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Animals - musings and ramblings (only slightly ASD related)


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#1 ebichu64

ebichu64

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 01:36 PM

I know I've not posted anything for a few days. I've not been in a condition to do much. I keep having panic attacks. My doctor won't prescribe me anything but instead is sending me a relaxation CD which hasn't arrived yet. My partner, "S" has to fly off to Spain with work for 3 days on Monday so I am very frightened of being left alone for that long, but equally I don't want anyone else in the house with me. Right now I have the answer-phone on and the phone switched off, a notice up to stop cold callers, and the TV on mute with subtitles on. I've been too frightened leave the house since Monday but I've agreed to go out with S at the weekend. If the weather holds he's suggested taking the motorbike up to Alderly Edge, so I'm really hoping it stays dry.

Anyway, in between the panic attacks and knitting - which seems to help me cope with the panic- I've been thinking about the interesting stuff, mostly the characteristics of Aspergers and how they match or don't match my view of myself. It's going to be a long wait for my diagnosis, so I need to try and make sense of things in the meantime. It occurred to me that this is a place where I I can talk about random stuff and ramble a bit, and I'm interested to hear what other people think about "stuff" as well.

So here goes.

I've read in several places that women with apsergers have an almost androgneous image of themselves. This confused me at first because I've never felt like a man, never wanted to be a man and never even thought of myself as a tomboy. When I was growing up, a traditional tomboy meant climbing trees and dungerees (that rhymes!), liking sport, getting muddy. I was never any of those things but I played with my brothers because there was no-one else, I've always got on better with men than women who I feel are competitive and bitchy, I don't act or dress in a girly way and I don't do girly things - shopping with friends, ladies that lunch etc.

I think of myself more as an intelligent animal. I've always liked and been interested in animals and I feel that I'm more in tune with them than with most people. The local hedgehog never rolls into a ball if I get close to him and sometimes will even trundle about if I step back a pace or two. The blackbird will land and stay in the garden with me just a couple of yards away. I know not to look directly at birds as it's a predator threat. I meow at cats and they answer. Dogs like me even though I'm less keen on them. I knew when a donkey was getting sick before anyone else. I've flown birds of prey a few times and love it, even though it brings home just how bird-brained birds are! I just seem to have an instinctive understanding of animals and how to behave around them. Conversely, while I like animals I'm not so sentimental about them that I don't mind eating some of them too! I think some of this was growing up near a farm, feeding cows and calfs over the garden fence and knowing they might be Sunday dinner. Being omnivore is natural in the same way that a cat is carnivore and a sheep is herbivore. Another example - I ate horse in France years ago so I'm less concerned about that than the mis-labeling, fraud and deceit - especially when it was revealed yesterday that some horse meat was sold as halal beef. That's just wrong.

It amazes me how people react to animals, especially wildlife. Two of my work colleagues don't like animals because they're dirty. Of course they're dirty, they're animals! I don't blame grey squirrels for the demise of red squirrels because they didn't swim the Atlantic in their own, ships were responsible for bringing hem here. I don't blame the mink for killing our wildlife, fur farmers brought them here and animal activists released them.

People blame animals for their own mistakes.

A good recent example is the "Fox bites baby" case in South London. While I sympathise with the poor baby we didn't hear how or why the fox was in the house. If it was summer then it could wandered in through an open door that someone had left open if the weather was hot. I think that's what happened the last time a child was attacked a few years ago. But in winter? My guess is that it's developed the habit of coming in and slipped in unnoticed, so that means someone has encouraged it.

Everyone is so quick to punish the fox for its natural opportunist behaviour. The BBC Breakfast team were discussing how to get rid of the foxes. Poisoning them would have put pets at risk - they completely forgot to mention other wildlife - like hedgehogs that are so much trouble they are classed as endangered - and of course children. You can't shoot foxes in a city crowded with people and trapping them is too expensive.

Then they spoke to the lovely Chris Packham (Springwatch and The Really Wild Show) who reminded us that foxes go where the food is and if people weren't such dirty digusting animals to start with, dropping litter everywhere for them to snack on, that would naturally control the population.

