edith simon

Dear Mumble, Thanks a lot for explaining to me in details how you feel. It helps a lot to undestand my son and to know that it does not happen on purpose.If you find that article you mentioned ,please do write where to find it. Have a nice evening, bye-bye Edith

or maybe life would be very difficult if instead of laugh we would always cry??!!

Thanks a lot Mel. all the best Edith You know it is funny because I also find myself laughing nowdays when sg is bad...maybe I am also aspi or I have learnt it from my son??!! Don`t know.

Dear Pookie, Thanks a lot for reassuring me. Son is 23 and unfortunately he has already done that with the police as he took 3 innocent photoes in a shopping centre.Security stopped him he could not answer so ran.Security called police and a plain clothed pc started to wrestle him to the ground was handcuffed and taken to Police station. Police has not found 3 id on my son to inform me at once. He would have recognised a uniformed policeman but he was taught that run away if strangers wants to stop you so he was obedient. After 3 hours I managed to find him....and took home a wet and soiled and suffered injuries from selfbiting and wrestling with a plainclothed pc. He was not laughing at that time but he laughs now at the event........... Anyway it just came to my mind when you mentioned the policeman.............. Son and family survived but we had all a terrible 3 months of day and night stress and about 35 meetings with police and shpopping centre to clear our son`s name. We had no idea that in a shopping centre you cannot take decent pictures as the centre was new and a very nice inner building. I wish you a goodnight and thanks again. How old is yours??

Thanks a lot to all of you who answered. It is really good that it is a problem for others too and it is not only"US". Have a good day. Edith

Hi all, My son is 23 ASD + severe learning diffs.Since early childhood when something bad happens like car goes wrong on the side of the road,food is burnt,somebody is very ill or dies,somebody from family or on TV have an accident or the cat drops the pots from window....endless list ....his reaction is a bad laughing as if he really would be happy on others bad luck. I knoe it is not true but I cannot or have not managed to discover why is his reaction like this. I do not have to say that he upsets other people even his brothers and I am very sad would like to know why it is so and how can I help???? Thanks Edith

Hi dear Melow, I do symphatize with you a lot........We also had problems almost like yours about different behaviors at school and at home and very good with other people and bad behavior with us /family/.Even diffrent behavior with different family members. I was also very worried that there must be sg very wrong I do that he "destinguishe" me with that aggressive and driving mad repetitive quiestions and tried to be agressive etc. I cannot see /talking from the past as he is 23 now/ that we would have done anything wrong . Maybe school is more tolerable too and as far as I think I have never been told half of the story that happened at school because of the "?positive attitude"? of the schools and there are a lot more hands available too to help if there are behav.issues. How much is his speech and understandinG?? Does he have any favorite activities that he really likes?? Does he understand that other people can be afraid of him eg in the street or shop etc if he is charging?? Is he capable to go to gym with you?? I also inroduced boxing gloves to avoid self damage and when I see he is towards aggression I tell him to put on gloves and box the wall outside the house in the garden and he uses boxing gloves in the gym too./of course with supervision/. We also introduced risperidon 0.5 and now 1mg/day at ninghts. It is early but 2 months since he takes it and it has helped him with selfinjurios behaviour. I also make it clear that if he is jumping up and down which can be frightening for other people and children that he must stop it and why /I try 3 times/ if it does not help thenn I say punishment we will not do trampoline this week and then comes a 10-15 minutes verbal fight he says "yes he will go" I say no and no and I stick to what I said and there is no trampolin or other activities that are promised not to have that week. Fist these "no-s" lasted 1-2 hours until both of us become tired but when I managed the "No " stayed for that activity and now he has learnt that my no is really no and he will not get away with it. Please forgive me if I right sg nonesense it is because I know very little of your son and his abilities etc. But I do not mean bad. If you want to talk lookfor my e-mail. All the best, Edith

