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Posts posted by rufusrufus

  1. Just thought I'd share this - Rudy Simone is going to be in the UK in the next few weeks - I'm going to her event in Manchester and I'm really excited :) The ticket prices weren't too bad, and there's a reduced rate for those on low incomes.

    Here's a link to her website's calender, you can follow the links to book tickets and / or get more information:




    I'm not on commission or anything, just thought I'd share to see if anyone else is interested :)

    Ruth :)

  2. I know, it is frustrating to not know what's going on in your own body and brain :( I think that as Aspies we do tend to respond more strongly to things than maybe an NT person would, so we are probably more prone to mood swings, because things affect us more. I'm not a doctor though, I think it's a great idea to talk to your NAS lady about it. Best of luck with it :)

  3. Hmm, I was assessed twice for bipolar disorder a few years ago but was told that my "highs" weren't extreme enough or long-enough lasting to warrant bipolar disorder, only mood swings. That was pre-diagnosis though, and I was already jacked up on strong anti-depressants which were probably messing up my bodily chemistry anyway. Ho hum. I'm drug free now :)

  4. rufusrufus, not to steel the thread from CE3K, but this reminds me of a time when I thought this may be the problem with my son not knowing when he really need to go...I also thought they may be a problem with the wiring system between his head and his stomach, maybe the stomach not recognising the need to go or the head not getting the message quick enough...I talked to my sons peadiatrician aswell as any other professionals who would listen but they looked at me with that look that says, 'hmmm...an over protective mum'...we're the specialists and shes telling us...and it always came back to one diagnosis....constipation!...why they wouldn't even consider this may be the case, I still have trouble understanding...


    That's so frustrating and shows lack of knowledge and understanding on their part. Unfortunately I hear this time and again of parents being told "we're the professionals, we know best". I think there is a tendency on the part of medical professionals to want to explain away autistic symptoms in an NT way, without recognising that autism isn't just in the brain, it affects the whole body. Therefore they hear "toileting problems" and think "physical cause, most likely of which is constipation" rather than "possible sensory processing / integration / sensory aversion / sensitivity etc". It just ends up in a situation where professionals become the enemy of the parents and can then offer very little assistance :(

  5. I also remember reading Donna Williams saying that she doesn't feel "I need to go to the toilet" the same way most NT people do. She will get a "feeling" in her tummy and have to think "Could this be hunger? Do I need to eat? Could it be I need the toilet? Do I have stomach ache, am I going to be sick?" - there doesn't seem to be much differentiation between the sensations for her. This could cause problems with toileting - not recognising that feeling? I don't know :s

  6. Aww! He sounds amazing! I agree, there's no such thing as "normal" really, but people still try to fill our heads with a silly idea of what could be classed as "normal", or "typical". The irony is that if someone fulfilled every possible definition of "normality" they'd probably be considered weird! :)

  7. My Mum still talks to me like I'm a kid a lot of the time, I don't think she means to be insulting at all, but I'm the youngest and she still sees me as "her baby". I think parents often want to protect us, so infantize us to justify in their own minds the higher levels of care we need. Maybe they think they have to put things in "simple" terms so we understand? I don't know. I've always talked like a grown up, and always think I understand what's going on, but at the weekend Mum said "You can have ice cream for dessert if you fancy it, but can you use one of the tubs that's already open please?" - ok, message received and understood, she's trying to finish up leftovers. But I didn't have any because I didn't fancy any of the flavours that had been opened. She later asked why I didn't eat the yummy coconut flavour that was in an individual sized tub..... "Well, it wasn't open, and you said to only eat the open ones". Well it wouldn't have been open, because there was only one portion in it, so it would have been opened and finished and not in the freezer any more! Typical example of Aspie literal thinking though, right? Before my diagnosis I would have berated myself for being "stupid" - now I understand that my mind works like that! :) Anyway, I might have gone off topic a bit, sorry :)

  8. *tired bless them both was just excited see them but will see them both in the morning!


    Really glad your parents got home safely, it was very sweet of you to buy your Mum flowers :) I'm sure they're really proud of you, well done! :) If I was in your position I would write myself a little note that says "I can be really proud of myself because I survived their going away" to remind me in the future of what I've achieved - I tend to remember the negative experiences easily, but forget the positive things I should remember! :)

  9. It is the feminine form of the French adjective for wind energy, as in energie aeolienne, parc aeolien [wind farm]. I wasn't aware of "une aeolienne" being used on its own to mean a wind turbine. The spelling is actually Quebecois, as I first came across the word via a Canadian environmental newsgroup - French French omits the initial A.


