Not coping

[marshmallow]

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, don't know where to start because I just want to . Taking my 3 out of the house by myself is almost impossible. DS2 is a complete nightmare at the moment. He is 2 1/2 yrs old, has excellent communication skills and seems to get his pleasure in making life as difficult as possible for others, from runnig up and biting his brother and sister, unprovoked , and laughing at their reaction, to tipping up boxes of toys in the classroom when we dropping of DS and DD at School/ Nursery, refusing to pick help pick them up, laughing again and laying on the floor trying to kick people on the way past. We have used the 1-2-3-magic (time out) approach to discipline with the othe 2, he just laughs, confiscating toys doesn't have any effect, nor does telling him off or talking to him. It is hard enough with DS, without DS2 making life more difficult. I love them all to bits but I'm just so tired and don't know what to do next.

[UltraMum]

<'> <'> <'>

Wish I was able to give you a hug in person and then put the kettle on and tell you to put your feet up while I keep DS2 from under your feet for an hour or so.

[Fionamg]

I find it nearly impossible to take my three out unless I strap the youngest (3) into a pushchair or she pulls me over and trips me up. I daren't let go of her as she has no sense of danger and doesn't realise that she could get lost or hurt. She will just run out of an open door and into the road. It is very stressful as I'm down to one hand and having to concentrate on not being pulled over so its hard to concentrate on the other two as well.

It is difficult when they are doing things that make them look badly behaved and you get the other parents tut-tutting or saying they need a good smack. You are stressed out enough already without others judging you. Just remember that children do improve and it's not going to be like this forever. It was only three years ago that my middle child (7) was doing exactly the same thing but within a year she had stopped all the worst behaviour and now comes home with good behaviour reports all the time. It is amazing what difference a year makes!

 

Fiona

[clintess]

i dont take all five of mine out either,i dont mind if i havent ds2(asd) as i can cope with ds1(adhd) and the others but ds2 just cant cope going out.he gets very stressed my ex husband takes ds1 and ds2 out on a saturday but he finds it very difficult to cope with ds2.ive had a really bad week with ds2 and that included him doing a runner on way home from school where i couldnt find him for over half hour.im thinking of finding out about respite for him but not sure if for one im doing the right thing or will it make him worse and for two would he qualify. we are literally running our lives round him and its so unfair on the other children.any advise would be welcome.

[dooday24]

<'> <'> HERES ABIG HUG , WONT TAKE MINE OUT TOGETHER EITHER JUST END UP TOTALLY STRESSED. GOOD LUCK. <'> <'>

[bid]

Just to try and give you guys some hope <'>

 

When my son was little he was a 'runner', and I couldn't take all 3 of my then children out without my DH, as we needed two sets of eyes and hands. His ADHD was so severe that he literally bounced off the walls and furniture. It was so stressful, and we were given a 'Shared Carer' for respite once a week for a few hours.

 

BUT...my son is now almost 17, and he has changed sooo much, I would never have believed it back then. And the ADHD has for the most part disappeared with adolescence.

 

For example...last week I had a dreadful morning in the days leading up to my dad passing away, and I was in tears trying to get the 3 littlies to school. Auriel appeared (before 12 midday, for a start!! ), got the youngest dressed and breakfasted, and then filled the three lunch boxes!

 

I was absolutely blown away by the way he helped...mind you, he's not done it since!

 

So I know it's easy to say that things do get better...but they really do, honest! <'>

 

Bid

Edited July 8, 2006 by bid

[marshmallow]

Thank you everyone for your replies <'> <'> <'>. Its not nice that anyone is struggling but it is a comfort to know that their are others in the same boat and things can get easier. Heres to this forum

[mossgrove]

Marsmallow

 

You application for membership of the Bad Mothers club has been refused. You are doing a good job in some very trying circumstances, and sometimes it helps to realise that.

 

Simon

[Tez]

<'> <'> Stick with it you're doing a great job.