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rufusrufus

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Posts posted by rufusrufus

  1. Posted · Report reply

    It can be hard to accept help, I know I definitely struggle with it, but I do hope you can find something that works for you to help you feel more organised, or maybe calmer about not always being organised, if that makes sense? :) I have to constantly challenge myself with little things, and it's realy hard, and I'm not sure how good at it I am really, but I keep trying :)

  2. Posted · Report reply

    Oh, I was reeeeally nervous about mine too, but they were really nice (the main diagnosing man came with this other woman, I'm not really sure what her purpose was, if she was training, or whether they needed another female present as it was in my own home?). They do these assessments all the time, they must appreciate that people feel really anxious about them, so hopefully they'll make it as un-traumatic as possible (I'm sorry, I'm not even sure that's a word, it's been a really long day!). Best of luck :)

  3. Posted · Report reply

    interview that ranged over my childhood development, adolescence and later life, and then moved on to my current situation, making reference to the answers I'd already given on the questionnaires. Basically, it was a three-hour, structured chat. Hope that helps!

     

    Mine was covered this, but it took about 90mins, then he spoke to my Mum on the phone (not sure how long for). Mine used the DISCO diagnostic tool.

  6. Posted · Report reply

    I hope this doesn't sound really patronising, but well done for phoning them up! That would be a massive deal for me :) Could you explain to his receptionist that you need something in writing ASAP to help with your benefits application? Or maybe your GP could phone the psychiatrist for you, if he needs "official" confirmation, even verbally, of what you said? If that satisfies your GP enough to sign your sick note, I'm not sure if the DWP will need your diagnosis in writing, or they might start your benefits anyway, and just ask you to send them the written confirmation when you get it? I think when I first went on ESA, I just had to send off my sick note from the doctor, nothing else. I'm not sure, though, just a thought. :)

  7. Posted · Report reply

    My life would be utter chaos if I didn't rely on lists, or people texting me, reminding me to do things. Like you, I too seem to have phases where I'm better organised, then other times when, list or no list, I just can't get things done - I burn food, I fill the washing up bowl and forget to actually do the washing up, I shave one leg and forget the other.... I think my depression doesn't help, as even if I remember that something needs doing, sometimes I don't have the motivation to do it. I made a list ages ago of every bit of possible housework that could possibly need doing, then split it into things that needed doing every day, every few days, every week, every month, less than monthly. Then I can go through and tick off, or mark the date, when I last did something, it just helps me keep track a bit better. Making timetables and routines for myself also helps, though I feel really guilty when I can't stick to them, for whatever reason. You might find you have to try many different strategies before you settle in to something which suits you.

    I hope you can find something which works for you. :)

  9. Posted · Report reply

    I had the same worry after my assessment: "What if they've changed their minds?" etc. If you are able to manage a phone call (I struggle with them, myself), I would give them a call in the morning. Or is there someone who could phone for you? I hope it gets resolved for you quickly. I know what it's like to worry about something like this.

  10. Posted · Report reply

    The guy who diagnosed me wrote me a letter before he had finished his official report, saying "You have a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome" (he actually did put it in bold!). He did this because, after speaking to my Mum on the phone, she mentioned that I was anxious that it wasn't real, that I'd imagined the whole thing, because my support worker who was meant to be present during the assessment, couldn't be there. So he phoned me up and said "Ruth - you have Asperger's!" just so I was sure, and then wrote the letter I mentioned. So hopefully whoever diagnosed you would be willing to do the same, especially as your grounds for wanting one are more official than me just being silly!? :) On Thursday the guy who diagnosed me brought round the official report too, and discussed a care plan with me. I'm quite excited now! :)

  13. Posted · Report reply

    Ooh I'll look out for those other books, thanks Special_talent123 :)

    It's funny, because I've been in the mental health system for just over a decade, and so many possible diagnoses have been bandied around - it was just such a relief when I read the Female Asperger's Traits on Rudy Simone's website and I felt "I'm home!!!!" :) Then I had to convince my mum that I wasn't crazy and imagining it all! That was fun :s :)

  16. Posted · Report reply

    Hi there, and welcome. You might be feeling quite overwhlemed with the diagnosis and everything, but I recommend "Aspergirls" and "22 Things A Woman With Asperger's Wants Her Partner To Know" both by Rudy Simone. They were both like reading my own life story. Anyway, welcome :)

  19. Posted · Report reply

    My reading tastes are highly eclectic. I don't think I'm particularly well read because my choices tend to be random, rather than based on the estimations of others; although I did read Jane Eyre, unabridged, when I was eight, lol. I like non-fiction as much as fiction. I also have an embarrassing addiction to picturebooks - we have a whole floor in our house which is buckling under the weight of them - coz they're for the kids, right? I just find something electric about the combination of words and pictures in many children's books. A favourite is Voices in the Park by Anthony Browne. My addiction was done no favours by my recent degree module - Children's Literature. I loved lots of the books I read during that module - my favourite was Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve. I also loved Treasure Island, Junk by Melvin Burgess and Northern Lights by Philip Pullman. Reckon you've got to be called Philip to write good children's books, lol.

     

    My current reading is strictly exam related :rolleyes: . Before that, I enjoyed reading Medieval Women by Henrietta Leyser, which is more thorough on the subject of women's lives in the Dark Ages than one can imagine possible. :) .

