I'm really struggling...

[jomarie]

Well unfortunately another moaning miserable post from me. Things are currently going from bad to worse, M's relationship with the head is just appalling, I'd list the things that have happened recently but in all honesty I can't face saying or typing them out again I'm having lots of support, M has started therapy at CAMHS which he's really enjoying & they've even provided counselling for me too, as I have PND & am still having my own troubles gettingmy own head around everything thats happening. The outreach team are helping wherever they can, someone from parent partnership was out to see me this afternoon, & she was great, letting me know that everything the school is doing is wrong (& in several cases illegal). I've even had our very own wonderful Oracle giving me the benefit of her knowledge <'>

 

But still I'm feeling at a dead end, the school he's at can't provide the help he needs (well can't or won't is the sixty million dollar question ) & the only other school thats close enough to us to be a possibility is full to the brim

 

I'm feel so low now, I'm fighting & fighting but it feels like 3 steps forward 5 steps back. And M is so miserable himself at the moment, he's clearly stressed & unhappy, he's complaining of tummy aches again & his mouth ulcers have returned. If I could home educate I would, but with two toddlers running around I think I'd actually be failing all of them if I did that, I couldn't possibly give M the amount of help & stimulation he requires & the lil uns would miss out on quality time with me too

 

I know I'll snap out of this & I'll fight on as much as I can but right now that mountain to climb just looks too high & too dangerous, & if I'm honest I'm so scared that I might fail my child that I can't see past it

 

drink anyone??

[curra]

Hi Jomarie,

 

Just wanted to send you lots of <'> <'> <'> <'>

and let you know that you're not alone. I feel just like you many times, almost everyday.

Don't lose hope. Things can get better with support from CAMHS and the outreach team.

 

 

I'm also having one

 

Curra

[jb1964]

Hi Jomarie,

 

Sending lots of wishes that you hope to see more clearly soon. It's an enormous constant strain and sometimes it drags you down to that bottomless pit - but I'm sure you'll dig yourself out soon.

 

Take care,

Jb

[Karen A]

Dear Jomarie <'> <'> <'> I don't know what to say other than don't give up.You have a lot to manage just now. I know that PND is hard work on its own.Stick with the counselling as you need to look after yourself in order to help the toddlers plus M.It is not easy but the mountains do become possible to climb just don't expect to climb them all at once.Hope it helps to know there are others listening. <'> Karen A.

[marshmallow]

Hi Jomarie,

 

Lots of <'> <'> <'> . Try to take some time out for yourself, I know its not easy. Enjoy your

[KATHY BLAIR]

What age is your son?

 

It can be such a struggle to get things sorted out iwth the school and sometimes it feels like itis endless.

 

I suffered from post natal depression with both my girls. The youngest will be 5 in September. Rachael who is 7 has AS and was diagnosed when she was 4.

 

I know its hard - because of the stress with your son, you never get time to get your head around your own feelings and you spend so much time worrying about other peoples, that you don't even know what you do feel!

 

Take each day at a time and try to prioritise what you need to sort out (not easy when you feel like you can't even think straight! ). You are doing your best for your family and that is all you can do. The summer holidays are coming and that will give your son a much needed break from school. Give yourself some time as a family - time when you don't think about school at all. Go out and do loads of fun things, that make you laugh.

 

Then when it is time to think about returning to school you will feel renewed (in theory anyway ).

 

I know that my little girl picked up a lot on the tension between me and the school, even though I thought I was being discreet.

 

Try and stay positive, you will get there in the end - because mothers always do

[LittleRae]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[Bagpuss]

Jomarie, hang in there <'>

[pumpkinpie]

Sorry you are so fed up at the mo!

Does your lad have a statement? If he has there is nothing to stop you from calling an early review and ask for the school you like to be named. My understanding is that its up to the lea to find the funds and the space not you, once hes named thety have to sort it!

 

You say the school is clearly acting illegally. Do the governors know? Have you written and complained I know its hard but iy sounds like you need to getting evidence together to shjow this school is not meeting his needs/

[Daisydot]

Hi Jomarie

 

How familiar this sounds. I have experienced such problems myself and have spoken to so many others who have had similar experiences. Its probably not much comfort at the moment, but you are not alone. What mainstream schools do not yet understand is that most children with ASD do not mean to behave badly, they react to their environment, or they just do not realise that what they are doing is naughty.

 

I have recently completed the NAS "Early Bird Plus Course" which was run by our LEA. This was really helpful because it helps you to understand why children with ASD behave in certain ways and more importantly it is not your fault. However, it also shows you strategies and ways to try to help the children. I would recommend the course and it was free. The best thing about the course, though was that there were other parents there in exactly the same boat and we were actually able to LAUGH about the situations we had been in with our children (which is a rare commodity around ASD). I think the child has to be under 8 for this course, but there is another one for older children (I think).

 

This "Inclusion" business is just an excuse for LEAs to dump children with Special needs into mainstream schools, which are not equipped or trained (or interested) to deal with these children. Then, when the children cannot cope with the mainstream environment, and react by misbehaving, we get snotty letters from headteachers threatening exclusion. When we dare to suggest our children have underlying problems, we are told we are making excuses.

 

I have just removed my two ASD children from the school they were in. We were threatened with exclusion, told we were making excuses, and spoken to like we were parents from hell. It is actually illegal to exclude a child when the behaviour is caused by a disability, but who can you complain to or get support from. The LEA dont want to know. Its been hard but they are going to another school now which seems to have a better understanding and be more supportive.

 

I hope you feel better soon. Try to get plenty of sleep (if thats at all possible, I know its not often with ASD). and I hope things seem brighter soon. Enjoy the

 

 

 

Regards

Daisydot

[oracle]

Hi Jo

 

If PP thinks that the school is breaking the law what do 'they' intend to do about this? PP is a wonderful person but ..................... It's all very well and good everyone being NICE to you but that ain't solving the problem is it? OK so the other school is full to the brim, this is the problem. Did anyone mention an Intervention Placement to you? You could also push for a school, there is another one within mainstream, where transport would be needed and they would cough up for that.

 

I am at the hospital with my Mum this pm I will give you a ring this evening if you are up to it <'> <'> <'>

 

Oracle

Edited June 20, 2006 by oracle

[forbsay]

sending you lots and lots of hugs <'>

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Fealt exactly like you jomarie on many an occasion when the "strugle" starts to become too much.

 

I used to get of the treadmill of gp appointments hospital stuff for a while sometimes up to 6 months just to recharge everything.It helped a great deal and i was all refreshed and battle ready againe This isnt always possible though for some of us parents.

 

Take care.