indiscreet
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Posts posted by indiscreet
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(The term "Aspergic" is a made-up word and an unsatisfactory one, etymologically. I hope it never makes it into the dictionary. "Aspie", on the other hand, doesn't pretend to follow any etymological rules).
That's correct - I made it up! I still - personally - prefer it, though, to 'aspie'
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'Aspie' can be used in a friendly, affectionate way but I'd rather someone described me as "She has Asperger's" rather than "She's an aspie."
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I agree with Science Geek, I find 'aspie' and 'autie' childish. Nothing wrong with 'autistic' - and why not 'aspergic' for AS?
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I scored 11 and have male hands. I'm ambidextrous.
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If someone changes their hairstyle - or worse, hair colour - I'm lost. It was extremely awkward when I taught and I upset so many children when I didn't recognize them outside the classroom - or inside it come to that.
I'm good, though, at remembering clothes, and voices and the way people walk.
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"As The National Autistic Society (NAS) reaches its 50th birthday, there is growing recognition that the first generation of people diagnosed with autism in childhood are now reaching middle age and there are also mature adults being diagnosed for the first time."
I get the feeling from this statement that "and there are also mature adults being diagnosed from the first time" has been, as it were, tacked on - almost as an afterthought.
The problems experienced by those who were diagnosed as children and have passed through full-time education into the adult world are different from those who went through a considerable period of their life undiagnosed and had to find ways of achieving anywhere near a 'normal' life. This is true even if - on the surface - they've had work colleagues and have found a partner who accepted their oddities, because the problems of AS don't disappear. For those who have never managed a close relationship then after retirement the future can be very bleak.
The irony is that the more successful one has been in faking/acting NT behaviour the less likely it is that one will be seen as someone who needs support. The stress of successfully keeping up this facade and the price paid in the development of other illnesses is something 'professionals' can't seem to understand.
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The following comes from the latest NAS newsletter and I thought it might be worth reproducing it on this thread. I'll be interested to know what others think:-
"Autism in Maturity is a new project to support adults with autism (including Asperger syndrome) as they move into middle and older age.
As The National Autistic Society (NAS) reaches its 50th birthday, there is growing recognition that the first generation of people diagnosed with autism in childhood are now reaching middle age and there are also mature adults being diagnosed for the first time.
Autism-specific services that have tended to concentrate more on the needs of children and younger adults are now faced with the challenge of extending their reach to cover older adults. But there is little research available to guide services in recognising changing needs, or how best to respond to them. Without guidance, adults with autism may not receive the level of services to which they are entitled.
The Autism in Maturity project aims to:
gather together and define the key issues for, and needs of, people with autism as they grow older (particularly as they pass through middle age and into old age) provide information and resources for adults with autism and their siblings provide information and resources for professionals develop an advocacy service model for adults with autism that can be used across the UK create an online support system for brothers and sisters of older people with autism raise awareness of the particular needs of people with autism as they get older and develop the same age-related conditions as the rest of the population look at how services can be developed to meet the needs of older adults with autism.
At the moment, the project is in its infancy. There is still a lot of research to be undertaken, and work to be done.
However, we will be adding more and more information for adults with autism to this web area www.autism.org.uk/maturity as it becomes available. This information will also be of relevance to siblings who may support their older brother or sister with autism.
We will also be collecting case studies and useful resources.
If you would like information and advice about autism and related issues, please call our Autism Helpline on 0808 800 4104 (open Monday-Friday, 10am-4pm). Calls are free from landlines and most mobiles."
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Canopus I have looked back 4 or 5 years and things have changed in many ways both on the forum and in respect to ASD diagnosis in general in respect to the make up of the community but not in attitudes in many areas.
What I find really frustrating is that the diagnosis of adults with for example Asberger's simply isn't being used in a constructive way at all. Without doubt the adult Aspie population will present a very mixed picture. But within that adult community there are I believe many success stories of people with AS who have gone through tremendously difficult experiences and have come through those so much wiser. There are also many individuals I believe who have achieved many amazing things both by using the condition and by battling against it often all at the same time. I would have thought many such as the NAS would have seen the growth in adult diagnosis as a massive gift and an opportunity to make significant strides forwards in respect to information, strategies and highlighting issues.
