Hi everyone, I'm completely new to this forum and this whole issue tbh. My son is nearly 6yrs and I think he's been showing signs of "something" from a very young age and have raised it with health visitors and family over the years but they all think I'm being paranoid. Lots of things he did/does and a gut feeling that 'something' isn't quite right - especially when I looked at other children (cousins/friends' children etc). I try my best not to compare him to his younger sister as they are different people/sex but it's becoming even more obvious to me and family now.
Initially it was him rocking all the time, then over time I realised this habit was replaced with blinking/sniffing/chewing clothes (all of which he still does at different times). I became really concerned when he started to scream hysterically at loud noises when he started nursery at our local school (i.e. drilling and motorbikes) - the drilling has always been an issue but not much DIY happens in our house so didn't pick up on it initially! However, the motorbike reaction was very obvious indeed. He absolutely loves cars/bikes but if a loud one came along the road, he would run away screaming and loud aeroplanes also affected him. He has learnt to deal with these much better now which is good and tends to put his hands over his ears.
He's always been forward with learning new things but was behind on his speech in terms of explaining things and is still very behind on this now - we've learnt to put the pieces of information together to make out what he's telling us and never really thought much of it. He finds school easy but he's very sensitive and will only play with certain people (those who like cars or football) and he has always been very anal with things (not sure if that's the right word) - lining cars up facing the right way and would cry hysterically if moved; grouped cars (or anything!) into colours; obsessed with diff things over the yrs (initially car makes/models and knew them all by 2yrs recognising the badges and then the shape of the car; then colours (using cars); then letters & numbers (using number plates) and then puzzles). He still shows signs of obsession now but at the moment it helps him a little (i.e. learning to read and add/multiply) - he often races ahead with these new subjects and once he's learnt them, he will go onto the next thing. I can deal with his weird ways and him not liking to play with anyone other than his close friends (who he's known since birth) and his lack of confidence but the thing which I am finding unbearable is the CONSTANT crying and more recently, his bad behaviour during school hols. He cries hysterically like someone has cut his leg off and it's because something hasn't gone his way or you tell him to stop playing the DS or something (he used to do it at school if he couldn't do his zip up). He acts like a 2 year old at the age of 6 with the crying and it's more obvious with things that just don't go the way he wants/expected!! If he tries to score a goal at football and it doesn't go in, he will cry in the middle of the pitch like he's hurt! He has said that he doesn't know why he does it and can't stop it or control the crying once it starts. It's ruining the hobbies which he REALLY enjoys and which are helping his confidence issues. And in the last year I have noticed that once school term is over, his behaviour is absolutely awful - like he's a completely different child. Hurting his younger sister or doing things which he knows aren't allowed in the house and WILL NOT listen to me, it gets to the point where he is sent to bed because I don't know how to deal with it - it's not like him at all. He has recently started laughing when he's being naughty too - I'm not sure if this is his way to stop the crying!
I know children have more energy if they're not at school but he can go from being really caring to his sister to hurting her and just doesn't understand/thinks it is okay (until it is done to him!). He has no imagination which doesn't help as my daughter is full of it so they do find it hard to play together. He is VERY competitive which doesn't help either! There are lots of other Autistic traits too. But one thing he NEVER EVER does is get angry.
To be honest, I'm hoping it isn't Aspergers/Autism (as every parent does) but I need help understanding the crying and bad behaviour so I can help him as I don't know how his brain is working at the moment. I have spoken with the school who said they have no probs with him in school (which they wouldn't because they have set routine which never changes) but they said they would do internal assessment ... but they haven't. Went to drs who said it was very unlikely that he has aspergers/autism because his communication skills aren't that bad and he has friends in school but she asked him a few questions anyway (and he started chewing his sleeve straight away) - one of the questions was "how many children are in your class at school" and his answer was "well one might be on holiday, one might be ill and one might be in" so she asked the question again and his reply was "well if one is away then there are 29" - she looked at me oddly at that point and gave me a CAST questionnaire to complete - he got 21 on that and my understanding is that above 15 means referral to psychologist so I'm waiting to hear back from Dr at moment.
Does anyone else have problems with their child crying all of the time and bad behaviour during school holidays - any advice would be really appreciated. His dad shouts at him when he cries and I don't think it helps at all but he just doesn't understand why he's the only child we know like it.
Also, if anyone can tell me the basic process which will happen, I would be really grateful.
Sorry to have rambled and thanks very much for reading.