     

    When my tutor once said, in the middle of a lecture: "Who made the Classics, classics?" I realised I hadn't really read any! So I set about doing so, though I still don't think I've managed an entire Dickens. I loved Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights etc., I adore Daphne Du Maurier. I also used to collect children's books, well, I guess I still do, I just haven't bought any in a while. I LOVE The Little Prince.

    The Medieval Women book sounds cool. I've got a book upstairs called "Women's Madness - Myth Or Mysogeny" which I keep meaning to read but again, never finished! Grr Ruthy!

    In a library I'm like a kid in a sweet shop :)

  22. Posted · Report reply

    That's good to know about the private practitioners :) My parents have said that if we don't get anywhere through my GP that they would be willing to help pay, as they feel it is very important for me as you said though, hopefully we won't have to.

     

    I'm just over half way through "Aspergirls" I was up last night reading it and could easily have finished it in one sitting (and considered it!), but I knew I wouldn't get up in the morning to walk my dog! I think I might have to buy myself a copy as that was the urge I had, to underline the things that jumped out to me and I so badly wanted to go into my parents room and wake them up and say "Look! That explains that!" It is such an odd excitement! I kept going back into my childhood and the things that were often seen as my "funny little quirks" suddenly started to make sense! That is lovely about your Dad! I think once I've gone through it I'll have to let my family have a read too, as it would be interesting to see what they think and see if any of the behaviours I had when I was much smaller will come to light and make a little more sense!

     

    Also, just wanted to say I love ferrets! Always wanted one, but never have :(

     

    Thanks for that info Anxious, I'll keep it in mind :)

     

    I buy most of my books off Amazon, they tend to be fairly reasonable, and arrive quickly. I completely know what you mean about wanting to go wake your parents up and say "THAT'S what that was about!!". I think my Mum found it really interesting reading, not just considering me, but beginning to see my Dad's behaviours through an Aspie lens.

    Ferrets are awesome, always entertaining, terribly cute and endlessly mischievious :) Mine isn't very sociable as he was a stray (or maybe someone made him a stray because he wasn't very sociable!!) but I love having him around. I'd loooove to have a dog but I just couldn't cope, unfortunately, so a ferret that sleeps 20+ hours a day is perfect! :) What kind of dog do you have? Good luck with thr GP route, but I think it's good to know that there's a back up plan with the private practitioners :)

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Don't burn it!!!!! :o:lol: I liked writing a lot, but I don't think I quite reached your quantities of it, by the sound of it. How about reading, then?

     

    It should be burned, it's cripplingly embarassing! Blatant wish-fulfilment drivel! :) Oh the shaaaaame! :P I do love reading too though, I'm reading a biography of Daphne Du Maurier at the moment - I adore her! And I just read Forrest Gump, which is quite different from the film, but very good. What do you like to read? :)

  24. Posted · Report reply

    Ha, a fellow language geek! Yeah, I know what you mean about grammar. My grammar isn't always hot, because I can't always be bothered; but if you ever spot a preposition at the end of my sentences you can be sure that I'm conscious of it and have made my peace with it :lol: . Coz, you know, sometimes it can just be silly.

     

    Exactly. I do take certain liberties, but I like to think I do so with enough authority to get away with it! :P

     

     

    Farsi is a great language. Having learnt the script it's actually gloriously straight forward because there is no gendering - less so than English, even - and the verbs are largely compound verbs. So if you can conjugate about ten verbs, you can conjugate 'em all :D .

     

    That sounds awesome! :)

     

    I've always loved languages. When I was eight, I longed to learn Gurjurati. I was always interested in Asian languages, and I think variant scripts have been a particular lure. My next language, though, if I ever get around to it, will be Welsh. My middle son seems to love the sound of Welsh, and frequents Welsh children's websites. So I do fancy learning it, and it would be cool to trounce into a shop and interact in Welsh while on holiday in Wales :D .

     

    Welsh would be amazing. And yes, I'm sure you could get plenty of use out of it :)

    I would have thought that your diagnosis would support your DLA, rather than affect it adversely. Hope all goes ok with that, because I know from my family how stressful the whole thing can be.

     

    Did you ever make up a code and then learn to read and write it fluently?

     

    No, I just used to write and write and write and then write some more in English. I wrote 100 pages of a novel when I was 9 or 10 :) It was terrible, but my Mum's still got it somewhere (note to self: find it and BURN IT!!!!) :P

  25. Posted · Report reply

    How can you tell if somebody is a true friend?

     

    That's a really good question, and one I constantly get wrong in my own life! I think it's someone who accepts you for who you are, and doesn't try to make you into something you are not. I have / had a friend who I really valued (I don't really have a lot of friends) but it's becoming apparant to me that she's only interested in me when I'm not depressed (I suffer from severe depression). I think it's because when she first met me, I was going through a period of wellness, so that's the version of me she was used to seeing. When I got ill, she seemed very uncomfortable with it, and instead of talking to me about it, she just ignored it, I think in the hopes that it would just go away if she refused to acknowledge it. And she's done it a few times, in a few different ways, so I'm starting to think that she's not as interested in being a genuine friend as I thought she was. I haven't even told her about my diagnosis of AS, because I'd hate for her to ignore that too :(

     

    I think true friends keep in touch, or at least tell you if they are too busy etc. I think they don't make you feel bad for the things you can't do, but praise you for the things you can do. They will contact you, so you don't always have to be the one to make first contact if you haven't talked in a while. Essentially, they make you feel good :) It's more complicated than that, but I'm not an expert and anyway, it's all very well me writing stuff down, but that doesn't mean I'd recognise it in a real life situation! :)

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