What I see however is a culture which is locked into children, teenagers and now is moving into the early twenties range. Without sounding disrespectful to individuals or parents of individuals in those range AS is a developmental condition. As a result I believe it took me untill my mid to late twenties to really develop the levels of maturity to reflect on my life in a constructive and positive way to draw quality conclusions. Within the current climate it feels as if we will have to wait another eight or ten years before any of those conclusions even start to become part of mainstream thinking when in reality there are fully loaded trees just ripe with fruit ready to be picked.
The problem with the NAS is they seem precocupied with growing seedlings as their core focus rather than take the opportunites offered of a potentially bountiful harvest. In doing so they simply reinforce cliches and seem to feed off a constant cycle of confused parents who are coming to issues for a first time. In contrast individuals who have years and years of experience are completely ignored by them both in terms of needing support and importantly in offering support in the development of knowledge and ideas. As such we have a culture of 20 year olds who think they are experts because they feel they are at the leading edge of AS development or professional who do not have the condition and have a knowledge based on training which really didn't look beyond adolescence as such they are completely patronising.
I find myself in total agreeament with everything you say in this post. I can't understand why there seems to be no interest in adults who have received a late diagnosis. These are the people who have managed to lead a (relatively) successful life by finding their own ways of dealing with many of problems faced by those with AS. Surely researching into how this has worked would be invaluable in helping younger people.
Maybe part of the problem is the sceptism with which some professionals regard adult diagnoses. There is also the fact that parents - naturally enough - want to believe that with all the support and 'treatment' available their children will be able to move comfortably in the NT world; hearing about the continuing problems/difficulties adults suffer isn't what they wish to hear.
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I've completed the questionnaire.
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I have enjoyed reading some of these comments and agree with most of what has been said. I wonder though when we say the "label" may have changed things with regards to using it as an excuse for negative,does this not still apply once diagnosed as an adult? Is it not possible to look back and say "oh I must have done X cause of my autism" which is the same thing as making excuses when young IMO.
After I received my dx I was able to look back and see that many of the things I found difficult to do/made me miserable were caused by my AS and this was a comfort; If I'd already received a dx when young I might just not have made the effort to be 'normal'.
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I'm happier in autumn because I hate really hot weather. Also my sun-intolerence means I have to avoid it as much as possible so when autumn comes I can relax.
What I don't like about this time of year is dark mornings.
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It's impossible to say what difference a diagnosis as a child would have made to me. It would have meant that I wouldn't have had to carry the burden of being 'different' and blaming myself for it but against that I might have fought less hard to cope in an NT world. I might have sat back and said "I can't do that because I have AS" and if I had received financial support I might not have struggled to work for a living. I just don't know.
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...im just putting on a brave face and dealing with it.
Nothing wrong with that AS; it's good to be positive and optimistic but it's worth remembering that many people come on boards like this because they have problems that are difficult to deal with in the 'real world' and want comfort, help and support from people experiencing the same difficulties.
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Just to return to the title of this thread - "Why do Aspies threaten Suicide when highly stressed" - is that actually the case - or is it used in certain cases in the hope that the law will take a more sympathetic line with some accused of a criminal act?
Many people suffer high stress/depression and threaten suicide in the NT world. I wonder if there are any figures to show that it's more prevalent amongst those on the spectrum?
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If I have a concern about the ASD community as a whole and organisations such as the NAS the focus seems to be very much pre 18 and is now just starting to face up to pre 24 as the 'core' community grows. Whilst that viewpoint might be valid it is from but one perspective and it is not reflective of the bigger picture, the 'fringe' is getting bigger and bigger by the day. I suspect many of the older members might find it quite hard to read posts from parents about the nature of core provision their 8 year old is getting at school and issues they are facing because things are not as how they would want them. I also have an 8 year old an might feel the same way. But I would say to those parental members, for many of us we get nothing or very little. For some of the younger adults on the forum bear in mind life will not be the same forever, you likewise get core support but it will not last. Many of us have to deal with this condition and it does feel like living on the 'fringe'.[/color][/font][/size]
That is so true but it's something that doesn't get addressed. At least those who were diagnosed when young had the benefit of that 'core support' but those of us diagnosed in adulthood get nothing - just an encouraging smile and the words "But you've done so well in dealing with the condition, no one would know you have AS." Maybe, but because I've learned to act/behave 'normally' doesn't mean that life in many ways remains a constant struggle.
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I'm naturally short-sighted. I wore contacts for years but after having operations for cataracts I need neither spectacles nor contacts.
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"Can one ever be trully selfless???"
