Pepsi2015

Absolutely! It's reasurring to know I'm not the only parent to be faced with this situation, it can be an isolating issue. I've decided for the time being to put child safe on my internet line to stop inappropriate sites being accessed and we'll take things from there rather then stopping Wifi altogether, I know he can still access via mobile hotspots but they are chargeable to his mobile so hopefully it'll help push him to use the secure home internet line which I know will be safe.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. You're right life is messy sometimes! It's a real difficult situation to know the best way to handle it, but I'll take on board what you have said and suggestions

I'm really concerned about my 17 year old son's continued interest in male porn, he is saving graphical images to his pc and then emailing them to himself. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem at all what his sexual preference is, but it concerns me that he has had previous inappropriate behaviour toward peers when he was younger and now this has surfaced. I'm worried he will go from one site to another and potentially accidently click on illegal websites without realising he has accessed something illegal and god knows where that will end! I have tried to talk to him about all of this but he just gets seemingly arrogant and every question he replies " I don't know!" and starts to get agitated and verbally nasty, It's like he's on a self destruct journey but just won't admit some help/support would be a good idea, he just shuts down. He's already snarled that he doesn't want my help. I really don't know what I can do to stop this situation, other then change the wifi password so he cannot access the internet at all (to keep him safe).

I can honestly say I have not a clue why he won't wash/shower, I have always had to make sure he had a bath/shower/wash while he was growing up but when he is 6ft 2 at 17, it's obviously very difficult to make him shower/wash, all I can do is verbally keep on at him. I figured last night he is actually staying up until 3-4am on his computer when he gets in from work at 11.30pm so it's little wonder he is so tired the next day huh? Again why he does this is another of life's mysteries. No, I can say 100% that he does not have the same illness/difficulties as me, mine is M.S so I know first hand how tiring and what a struggle disability is.... I'm not sure that he is depressed per se, yes he had a terrible time at school/college with bullying and it was around the time he was 15 that washing became a problem, the time that a teenager becomes more aware of their body and obviously once he stepped into the teens it was no longer appropriate for me to be near to the bathroom when he washed in order to make sure he did. It's like he knows he can get away with not doing it now...but I don't know the reason. I approached the subject of if it is a sensory reason or if not, what may bother him,but tbh he just shuts me down and refuses to talk about it, his reply to everything in life when he doesn't want to deal with it is "I don't know" and that's where the door slams shut. I don't think my GP would actually discuss him with me due to his age, it would have to be consented I would imagine and there is no way he would agree to it, also there is no way he will see anyone as he firmly believes he has no problem. This is why I have tried to make him aware that his condition does have a name and there is help, I don't say it to imply he has a problem but from my position I would disagree, disabilities do and can cause a problem if they aren't acknowledged and managed. I feel my son needs to acknowledge his lack of hygiene is causing a very big problem, now it may not affect him but it for sure is affecting me living in the same house.

Hi Thanks for responding, I have asked him why he doesn't like showering, thinking it could be sensory, but he just replies he can't be bothered and he just doesn't care about whether he smells or not or what other people may think, he just digs his heels in and just doesn't car about his appearance or hygeine so it doesn't bother him if people think otherwise. But you know I could kind of cope with that, it's the smell in his room I absolutely can't because it affects my life having to live in the smell so it makes me feel dirty and smelly as well as the house.It really does make me want to vomit. There is no way at all he would consider a support worker or even go to the GP, he is adamant he does not have Aspergers or any problems, he feels it's the rest of the world that has the problem, and you're right, no amount of telling will change his mind, if it's black he will argue that it's white. I was claiming DLA for him a couple of years ago but one the last renewal it was declined and tbh I haven't the energy to fight about it because a lot of things he can physically do, it's the 'common sense' things he struggles with and they way the PIP scores are, I doubt they would award it now, and as he would have to claim for himself, there is no way he would agree to it as he feels he doesn't have a problem!

Hi, this is my first post and I am desperate for some advice please... My son is almost 18, diagnosed Aspergers and ADD, he used to more ADD prominent but the last 2 years it seems to have shifted some and his Asperger's is more obvious now. He refuses to wash, to shower or bath, he doesn't brush his teeth or change his bed sheets/clothes for washing. If I make him shower/wash I pay the price after because every single time it is the starts/ends with the most horrendous arguments, and when he finally gets into the bathroom he pretends to shower, he just put's water on his head, stays in the bathroom for about 10 mins and comes out (still in a foul mood) again. If I say he hasn't showered all hell breaks loose again. I have a long term illness and stress can make me very ill, bringing on an relapse, so this constant battling is exhausting, mentally and physically. Not only this but he works 3.00pm - 11.00pm but when he gets in he is on his computer until approx. 1.00-1.30AM and then sleeps until 2.00pm the next day, where he gets up and goes off to work and the whole cycle starts again each day. It doesn't matter what I say, he still feels he has a right to sleep until 2.00pm and never bother to get up earlier and help with chores around the house (I work full time and struggle to keep the house in order, animals seen to, keeping my son in the 'real world' and keeping myself well with all the stress) The final nail in the coffin is that there is an awful disgusting smell in his room, a smell I have never smelt before so I cannot even describe it, other to say it actually makes me want to vomit and when he opens his door I can smell it wafting down the stairs into the lounge. I have tried everything I can think of to get rid of it, redecorated (which helped for a while but the smell came back), threw out and bought new pillows/duvet, curtains, had him steam the floor and made him sort through the stuff strewn across the floor but the smell is still there! Air fresheners, automatic ones, burning incense, it all helps mask the smell but it comes back straight after, seems to be worse when he's got the window and door closed during the night because when the door is opened in the morning the smell is very strong.....He of course sys he can't smell anything, that it's all in my head and only I can smell it...but it isn't, I have had two other peoples witness it as well! HELP........