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Big Sigh, I am sure you have all come across my situation so many times, I am at an utter loss which direction to go, I have been a long term Carer to my Son, He was diagnosed at 3.5 years approx 2001, He will be 16 in May this year, The diagnosis on the letter from his specialist was written Autism, this then changed through the years to Aspergers as more was learned about the condition, it was picked up on a health vistor review and they referred us into the system, with his non communication, it was just echolia. Through the years we have faced many many hurdles, Skin sensativity to weather, Wind or the rain freaked him out, so he would not walk in it or had a massive meltdown to the point of vomiting School run 4 times daily, was exhausting at that time,, all the usual difficulties associated with aspegers, Panic attacks which he was put on medication for, He still has night time enuresis, etc etc, I will not list all the difficulties, but suffice to say I feel totally out of my depth with the new changes and decisions, He has a indefinate DLA award, which they have now wrote and asking him to apply for PIP as he has turned 15 and 7 months, I was expecting this, but not so soon, When I first read about it, I was under the impression it would be 18, and I hoped that My son would be more ready to function, anyways to cut along story short, I have tried to speak to my son regarding his descion on claiming for PIP, I say spoke to him, two short snippets of conversation as my son gets angry with me and refuses to speak about the matter, he is 6 foot 2inches tall, and has agression issues, I have had to lock myself in the bathroom to escape from his tirades in the past, so conducting a conversation of this nature with a teenager who can be aggresive in nature has been not so pleasant, he hates the fact that he has aspergers, and won't admit that he needs help, but the reality is that I cannot leave him to care for himself, He needs encouragement to shower, he will lie in a wet bed for days if I let him, not caring that he is lying in urine soaked sheets, he cannot cook for himself because easily distracted. Meltdowns, Budget handling. Time Management. Getting him up. So many more issues, that come into the day to day life of caring. My son has flat out refused to entertain claiming, yet he is not capable enough yet or mature enough to understand the life choices he is making not only for himself, His DLA enabled me to support him, on his needs. I have no family support at all, his caring has come down to first for along time with myself, then when I remarried it has fallen to myself and my husband with no outside help, He is not ready to fend for himself yet, but financially these new changes and the choice my son has made is going to force me into a position where I will have to leave him on a daily basis on his own to care for himself. I am scared half to death on having to do this, because he is just not ready. Yet my hand is being forced into leaving him. I feel utterly despondant as a mother, i gave up all career avenues, doing the right thing on making sure he was safe and looked after, in the time that I have been caring for him, he has brought down two ceilings, set fire to an electric blanket by accident, and blown all the electrics by flooding from the bath, I had to stay at home and care that his difficulties were met, The last ten years have been hell, no social circle, no friends. No career. So now I am left with my son making financial descisions because he is going to reach 16, he does need the help, I have been desperate to work for years, yet his needs prevented this, So the years passed, He will not attend an assesment for PIP, this much I know as just getting him to any hospital appointment, has been a shouting match, weeks and weeks of I am not going, I have no idea where to even to start, How do I explain such a gap in my CV? Bring your CV, ok I will hand you two pages of blank paper. On a personal note I feel, worthless, my confidence level is non existant, How much more do you have to give? My life continues to be ruled by Aspergers. I may come across of Whiney, or Self indulgent, truely this is not how I wish to be perceived. I am just lost, We have nearly self destructed as a family, due to the aspergers, my son stopped talking to my husband for a year, we have been involved in many family services, which he refused to attend. He is vulnerable and has needed alot of help over the years, but now just because the govenment has declared him an adult at 16 it means automatically his needs are to be forgot. This is against my nature, I really thought I was doing the right thing giving up my life so his would life would be met. Now I just feel so worthless, the pressure of having a difficult homelife has took its toll through the years. I just don't even know where to start. How do you word on a CV Whilst the rest was creating career and prospects you was being attacked, verbally abused, up to your elbows in wet bedsheets, Manic with trying to deal with the pressures of Aspergers, but still got up daily to face each battle? I can't even give two referees because I don't know anybody. I know I would have not have worded this at all right. Please be kind, as I really can't cope anymore with the pressure. I am weeping now as I speak.