do any of you have a child that loves everyone

[darky]

i am concerned about my daughter. she has no idea about relationship boundries. we have had builders in the house for the past few weeks and she is just over familiar with them. anyone that glances a smile she confesses her un-dying love to and throws her arms arround anyone that comes to the door.

her teacher says now she is getting very clingy to her and will not settle or work with anyone else, teacher says she just seems to use clingy emotional contact to get attention. she just seems to constantly invade peoples personal space, and was described by one teacher as "in your face the whole time"

does anyone elses child with adhd/asd do this? and what can you do about it? i have tried working with her, ive drawn circles with us as family etc and explained the sorts of physical contact is acceptable and then drawn other circles for other groups of people with other acceptable physical contact. thing is, she is 7 now, and although its still classed as rather "cute" it wont be long before its totaly innapropiate, in fact, i feel its that way now.

any advice or experiences?

[Bullet]

Ds1 is the same (although he's a lot younger). He has never had that "fear of strangers" that I see other toddlers having. He approached this total stranger at a train station recently, tried to clamber onto her lap for a cuddle and then made a dive for her bag straps

To be honest I find it sad that a lovely way of communicating and interacting must be tempered. I dread having to explain to my affectionate Ds that there are times he can't go and hug somebody

[darky]

oh i know exactly what you mean! it is very sad because 1 year ago she went totaly socialy isolated and wouldnt speak to anyone, especialy peers. she has a new found confidence since being in a more supportive school. trouble is its gone the other way and to her everyone is lovely and its a fluffy bunny world with no nasties, well accept balloons, bugs, buses, etc you get the picture.

[smiley]

Yes, yes, yes! My son seems to go from one extreme to the other - he's either totally ignoring everyone - or hugging them to within an inch of their lives! He has no awareness of strangers and will approach anyone, and chat about his obsessions.... I've been trying to teach him stranger danger, but it's such a grey area..... He helped a little old lady up when she fell in the street the other day (he's such a sweetie ) and then panicked because he'd spoken to a stranger. Or - he will go up to a stranger - aks them their name - and happily chat away to them. Once he knows the name - he thinks their not strangers....... It's also quite inappropriate - the neighbour we hardly ever talk to will get the same huge hug and kisses as a family member IYSWIM! Bless him, he's a loving little soul!

[darky]

thanks for that, i am getting confused because everyone i talk to who has kiddies with asd say the opposite, that their child will not hug or show much affection with anyone. with my daughter its the other way arround, she practicaly throws herself towards anyone that so much as glances a smile. i suppose its the same thing in that has problems with social skills.

[lisann]

Darky Char is very OTT with people he knows and doesn't understand the social bounderies.He totaly ignores strangers. he hugs the life out of my daughter and tries snoging her all the time it's quite funny to watch because he is a big 4 year old and she a skinny 7 year old he pins her and plants a few snogs and nearly crushes her when he cuddles her.

 

Lisa x

[Tensing]

Yes my 9 year old daughter will talk to anyone, and is way to trusting.

 

6 year old son on the other hand hates anybody he doesn't know, and will not talk to them unless formally introduced. That said when he does know them he gets very friendly.

[Flora]

Is there ever a happy medium???

 

William treats everyone with extreme suspicion and wariness apart from the rare occasions for some reason or another he takes an extreme liking to someone who he then talks the hind legs off.

 

Luke just pretends that people aren't there. We have had family or friends staying and he has acted as if they don't exist. Only to ask about a week after they've left 'where is so and so, are they still in bed?'

[helenmorbey]

My little girl has got very attached to her nursery teacher, i showed her a picture inside the school of her new reception teacher and she said "well i dont like her hair", she actually looks at strangers with disgust! Helen x

[PinkSapphireAngel]

My 8 year old ds hasn't got ASD but does have sensory intergration issues and dyslexia, he is forever cuddling complete strangers, if I stop and talk to anyone he has to cuddle them.

Its strange because he is also at the stage where if I kiss him infront of his school friends he runs a mile lol

 

My dh gets very worried about him being so friendly with strangers.

[BuntyB]

My daughter is also OTT (although she has improved recently- she is now 11, so perhaps there is hope!)

CAMHS said she did not have an ASD because she 'didn't have social problems' by this they meant she wasn't like her sister who cannot stand contact!

 

C loves and cuddles anybody and thinks her best friend is her previous primary teacher. Teaching 'stranger danger' doesn't always help- she can tell you all about it, but doesn't have a concept of what a stranger is- as soon as she meets somebody new, they immediately become her best friend!

We were extremely worried about her as she now has a 'boyfriend', but when we tell her now that when she was 4, she got hold of a complete strangers leg and declared undying love, she laughs accepting this isn't the done thing.

 

It might be simpler to have a list of people it is okay to hug, or a coloured badge for family and close friends to indicate it's okay, than to try to explain a very confusing concept!

[Jill]

CAMHS said she did not have an ASD because she 'didn't have social problems' by this they meant she wasn't like her sister who cannot stand contact!

 

What utter . How do these people end up in jobs, when they know so little?

 

It's not about having "social problems" it's about inappropriate social interaction - a completely different thing. It's wholly inappropriate to hug a stranger for example - something that an NT child would be highly unlikely to do.

Edited May 23, 2006 by Jill