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theo

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Posts posted by theo

  1. Posted · Report reply

    Thanks for your response baddad.

     

    You're quite right - that was a pretty rubbish analogy. As usual I open my mouth without thinking things through. But you really didn't need to put so much effort into breaking down the analogy.

     

    You asked me why a diagnosis matters?

     

    I grew up being labelled bad, naughty, difficult, unco-operative, diffident, stubborn by my parents and teachers alike. I was the freak in the class, the one everyone shunned. Those labels and experiences don't just disappear in adult life. They continue to affect every aspects of one's life.

     

    I am the the child who ran away from school from age 5 becuase I couldn't bear to be around other children. If I was 5 today hopefully my parents and or teachers would realise that I had a big problem - I wasn't just being naughty.

     

    I have no advocate - perhaps the reason I am seeking a diagnosis is to find a different label - to find some dignity and self respect in my future life.

     

    My son was diagnosed with Tourettes Syndrome in his late twenties. As with aspegergers there's no cure. That diagnosis has enabled him to understand why he behaves in certain ways, to try and recognise and adapt his behaviour. Perhaps more importantly it has enabled his long-suffering wife to understand him. She has stuck by him though thick and thin. They now have 2 children and the future may not be entirely rosey but it's undoubtedly better than before the diagnosis.

     

    A question - if I do suffer from Aspergers is it possible it could be passed on to my grandchildren?

  2. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Theo - I think your analogy of a broken arm is a little too simplistic, because a broken arm is a simple cause and effect equation, which autism isn't, and it's by and large the same effect in everyone.

     

    A better analogy would be someone who's limping, for which there could be a thousand and one valid explanations ranging from a blister to a broken leg. It would not be appropriate or helpful to label everyone with a limp with either of those 'causes' you have to have a closer look. And it could turn out that the patient has a broken leg AND a blister!

     

    The fact that you think autism 'fits' isn't a qualified opinion, unless you are also qualified (have enough knowledge) to reasonably rule out every other alternative and enough insight/emotional distance to be able to apply that knowledge non-subjectively to yourself.

     

    None of which, of course, is to say that you couldn't be autistic, but just because you think it fits isn't enough of a reason for any professional to confirm your 'home' diagnosis, and it wouldn't really mean anything if, purely on that basis, they did.

    The things you've mentioned in your post (and I'm sure that's not the full details, but I'm just making a point with what you have posted) are in no way exclusive to autism - very few couples these days don't struggle with relationships (and I suspect many couples from other eras did too, but just put up with it on an 'I've made my bed' sort of basis that doesn't apply these days), and social unease, shyness, etc are equally represented among the 'NT' population, just as personality traits and/or as a result of wider social influences like family, upbringing, life-events, etc etc.

     

    What do you think you would gain from a diagnosis? Do you think it would make any difference to how you live your life? What would it/ you change? Having considered that, if there are positives to be gained from thinking/acting/behaving differently or changing aspects of your life, what's to stop you doing them anyway?

     

    In the simplest terms, a dx of Autism is an irrelevency in many ways - it wouldn't change a single thing about who you are or who you have been for the past 61 years. That person is the person you have got to accept/understand, and he's the same person with or without a dx.

     

    I hope you'll appreciate I'm not saying your 'wrong' in your suspicions that you might be on the spectrum and I'm not saying you would be wrong to look into that possibility. I just agree, to a certain extent, with the person you spoke to which is that you're the sum of your parts - a lifetime of experiences - and that it would probably be very difficult to unravel what bit goes where (as it were) and why.

     

    HTH

     

    L&P

     

    BD

  3. Posted · Report reply

    could you describe what things happened to you or you had trouble with that made you ask for a chat with the lady mentioned?

     

    Thanks for your response. I only recently found about the symptons of aspergers - and I was shocked at the number of things that I have in common with this syndrome. Like possibly many people around my age group there was no such thing as aspergers when I was growing up in the 50's. Having spent my life struggling with relationships, avoiding social interaction, and obsessively "making things" for no other reason than I need to, I feel that perhaps there maybe an answer as to why I feel so isolated and different.

  4. Posted · Report reply

    I am 61, and have recently had a preliminary assessment. I was mentally prepared for dismissal of my suggestion of aspergers. I was pleasantly surprised at the empathy and kindness of the person who assessed me. But what was clear from the outset was that she wanted me to forget any sort of label and go back to square one. Very professional, I cannot argue with that. Her conclusion after listening and talking to me for just over an hour was that my history was such that it was impossible to ever assess if I had aspergers - there were too many other factors involved. That is "the chicken or egg, which came first?" question.

     

    Is there anyone reading this who feels like me? - regardless of what any professional says or does not say, I know what I feel and have experienced throughout my life. It's like I've turned up with a broken arm and been told I'm mistaken, I'm not a doctor so how could I know .............. something to do with the pain?

     

    Thanks for reading this. Any feedback gratefully received.

  5. Posted · Report reply

    Hello! I'm new (not an officially diagnosed aspie) What you write is almost word for word how I would introduce myself. I'm 61 and a few weeks ago I found out about aspergers for the first time, purely by chance listening to a radio programme. I've started the gruelling process of trying for an assessment ...... I will post updates of my progess or lack of - this site is so empowering - it's such a relief to know that there are kindred spirits.

    Monica X

  7. Posted · Report reply

    I am 61 ..... too late for an assessment and diagnosis? It is only recently that I have found out about aspergers ...... and all of a sudden the last 61 years fall into place, my personal tragedy of errors makes sense.

     

    My GP, needless to say, was not empathetic when I broached the subject with him...... "almost impossible to diagnose, and since there is no cure there is little point pursuing the matter". He has refered me for a general mental health assessment, but warned me it would be unwise to mention aspergers. It is up to the assessor to make a decision and very unlikely that I will be referred on.

     

    Yes, there may be no cure, what has happened in the past can not be changed, and okay at 61 I don't have my whole life ahead of me. Diagnosis matters to me ... perhaps I will stop despising the person I am, perhaps I will accept that it is not my fault that I am different.

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