Hi Joanne, I was reading the Lovaas book myself and was wathching the Lovaas tape and I paid 1 person to help me to get on with the job as EA was out of question to provide the tharapy. I was told that my son is 12 and it will not help and I should do it fo 40 hours/week which I could not on my own of course. We had this program with 1 helper son and me for about 2hours /day. When I had critism of course from proffessionals that it will not work,I would need exports,I would need money I would need............I sent them away saying that if sy is hungry a few bredcrubs are more than nothing and I went ahaed and we had results. Just contact me if you wish .I think e-mail is available. Best Edith

Hi Joanne, It took me a good 10 years probably until my feelings were controversial and the same sometimes you say. With time we have had small and big victories and son is now 23 and my resentment has just gone and I am able to really love him although it does not mean that I am not angry sometimes. The most difficulty for me was that I could not share or did not dare to share my feelings as it went on one occasion into sg very bad with soc.services and I become very creful whom to share it. We have also got 2 other sons who "suffered and missed" a lot due to autism but at the end of the day I have got the least problem with him and more with the other ones.I mean not serious but just usual problems. so chin up!!!! All the best Edith We also had a bad fall from stairs but other kids have even more falls /I had myself when a baby fall from a big table when changed/ but they have no asd. So I do not think fall can cause. All the parents feel guilty if their child has got a problem but it is coming and going.....I mean the guilt..... Edith

Hi Joanne, It took me a good 10 years probably until my feelings were controversial and the same sometimes you say. With time we have had small and big victories and son is now 23 and my resentment has just gone and I am able to really love him although it does not mean that I am not angry sometimes. The most difficulty for me was that I could not share or did not dare to share my feelings as it went on one occasion into sg very bad with soc.services and I become very creful whom to share it. We have also got 2 other sons who "suffered and missed" a lot due to autism but at the end of the day I have got the least problem with him and more with the other ones.I mean not serious but just usual problems. so chin up!!!! All the best Edith We also had a bad fall from stairs but other kids have even more falls /I had myself when a baby fall from a big table when changed/ but they have no asd. So I do not think fall can cause. All the parents feel guilty if their child has got a problem but it is coming and going.....I mean the guilt..... Edith

If you have a reliable bucher you can ask for a bigger amount of gluten,additive,milk free sausage or burgers too.He will make that for you at least our does. Edith

Phil just buy chicken pieces and /flour,eggs,breadcrums or use flour and batter/ and save it fried in freezer if there are no nuggets. Edith Do you use rice noodles from Chinese shops?Lots of different pastaa made with rice flour or bean flour ,different shapes too and cheaper than Sainsbury`s or Tescos. I do the same big amount with bolognese sauce and put to small containers and ready 3-4 portions for his pasta. If I can help do write. My son is on dairy and glutenfree since the age of 12 and he is 23 so there is practice here but when I started it was hell as I spent so much time and lots of things were not available. Edith

Yes TESCO has glutenfree breadcrumbs but I use batter /egg,flour and beer for frying fish nice with chicken too.First meat goes in flour then to dense batter and in hot oil fried. If you want really crispy use potatoe flour but take care to fry it a bit slowly as it is getting crispy and the meat might still not done. I always do a big amount and once fried and cooled I put it into freezer bags and I use for 3-4 other occations too. Beer will not contain alcohol as it evaporates when frying. You can make batter with soyamilk too. At least you see what your son is eating and he might prefer pure meat from sg ground. If in hurry you can just put spices and flour on any meat and fry it. If bredcrumb is available then put any kind meatpieces flour,egg then breadcrumb and fry /put salt in eggs/ Good luck. If anyone needs other simple spongecake or muffin or apple pie pastry recepee do write.Simple and goes again into freezer. Good cakes with or without fillings and a lot cheaper and no additives. Good luck Edith :

Dear Ian, I would like to help but do not know how to contact you do not know what is you PM address or whatever. Edith

