Paula Report post Posted May 18, 2006 (edited) yet againe it looks like were not going to be able to take part in a family evening out. My Nt daughter of 14 isnt the problem she could be left on her own for a few houres with a mate watching dvds ect but our 12 year old AS son is a no no. Theres no ###### to take care of him and i darent leave him in the house for long periods with his sister as the carer because it tends to kick of and i wouldnt be able to relax. I normally get my older cousen who has many Aspie traites himself to babysit because he gets on like an house on fire with our son who enjoys his company.There into the same things But hes of to a fishing faire or something and so isnt available. Theres a desperate need for a group of local parents with special needs kids or kids on the autistic spectrum to provide babysitting services i cant be alone on this.Ive often thought about setting up a group but dont know how to go about it or the legal things needed if at all. Im fed up and will be sat in yet againe on a saturday night bored stiff.Last time we went out without the kids was in January.We have to take them every where with us or not go at all. Moan over Edited May 18, 2006 by Paula Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted May 18, 2006 Hi Paula, Totally sympathise with you - my mum looks after mine when I'm in work so we never ask her to 'babysit' of an evening (my husband doesn't have any family and I have one brother who I doesn't talk to us) and I could never ask any of my friends as they probably already think she's badly behaved and I don't want to have to feel like I need to justify her behaviour. My uncle got engaged at the weekend and we had to decline the party - and also my cousin is getting married in August and they've only invited me and hubbie - so we've had to decline that one too. It's tough when you never get time on your own - with kids like ours you don't even get the couple of hours in the evening when the kids are in bed kind of thing that all my friends have. Hope you manage to sort something out. Take care, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adamsmum Report post Posted May 18, 2006 Me and DH havent been for a night out together for nearly 5 years. I havent had an evening to myself for nearly 3 years. Yes it's very depressing infact thats an understatment but no one will look after my boy as 3 are SN. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted May 18, 2006 <'> <'> All round i think We dont get time on an evening to ourselves either.Our son refuses to go to bed untill we go up to bed.This has been going on for years.If we force him upstaires he roams around causeing bother with his siter and it all kicks of so youre evenings ruined with arguments. So he sits downstaires with us like a bloomeing gooseberry. Ive no close freinds Haveing an As son kinda inforced isolation involuntary on me.Parents with NT kids havent a clue and i wouldnt trust a babysitter plus he doesnt like being left with folks he doesnt like or has taken against. Oh well itll be a big bar of chacalate to stuff me face with,dvd on the box and me As son sat yet againe in a make shift thong (underpants on back to front he insists !!!!!!!!!!!!!!) farting and shouting hey babstow !!!!!!!!! What better way to spend saturday night. Id better try to see the funny side of it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted May 18, 2006 Hi Paula, If I lived closer I'd offer for you. Make sure it's one of those enormous bars!!!! and at least a gallon of wine!!! Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted May 18, 2006 Paula, What a fantastic idea of starting some form of babysitting circle. Hope it takes off We've had probs also attending family occassions. Normally my mum is more than happy to babysit, but if its a family do we obviously can't ask her We've declined invites to weddings , christenings etc......usually after exploring all the options. Once upon a time we would of bent over backwards to try to make things, with one of us going alone with older kids etc, but try to avoid doing that now. Not sure its sits well with us anymore, why should we leave our youngest at home, but then feel awful for our eldest two missing out.......... . Not sure everyone understands though when we explain why we can't attend Good luck with your idea paula Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted May 18, 2006 thats a great idea . i wonder how you would go about starting one. im a single mum and never ever go out in the evenings or weekends-i cant see myself ever meeting anyone for a relationship,let alone even being able to meet them. ive got some family but they have to be pushed into it and then they moan and complain -so whats the point asking them -all they do is make you feel guilty[the swines] i even payed my own sister once or twice ,but they dont want to do it regular. its not healthly for us to be house bound all the time. i better of becoming a nun at this rate too Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisann Report post Posted May 18, 2006 Hi Paula If we lived near you hun I would baby sit for you <'> Know what it's like to find a sitter it's cr*p. Love Lisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
