another site - it's got an orange partially peeled; underneath the orange skin is an apple. The slogan is "Autism, it's not what you think". I quite like this shirt, I'm happy for me to wear it & it has caused two people to come up to me - one to ask genuine questions about autism & one to say "where did you get that shirt, I'd like one, my niece is autistic". Result I reckon. TBH I have a bit of a problem with the autism / naughty slogan anyway - if other people choose to think he's being naughty when he's in meltdown, I don't really care. I certainly don't feel obliged to explain it to them what's happening, just to provide comfort to them about their view of the world. Then again, I have been feeling quite bolshy lately Jill, could you tell me where you got your orange/apple t-shirt from, i'd really like to get one! I wouldn't put wade in a shirt like that naughty one. He's 12 so He would not wear it anyway but i think it also gives people who are misinformed (such as katie grant from the times) more ammunition to misconstrue what autism is truly about! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted May 18, 2006 Jill, could you tell me where you got your orange/apple t-shirt from, i'd really like to get one! I wouldn't put wade in a shirt like that naughty one. He's 12 so He would not wear it anyway but i think it also gives people who are misinformed (such as katie grant from the times) more ammunition to misconstrue what autism is truly about! Jill prob got it from another message board we both frequant. Jill, you'll prob havta ask 'G' before posting it here, I dunno. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted May 19, 2006 I have sent PMs to the two people who specifically asked about my t-shirt - I bought it from another "ASD" site, so I don't want to put a link on here - 1st cos it's a bit cheeky "advertising" another site on this one! 2nd cos I haven't asked permission from the people that run the other site (and they are teachers so I don't want to risk detention ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted May 20, 2006 (edited) I wouldn't put my son in one Also I've seen the price they go for on some selling sites, rip off !!!!! Wonder if any of the profit is used for increasing 'autismawareness' in the 'uk' grrrrr !!! Labelling a child on his/her clothes doesn't increase awareness. Edited May 20, 2006 by lil_me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites