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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

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  2. Books on ASD suggestions please.

    I recently bought and read that book. It gets good ratings: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28000268-autism-equality-in-the-workplace
  3. Yesterday
  4. Gaming meltdown

    Hi My son is diagnosed he's 24 he loves Xbox but hates to loose and reacts just like your son.He plays online and is always ranting people are cheating, its not faire he gets in a right strop.Its hard to just not get involved and leave them to it but we try.I found it's best not even to casually enquire as to what's wrong it just fuels his rant.We ignore him let him rant it tends to blow over.When he's calm again we find its best not to bring up the subject it can set him off again. We didn't get the diagnosis till our son was 20 but we knew and he had attended a special school with a statement. I suggest you speak to your go say you want him accessing it took 12 months on a waiting list in our area to see the physiologist then a further 6 for the assessment.
  5. Why is he so nasty

    He lives at home,he has his own space lock on door TV game console sky multi room Netflix amazon ,he's plenty cash,he goes off on weekends away every three weeks with mencap ,he s friends ,voluntary work he's got a great carry on ,he's a pain at times ,but he's our pain.Just a bad day all round.
  6. Books on ASD suggestions please.

    Autism Equality in the Workplace: Removing barriers and challenging discrimination by Janine Booth. I was one of the people interviewed for this book, anonymised as "Lauren, civil servant".
  7. The Undateables is back

    Here. You can also catch up on earlier series - all eight of them! It may also be worthwhile checking the Radio Times website for details of repeats. No doubt other listings magazine carry this information, but that's the one I'm most familiar with.
  8. Last week
  9. The Undateables is back

    Where can I watch this show online?
  10. Earlier
  11. Here comes the bride...

    The link to the coverage of the Luxembourg royal wedding is now broken, but you can view some pictures of the occasion here. Whilst there are no crown princes available at the time of writing there are currently three crown princesses on the books, of which the eldest is Elisabeth of Belgium.
  12. The Undateables is back

    More about Heather: The hopeless romantic who's terrified of love
  13. Why is he so nasty

    Wish I knew what was making him so horrible towards you. I can tease people sometimes but if I see they're upset I back off. Is this recent behaviour or something building up over time? Anything in particular in his life causing him to lash out? Remind me again does he live with you? Can you get respite care from him from social services as a carer for your disabled son? I have been off the rails in the past. For me it was a combination of triggers: 1. Having gluten, dairy, anything ending in the word benzoate, pineapple or tartaric acid anywhere near my mouth or on my skin. 2. Flashbacks from my traumatic past causing me to push others away as I felt I couldn't open up to them. 3. Severe physical pain from my then undiagnosed fibromyalgia and eds/hms every joint in my body apart from my back can dislocate multiple times a day. It is very painful and I'm still getting on top of treating it properly. 4. Hunger and or fatigue caused by not recognising the signs as the timing of this post shows. 5. More changes in the day than I can process and understand especially last minute ones. 6. Clashes with my teenage siblings. 7. People saying things that reminded me of my past or lying to me. 8. Unclear and unrealistic expectations from others I was never able to meet. Most of the above have been resolved bar a few. I'm a better person to get along with when I've been sipping tonic water (to settle cross contamination from gluten and dairy), have taken meds, has plenty of sleep etc and have my own space to process changes and what's expected of me. Really hope you get to the bottom of what's going on ASAP.
  14. Why is he so nasty

    He's a grown man 24 so what he's a diagnosis of autism does that give him a free card on being awfull to me his mum shoes done every damn thing for him whoes sorted stuff supported put myself last constantly....the little has just text me whilst hollering abuse. Least I'm fit and healthy...I'm looking at a possible diagnosis of ovarian cancer ...I'm in tears there's no excuse he's a rotton son ....I can't stand him at times he makes life hell but you stick in they're don't you but for what ...I've had it with him if I could walk off never to return I would.So tired of this
  15. The Undateables is back

    The Undateables is back tonight (Monday 10 September, 21:00 BST, Channel 4).In the latest episode: The award-winning series returns with more singletons looking for love, including film buff Charlotte, who has Asperger's, and Mitch, who was born deaf and lip reads when dating. (S9 Ep1/3)That'll be only the second time an autistic woman has appeared on The Undateables as a main participant (as opposed to one of the matches). The previous one was Heather in the second series: Series 2 episode 4: Heather, Gareth & Matthew
  16. Aspergers & Relationships

    I came across the concept of demisexuality on another autism forum and I realised that it fits me down to the ground.
  17. Supporting young people with autism to gain Civil Service experience Posted by: Civil Service Blog Team, Posted on: 29 March 2018 - Categories: A great place to work, Diversity and inclusion To mark World Autism Awareness Week we asked Amy, Jonathan and Damon to tell us about their work experience placements in the Civil Service. The Civil Service Autism Exchange Programme, in partnership with charity Ambitious About Autism, started in 2015 to offer paid quality work experience to young people like Amy, Jonathan and Damon with autism, and autism awareness training for employers. The programme offers those taking part the chance to learn new work skills while providing career development and networking advice. In exchange, participants teach managers and government departments about autism awareness. Read more
  18. Can you book an appointment with him with an asd aware counseller to come to the house and help him? My relative used to do that for me when I was stuck in a duty due to my unrecognised secondary mental health problems. He sounds scared of the world so hides in his safer place of home due to the experiences at primary school. Has he had any support at secondary school that really benefited him? There's a lot of choices regarding what to do and not to when leaving school. It can get overwhelming at times for asd kids. I used to sit around all day in the same clothes and go to bed in them because I couldn't decide what to wear so I stayed in what I was wearing. You mention his computer projects? Is there anyway that can be turned into a career for him? Could he work from home? Either doing his own business or testing computer games and writing up reviews? Also teenager type of problems can last longer in autistics (that's my theory anyway) when I was 23 I woke up one day to find the anxiety had gone and had some years of stability. Nothing in particular happened I think my hormones settled down. Another possibility is that he has a chronic pain condition he's unable to express apart from the depression type behaviours you are seeing. It is very rare that when I'm in physical pain I say "ouch" I can get snappy and grumpy instead though. John clements mentioned in his book "people with autism behaving badly" (despite the title he is very understanding towards those of us on the spectrum). I realise this is a lot to think about and you want the best for your son. Hope you get some answers soon. For context I was dislocating every joint in my body except my back but was unable to express it, also have extreme muscle pain. I am a highly verbal autistic as well just couldn't say "this hurts like hell" like 'normies' can.
  19. Challenging Limits

    Knowing when to delegate a task to someone else is the key. Also finding alternative ways in which to complete a task can be helpful. I can book my car in for a service using an online app or an email. Some companies offer an mot test booking online. You get an email to confirm your test time and booking details. The scheme I'm on means they ring me up to ask for my car to be booked in for an mot. It still stresses me out as I have to plan out a whole day to get it done and I'm under time pressure to do it. When I rang up with a problem with my current car I was asked if I still had the last one. But you have to deliver the last car in order to pick up the next one so that seemed illogical to ask. If you present female at a garage some may try and rip you off, but if you present male or go with a friend being ripped off is less likely. Can't you start the phone call with another person in the room and then if the call goes wrong say "I can't cope with this please speak to (name of person)" or "I can't cope with this please speak to my support worker". Some gp practices can permit email contact but I'm not sure how that would work for booking appointments. If your gp is aware of your difficulties on the phone they may permit email contact. The subject line would be "FAO (your gps name)" if you can't cope with a telephone appointment (where the gp rings you back within a set two hour window) mention that on the email. Only downside of not having telephone appointments is you have to wait longer to see your gp.
  20. i hate my father

    Sorry to hear this, but as you say, it was written when you were really down. Its quite a common thing, so you are only expressing your thoughts, sometimes its safer to vent to strangers on a forum. This morning I saw on Netflix a series about a self help man. His name is Tony Robbins (he's on Netflix) and maybe immerse yourself in these and other self help books and documentaries. Good luck xx
  21. Hi, My son is 16 and was home educated for a number of years, which just about saved his sanity, but now he has got into a routine of staying in bed late and working on his computer projects all day. I worry about him not getting enough exercise, socialising, and making his way in the world. I thought that it would all get better when he could go to the local College and study for his chosen subject, and meeting like minded people etc But he started to make excuses and on the day of the college interview he refused to get out of the car, it ended up me driving him home and he was near to having a panic attack. He said he wanted work rather than go to college, but he has no idea what he wants to do, and I have no idea how to help him. He doesn't have a lot of confidence thanks to his primary school, and I don't want him to spend his days in his bedroom. Are there any people or organisations that would help him, maybe talk through and guide him about his choices? I don't mind paying for a specialist career advisor or life coach. Any help appreciated
  22. Hello! My name's Jeanna Song and I'm recruiting parents and professionals for my Master dissertation research at Queen's University-Belfast in Northern Ireland. The study is to explore the behavioral differences between boys and girls and hopefully to gain a better understanding of the 4:1 diagnostic gap between the two genders. The main part of the study include a questionnaire (takes 15-20 minutes) on a child under your care (boys and girls under 18, with a diagnosis or is under investigation for ASD). There is an OPTIONAL interview for carers of girls, which you will have the opportunity to indicate interest to receive more information about at the end of the questionnaire. Please use links below (Survey Monkey web pages) to access the information page, consent and questionnaires. For Parents: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/3WZ7XSB For Professionals: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/3FNSXN5 Ethics Approval: The current study is approved by the QUB School of Social Sciences, Education and Social Work (SSESW) Ethics Committee. If you have any concerns regarding the study procedures or data handling, please contact the approval body via research supervisor: Dr. Laura Dunne. Researcher Contact Details: Jeanna Song Email: jsong07@qub.ac.uk Research Supervisor Contact Details: Dr. Laura Dunne Email: L.Dunne@qub.ac.uk
  23. Another newbie :)

    Hi, I'm Neal, in my early 50's and I was diagnosed with HF ASD (Asperger's) 12 months ago. I've always felt like I didn't "fit" It feels like I exist in a bubble, with the rest of the universe happening around me, but not to me - if that makes any sense! I was told at age 11 that I was adopted ( my "mum & dad" where really my grandparents and my "older sister" was actually my mum!). My entire family structure was turned upside down in an instant! Until recently I always attributed my lack of confidence, inability to build bonds, and general "not fitting in" to this revelation, but when my 10 yro daughter was diagnosed with ASD 18 months ago and as a result of the research my partner and I did into autism, I began to realise I may be on the spectrum. Sure enough, my diagnosis was confirmed!!! I'm sure my past experiences also had a significant part to play, but that combined with my diagnosis has made much more sense of my life and who I am. I'm still trying to figure out exactly who I am, what I want and how I want to fit into this world, and I hope this forum will be able to help me do that. Cheers, Neal
  24. I listened to a radio drama today called Indigo Children. Naively, I assumed the concept was entirely fictitious!
  25. Um... Hi!

    Anything south of the Tyne is the Midlands. Anything north of the Tweed is the Arctic. Right, that's got the geography sorted out!
  26. Challenging Limits

    I suppose it depends on what someone wants to achieve in life. In areas such as employment, life can be very competitive and people are expected to be be very knowledgeable about thir subject, have excellent communication skills, welcome change etc etc. There appears to be little choice but to push oneself to the limits. To help to do this coping strategies are useful.
  27. Challenging Limits

    So... Something that has been a persistent thorn in my side since my diagnosis... To what degree should one accept their limitations because of their condition, and to what degree should it be challenged? I understand, absolutely, that the answer is mostly subjective to oneself, but I’d be keen to hear other people’s personal experience of such scenarios. Is it OK to say, “No, I know I can’t do that; I know it stresses me out too much “...? Or is that being defeatist? I often feel guilty trying to impress that upon someone/myself - like I should be trying harder. My own example would be something like speaking on the phone, arranging an appointment or booking the car’s MOT. I feel so awkward, so ill-prepared for their questions and unable to process quickly enough that I plead with others to do it for me. But then feel worse for it. I should be able to do it... And maybe it’s not that big a deal... Maybe I just need to “get over it”... I dunno. Any input from you lovely folk?
  28. Um... Hi!

    I have no intention to take frustrations out on *people*...! Unless they like pineapple on pizza and think Daniel Craig is the best 007. And no, no, no. Liverpool isn’t “North “....! It’s basically Midlands at best! XD
  29. New member.

    Hello and welcome I've struggled with food addiction. I cannot have 'just a little bit' of gluten or dairy without wanting to have lots and lots more. I have to abstain from gluten or dairy in order to function in my daily life. There is another book 'aspergers and alcohol drinking to cope' which I'm not sure you've read or not? I've also had some breakdowns due to stress and various other problems mostly services not helping me. Struggling to get mental health support at the moment.
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