Dear Blp, I mean just read what you can about it and if you can get hold of the Lovaas viodeo tape.It has helped me to handle the aggressive and distructive behavior certainly. The job was quite tiring as there were 1-1.5 hours fights when son followed me saying "let him do it" I mean what he wanted to do eg.soiling carpets or furnitures,throwing the cat into the small pond etc and I had to resist and reapeating the 1-3 word instruction that "no jam on the carpet" he said jam on the carpet and we had this conv up to one hour at the beginning /very exhausting to see my child cry and his tantrums/ but the time was then reduced after a month keeping up /WHEN I COULD!!/ and he still tris sometimes but as a result to cut out his disruptive behavior he has got now lots of activitioes he likes and I just say."Right if you do not pick up the books I will not bake the cake with you" or "no picking up books no cake ,sorry. But I have to repeat this info until it thinks in him .Nowdays it 2-5 minutes because he knows he will not get what he wants and I try not to alter my intenntion and he has klearnt.Sometimes he has a few tears sometimes I do have but it less and less and lots of more fun for him and his quality of life is very good with his severe lDs. He goes to multygym ,swimming,trampoline club /normal/ sculling on river /normal/ /I mean with n"normal" professinal groups and with one to one help as he tries his "no" tricks on other people too so I am there most of the times and we have already got onen to one whom I was training and they do not give in. If you want to contact me on e-mail or phone just write and if others interested do so. Best wishes Edith

Dear Diana, Lovely story happy to read it. There will be lots of things in the future that you will really enjoy in your son which he would not have if he was not asperger spectrum. Difficulties too of course. best wishes Edith

Thank you very much lisac, We also have the same problem that son cannot communicate only very little so he cannot tell us how he is or how he is feeling. Her the adult medical team is a nonsense and I feel very bad that as an adult witl Learning diffs we have no other choice. What does your son do during the day? Is he still at home with you?? Please do keep in touch.OK Thanks for help Edith and son

Hi Blp, My son was around 12 when we started behavioral therapy /Lovaas/ on our own as LA or LE were not providing any finances. Look for info among treatments for autism or sg similar. For us it has worked although my son has got severe learning difficulties too. The outcome that I have got a well behaved still autistic 23 year old but his quality of life is very good as he can take part in lots of activities,gym,swimming,cooking ,woodwork etc as he is quiet and "behaves" although he needs one to one but there is no problem with tantrums or aerias like this. If you want do contact. All the best Edith

I have found them very very hard.As I still find each assessment very painful and exhausting.My son is 22 and we had a consultant from adult team and he sai he has never come across somebody who would find a weekly /for 3 months/ assessment painful as people are getting used to all this as time is passsing. I sai definitely not in my case and maybe others do not dare to complain or express their feelings /as I also tried to be patient for 3 months/ and I also asked why they do not ask all medical nites from childrens team.The answer is that "maybe they are mistaken or maybe it is not proper...../ Anyway with DLA it was very painful and at that time Mencap was really helpful and a friend who has autistic child but otherwise I also was on the point of giving it up. Lots of courage and patient to you !! Edith

Dear Canopus, No but the result is that we do not talk at all.My parents wanted to see my other children but they do not want anything with my autistic son.I tried my best for 18 years with no success but humiliation for me and son/they say I am not normal he should be in an institution/ and I do not visit them anymore. It is paiful. All the best Edith

Dear Lisac, Yes I think I have a few questions. How much is the dose?Who prescribes it?I am not happy with LDP Health Team at all but we were told that we belong there and people with learning disability cannot visit adult pshichiatry. Does you son is Asperger or Autism? What advantages and disadvantages of risperdal do you experience?Did you interrupt /as you say on and off/ and how often you interrupted? How often didi you have bloodtests and other medic exams?Can your son tell what the medication does for him? I think at the moment these questions are enough for you. I really appreciate your answers. Thanks allthe best Edith

Very good conclusion......and prenatal test against all costly illnesses and on the people who "do not fit in"........./ I wonder what prenatal damage affected the article writer??? Edith

Dear Kathryn, Thanks for this very good annswer to this very complex topic.So should we terminate the sick elderly or cancer patients or everybody who is not perfect according to sys who defibne what perfect is?? Best Edith