I could have kissed him!

(One of the reasons I was happy to leave London was the filth. I notice the bad smell every time I go back, almost as soon as I leave the train.)

Of course he was absolutely right, but I have seen the flip side - ironically the last time I went to visit my mum in London. The council has had a major crackdown on litter, and with their food taken away so suddenly the local foxes have hunted and killed several pet cats. :-(
The fox population will reduce in time but I can see more casualties between now and then. I suppose the solution is to keep cats in at night.

The other mistake is people thinking they can almost make pets of wild animals. I feed the hedgehog to make sure he has enough fat to see him through the winter, and the squirrels to tempt them away from the bird table, but the squirrel feeder is well away from the house and I would never pick up the hedgehog. I remember a really sad story about a family that had raised a badger cub. He lived in their back garden for years but when they moved away he attacked the new family because they suddenly appeared in his territory and he had no fear of people. He was put down. Wild animals need to stay wild.

Security. On the BBC report they showed a photo of a fox standing on a kitchen worktop in front of a sash window. The sash window was open at the bottom. You know, those windows open at the top and then the fox wouldn't be able to get in.

I'd better stop here. I'm having trouble thinking of any more and so I really would be rambling.

So anyway, I'm a thinking animal. Now if only I could find a pack to run with I'd be sorted - lol!

Edited by ebichu64, 15 February 2013 - 01:44 PM.


#2 Lyndalou

Lyndalou

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    My main interests are human anthropology, psychology/mental health and history (mainly Scottish, Egyptian and Roman). I love watching forensic type or detective programmes and reading books of the same - my husband jokes that I am planning the perfect murder! I enjoy taking photographs and have a few little projects on the go :-)

Posted 15 February 2013 - 08:35 PM

Hi Ebichu64

I've always fared better in the company of men and even as a little girl I loved male attention. One of my best memories is steering a fishing boat into harbour at the age of 8 after having spent a whole day fishing with a boatload of men. I caught 21 fish that day and was very proud of that fact! After two very difficult experiences with best girl friends, my next two best friendsduring my teens were boys although one went on to betray my friendship very badly and again during my 20's I was close to a few men. It has got me into bother because I've believed the 'just friends' line when it's not been true so that's maybe why I tended to befriend gay men for a while...I got all sorts of abuse from an older man who confided in me that he was having trouble in his marriage but that we were 'just friends' and then when I started seeing my husband he acted like a jilted lover and sent me a barrage of spiteful texts about me being a 'tease' and the rest!

Right now I'm having all sorts of problems because I'm constantly surrounded by women. It's so tiring with all the hidden agendas, bitchiness and back-biting! As always....

For some time as an older child and teenager, I entertained the idea of being a vet because I loved animals. I used to try to give dead animals the 'kiss of life' (goodness knows why I never caught anything!), pigeons, voles etc and one time I squared up to some boys who were 'blowing up' frogs at the park. Then I realised that I would never be able to do a veterinary degree as I had no clue when it came to science subjects and my grades weren't high enough. So, during a particularly bad time at school I announced to mum that I was going to leave school, join the army and become a dog handler! Ballistic isn't the word.... Sometimes, I wonder if that would have been a good road to go down.

However, over the years I have only shared a house with small fluffy creatures and now none as my daughter has excema and allergies. I know I wouldn't be able to cope with the mess and hair created by a larger animal these days... So instead I have lots of animal pictures and ornaments around the place.

I don't really see myself as a woman in the sense that I'm not a girly girl. I have no great interest in shopping and when I do it I do it alone. When I shop with someone else I always feel on edge and one time I got a clothes 'makeover' because one of the women I was with impressed upon me that I needed one! Now and again I make an effort to prettify myself but most of the time I can't be bothered. I have now conceded that I now must use face cream as the wrinkles are starting to appear thick and fast!

Lynda :)

#3 Aeolienne

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Posted 30 April 2016 - 04:35 PM

Not only is Chris Packham "lovely", he's one of us!!

Chris Packham reveals he has Asperger's


Edited by Aeolienne, 30 April 2016 - 04:37 PM.





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