    Ah, that's so interesting, thank-you :) The area in which my parents have their house has a very distinct local "patois" (spelling?), so their use of the word might not be strictly conventional! :)

  10. An me gusta mucho el cochina de espanola, el paella este me favourita.


    translation, Oh i really like Spanish food and paella is my favourite.

    i learnt Spanish at school and i really enjoyed speaking the language. i am considering

    a Spanish speaking course but im unsure which level im at. i got a grade B in Spanish

    at school but that was many years ago.


    I've started with a "First Steps" course and am now moving onto the "Year One" course. I'm enjoying the language, it is just like breaking a code, and it's so satisfying, but the social interaction is draining. Still, I started it as a challenge to myself, and it's definitely that! I'm going to try to stick with it as long as possible, but won't beat myself up too much if it's too much to cope with after a while - luckily I only have to pay the admin fee as I'm in the Work-Related Activity Group of ESA. :)

  11. I really struggled learning to drive - mainly because I hate starting anything new (although this was pre-diagnosis) - sitting in a driving seat felt so foreign to me. I also found it really difficult to co-ordinate doing lots of things at once (possible dyspraxia?). My instructor was really good though, endlessly patient, even when I'd burst into tears and he'd have to drive me home. The main thing for me though was just how tired it made me. I started out having 2hr lessons, but ended up doing more frequent 1hr lessons instead, which was much better. My instructor was really laid back and flexible with when and where we did the lessons too, sometimes he'd pick me up from my 6th form and I'd drive home - awesome - I saved the bus fare! :D It took me 3 attempts to pass the practical, but passed the theory first time (theoretical anything is my strong suit!). Oh, and spatial awareness - definitely not my forte, even when it's just my own body, let alone being in a big metal crate, manouvering around other big metal crates, which are also moving! Nightmare. I got there eventually though. It took about a year after I passed my test before I really started to enjoy driving, and now I can't afford a car I do miss it - suffering with depression and anxiety, being house-bound at intervals, having a car definitely made braving the big wide world much easier. My instructor also taught someone with severe dyspraxia to drive before he taught me, and she passed - he was so proud of her. :) He did say that there was a LOT of repitition in their lessons though, but that's what she needed, so that's what he did. :)

  12. Yes, I feel loved by a small number of people: my parents (although I don't think my Dad loves my diagnosis!), a friend or two, and my partner - he's been the most interesting one - he knew me before my diagnosis and says that my Aspie traits are many of the things he particularly loves about me, even when we weren't sure that it all added up to AS, for example my child-like enjoyment of silly things, (I got incredibly excited last week when I saw pumpkins in the shops for the first time! Lots of jumping around and hand clapping!), not being afraid to act the fool in public etc etc :) In general, people seem to like me, but it's not the real me, they like the "masked" version of myself, the one I have carefully honed to resemble someone vaguely neurotypical. At the same time though, I probably irritate and frustrate a lot of people, with all my strange ways. That makes me somewhat despondent, but I can't really be sad about it, because I don't really like a lot of people either! :D I like the idea of people, but in practice, my frustration tolerance levels are low :)

  13. I first read this a few years ago when I was part of an autism forum, and sooooo many people found it useful. In fact, my Mum mentioned it to me on Saturday when we were talking about my diagnosis, even though I was only diagnosed recently. I think there has to be some mourning for the child you thought you would have, and all the dreams and ambitions you have for that child, when if becomes apparent that you have a child who may not fulfil those things. But they could fulfil so many other things, things you never even contemplated! :) Another oft-used saying on the other forum was "welcome to the club that none of us wanted to join". I'm not sure if I entirely agree with this sentiment, but I certainly understand it. I would love to have a child, with or without ASC, but I wouldn't wish the heartache and pain of living with ASC on anyone. Anyway, Holland's awesome - my favourite flowers are tulips :)

  14. Hi there, not wanting to bombard you with terminology etc, but tip-toe walking etc may also be indicative of Sensory Processing Disorder, which is another common co-morbid with ASC's. Anyway, welcome to the forum :)