If you risk your life (or serious injury) to help someone else then I would say "yes" to that question. Otherwise I think it's often a case of wanting to 'feel good'.
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"That, of course, begs the question of why we need to change the criteria at all."
That's the crux of matter. Maybe I'm just being my normal paranoid self but I wonder whether the number of those reaching adulthood before the condition was recognized, and who are now asking to be tested, is causing concern that a positive diagnosis might lead to their asking for financial or other support.
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I also hate showers and always use the bath for preferance. I go to a hairdresser for a wash and blow-dry each week but when he's on holiday I manage as best I can - but I'm not a happy aspie.
Also, I didn't like being forced to go to the swimming pool when I was young. I never could learn to swim and now I'm an adult I won't go anywhere near one.
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Thank you, this is a real find, but I'll have to digest it in small doses since it prints out as 36 A4 pages.
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... I think there's too many people who just moan moan moan - and some of us - yes I mean myself too - are actually trying to change, to learn, to improve, to have a life and it's damn difficult to even begin those discussions when they get overshadowed and buried beneath a load of stuff that has little use whatsoever. I have nothing against people having a moan - it can be healthy - but a lot of these moans are just replied to with things like "yeah but" and you know that the person who posted the thing aint listening to the thoughtful and constructive replies that they receive.
You're right, of course, but sites like this are likely to attract people who have problems and aren't able to discuss them with professional support, or find that support inadequate and it's a fact that when a person is depressed, or desperate, they will appear to dismiss any suggestions on how to improve things. That's why I personally believe that it would be better to have aseparate section where those, like you, who want to change, learn and improve can interact with likeminded people.
I think some of the older members (than me) with AS could teach people like me one hell of a lot - and I want to learn, I'm dying to learn, I want to learn so much that I could explode with the energy that drives me inside to learn, I could read what certain people say all day long every day for the rest of my life if it meant that I can continue to learn. I look at people older than me and I see hope and I see a chance of different things in my life - but how the hell can that happen when so many other people are just selfish?
Again, that's true but do a substantial number of other posters feel the way you do? Too many have made it clear that they don't believe that adult diagnosis is a true diagnosis and that the parameters have been stretched unrealistically to include those people. Far from learning from us they are dismissive and resent any help we may receive as a result of diagnosis.
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The problem seems to be that some consultant psychiatrists don't accept that there is such a thing as adult autism, so their answer is liable to be the one you received.
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"Perhaps we could all do with a reminder as to what this forum is for and what it sets out to do? Is there a mission statement anywhere?" (robert 7111A)
I've always assumed that the forum was set up in the days before adult autism was recognized and that it's purpose was for parents to get advice/comfort from others with the same problems - and it's format hasn't changed in a way that would allow posters to concentrate on different interests and concerns.
"One trait of my AS is a total lack of empathy, and at times I just want to say to people "get on with it" or "I am fed up of hearing about your kids"" (SidiousUK)
Me too - although I haven't had the courage to say it.
I don't think it works to assume a cosy situation where we are all friends and willing to ask for and/or give advice on situations that we ourselves don't experience. Imagine that we could all meet up in real life. I'd put money on it that people would get into individual groups and talk about shared interests and concerns rather than all mix together - except, maybe, when the refreshments arrived.
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... I often feel that the forum is way too individualistic. There is very little debate which happens in general terms and I would be interested to know if when people feel they have an issue in their lives how many of them fistly do a search to see what has previously been said, I suspect very few.
I believe a big part of the problem is that, instead of just introducing themselves briefly after registering most newcomers use that post to go into details about their circumstances/problems, without, as you say, doing a search to see what has been said previously by others with like concerns.
I suspect what happens is they register take a look for a day and see people throwing up stuff mainly about themselves and feel ok I will do the same. As a result the majority of posts start out from very emotive positions and it takes time to calm them down.
I think this is maybe because the format of the sub-divisions is too loose here compared with sites like Wrong Planet and Aspies Central. OK, they are much larger than this one but they make it easy for people to find a relevant section and join an existing thread.
On AC there is a "Members only" section where one can discuss 'adult' matters and registration is required to join this, while on WP there are two clearly marked sections - one for those 18+ and the other for those over 30. There is nothing to stop others reading the posts but presumably they do so at their own risk.
Aspie/Autie usage
in Beyond Adolescence
Posted · Report reply
I hadn't come across it anywhere else on the internet so thought it was my invention - but obviously not.