westie Report post Posted May 18, 2006 (edited) Lisa you cannot live that far away from me so can I fetch my kids round saturday please? could all interested parties post in a new thread on this forum, with their name/no of kids/ location; and then after a certain amount of time (X weeks?) they could be sorted geographically and then parents could arrange to meet and discuss the idea further??????? Or if bothered about posting personal details direct on here perhaps someone could be the co-ordinator to whom this info should be sent (a moderator or regular user?) then the info is not spread to all and sundry just a thought.. <'> to Paula, though at least your frustration has led to you posting this excellent idea! Edited May 18, 2006 by westie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted May 18, 2006 I was once asked if I wanted to join a baby sitting circle. On the face of it I thought it was a fab idea, except for the fact that I'd have to find a baby sitter while I was babysitting for someone else Great idea, but if it's a reciprocal sitter circle as most them are then single parents have to be taken into account. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted May 19, 2006 I wouldnt automatically assume the baby sitting had to be recipricated. But it would be realy nice if you could have someone who understood about Autism and the spectrum who also had a child on the spectrum to care for youres in emergencys or just know and againe when you fancied a night out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted May 19, 2006 oh i know what you mean. i consider myself lucky cos once a year i go to a motorcycle rally friday til sunday. my sons dad wont have him overnight any other time cos he still wont use the loo. That is my only break from my son. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weelewy Report post Posted May 19, 2006 hiya paula, just an idea, but i heard some of the woman at a group i go to talking about respite, i dont know too much about it but i think they can go away over nite to a place that has specially trained people to look after them. i know theres a couple in my area but you could mabey ask your health visitor or someone like that or even google it. hope you find something, we all need some time to our selfs. luv kirsty Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karin Report post Posted May 19, 2006 hiya paula we have same prob but have found a friends daughter to do it at last have not been away from twins in all the time they have been on this earth nearly 10 years (except 1 nite and that was for an op in hospital) this girl is pretty good with them she is a wiz on the xbox an loves footy (plays in a local team) as do my 2 we get out every couple of months and i do appreciate the time away know how you feel its really hard you cant even bribe anybody to take them (hubby has 3 sisters an 2 brothers) but they all love the twins but none of them will even babysit for them hope you do start a group up it would be a good thing keep smilin luv karin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted May 19, 2006 My cousen has come up trumps and phoned me and is avbailable to sit tommorrow night now. Hurray !!!!!!!!!!!!! Im going to enjoy a meal in peace,a drink of wine and no washing up or dirty backsides to wipe inbetween courses. There is a god. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisann Report post Posted May 19, 2006 Westie was that kids Where in south yorks are you ??? Lisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
westie Report post Posted May 19, 2006 Westie was that kids Where in south yorks are you ??? Lisa Lisa Hi I live in Rotherham, just like you! And yes it was kids! They are really sweet (honest!!!) Paula glad you will get out after all, hope you have a great evening Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted May 19, 2006 Lisa, Could i drop my 3 off aswell? I know it would be a 2 hr drive, but I'd be happy for them to stay overnight and could pay you in either chocolate or muffins Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted May 19, 2006 Hope u have a really good evening out Paula, enjoy!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted May 20, 2006 (edited) Great to hear you got it sorted, enjoy your night out We've only got my brother in law who babysits occasionally, he used to babysit more but now he's 20 he's got a social life on a weekend and takes much more financial bribing. Girls who work for a local charity as support workers offered to babysit for me, but at their current rate, ?6.50 per hour paid travelling time & petrol, just can't afford/justify that for a night out Someone said to me that their sons LSA babysits for them, might be worth a try if he has one, babysitting circles are done on principal of earning sitters by being one, which like someone has said would probably be impossible for me as DP works thirs-sat evening. Also try asking parents in local support groups, I know a Mam in ours has a girl who is at Uni babysits for her aswell as doing a befriending for her as she is studying to be a teacher and wants to specialise in ASD, so when a few more Mams found out they have jumped at the chance and she's usually babysitting 3/4 days a week. Edited May 20, 2006 by lil_me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