    Edit: My head's a bit muddled tonight, having just read "Sensory Integration Disorder" elsewhere on the forum, I'm not sure if that's what I meant, not "Sensory Processing Disorder"... in fact I'm not even sure I didn't just make that term up! :) I'm so sorry! Worth exploring, anyway :)

  15. Hi, I'm sure there are lots of people here who would be happy to share their stories with you if it would help to hear from adults who have aspergers. It's interesting that you never really guessed before. High functioning means that you have learned to hide your differences, sometimes or most of the time, everybody's different. You learn ways around your difficulties and precise ways of coping with the over stimulation and confusion you find around you in what seems to be a very strange world. Basically, the older you get, the better you get at it too so it'll more than likely be less obvious still as he grows up. Personally, my childhood, teenage years and early 20's were hard, trying to figure it all out and find my place in the world, social issues, obsessions, depression, anxiety, but now i'm really settled and am quite an expert at appearing the same as everyone else. I know some people with aspergers grow up as scientists or surgeons because of the high intelligence. I've never been good at keeping jobs to be honest, but i've measured my success in terms of happiness and stability. I have my own family and have a pretty normal life. My parents are really proud of me. Autism/aspergers isn't what i thought it would be either...all these years, i never knew that a person with autism was who i was...and i got on alright! It's actually amazing how normal everyone seems on this site. They seem normal because they ARE normal, just a different kind of normal-our normal!!! Smiles!


    I love this post so much, it toally sums up my life!!! :) Well, I don't have my own family, and my Dad is still struggling a little bit with accepting my diagnosis, but I know he loves ME, just not the label. We are normal, just a better kind of normal - I love that :)

    OP - best of luck with your son,I hope you find lots of help and support here :)

  16. I've looked after the house any number of times while my parents have swanned off on exotic holidays. The eternal lot of the 30-something sporadically employed dutiful daughter. :(

    That's a shame :( Just out of interest, is your username the French word for "wind turbine"? My Mum and Dad have a little house in France near lots of wind turbines, but I've only ever heard the word, not seen it written down, but seeing your name made me think that's how it might be spelt! :)


    Sorry did post yesterday had really horrid awful day everything went wrong burst into tears! Needed a mum (hug) make me feel better! But watched mammia Mia instead on TV in bed! :) which cheered me up! My mum text me this morning which brightened up my morning! I been swimming this morning brought in some washing b4 I left for swimming! :) I got it wrong parents are back late tomorrow night into early hours of Friday! Going to frankie & bennies Italian restaurant with my brother tonight!

    Oh love, sorry you had a rubbish day yesterday, but still, one rubbish day out of eight is still a success in my opinion! Cyber hugs! :) Well done for managing to look after yourself and cheer yourself up though, that's fantastic. Mmm I love Frankie and Benny's! Yum! I had a burger last time I was there, can't remember which one, but it was gorgeous! Hope you enjoy! :)

  17. Would they diagnose males? I know someone in the B&NES area who is trying to get diagnosed.


    You'd have to phone and ask I should think. I can't see why not, I think they were just on Rudy Simone's list because they are known to have experience diagnosing (and spotting) AS in women, because it can manifest so differently. :)

  18. It took me a long time to decide to get assessed, and I was very worried that I would not be diagnosed with Asperger's, which would leave me with a lot of questions - "if it's not AS, then what is wrong with me?!" etc. However, I was assessed and diagnosed, and I'm really glad to have the diagnosis. It's allowed me to forgive myself for being different and not being able to make certain things in my life work. In fact, in hindsight, I'm very proud of how much I achieved without having had a diagnosis! Having a diagnosis doesn't change who you are or what you've been through. Some people will respond favourably to hearing you have AS, others will respond negatively, but people will do both these things whether or not you have a diagnosis, based on how you come across to people anyway, so for me, it's been a good thing. The availability of support for adults seems to be a post code lottery, but I wasn't expecting support as a result of my diagnosis, I just wanted to know whether I was imagining the fact that I really identified with AS, or if I was going crazy. Personally, I think AS is awesome, and I'm happy to be Aspie, but that doesn't change the fact that we don't live in an Aspie world, but a neurotypical one, which is where (I feel) that most of the problems occur, in their reluctance to understand us.

    Best wishes in whatever path you choose to take. :)

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