Hi, my name is Edward and I'm 24 years old. Around a year ago whilst feeling depressed I started looking for help, so I went to my favorite 'information gathering' resource - the Internet!
Whilst reading stories of others about their depression and possible remedies I came across Asperger's syndrome for the first time. Oh my what a shock, from reading the symptoms of this condition it looked as if someone was describing me! This was a huge revelation, that I wasn't just 'shy', 'weird' or 'geeky', I did actually fit in somewhere and there are others like me, it felt quite overwhealming in fact.
When a child and growing up I was painfully shy and only ever had one or two friends at school. I was bullied for being so quiet. I was scared of the sounds of lorries when they apply brakes, I couldn't stand the feeling of grape skin on my teeth or the sound a plate makes when placed on a table with crumbs (lol!) I used to hate going to Fireworks shows as the noise was so painful!
I have had 'special interests' ranging from sticks, crystals, 5p coins, star wars, martial arts, juggling, astral projection, weightlifting, nutrition and stock trading. People have always told me to 'smile' or 'cheer up' when I'm feeling fine inside. I have been in lots of trouble in the past from saying the wrong things or being rude without meaning it. My friends use to call me 'literal Ed' as I took everything literally.
I have never had a girlfriend, I am attracted to girls, however most of the time I'm just not that concerned with being in a relationship, though I would like one. I am (usually) happy by myself and my hobbies interest me more than people do, however I do have some good close friends for which I am very grateful for - I could not do without human contact. I do want to make new friends or have a girlfriend but find it difficult to initiate friendships, I also only tend to get on with people similar to me who think in logical ways.
Fast forward to today and I'm proud to say I am totally different to 5 years ago or even 1 year ago, my confidence has increased a lot but I still feel very different to others. My current job has helped a lot and it's probably no suprise that I work as a technical support analyst, very logical!
Woah this is getting way to long, anway (if you have read this far!), when I first found out about Asperger's I made an appointment with my GP who said he would refer me to a specialist. A few weeks later I recieved a letter along the lines of "all the local mental health centers don't cater for Asperger's Syndrome". I was dissapointed but pretty much left it at that and thought I'd just forget about the whole thing. Now however, I want to get a diagnosis, I am 99.9% certain I have this and I would like to tell my family. Unfortunately, I feel they won't take me seriously unless I have a diagnosis. At the moment I haven't discussed it at all, only a few close friends know.
So my question is, is it worth going back and seeing another GP or should I get a private diagnosis and how much does that cost?
I hope someone found my story interesting as thats why I wrote it.