Jump to content

assmerger

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content Count

    41

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by assmerger

  1. Posted · Report reply

    I can exist on my own quite easily if I avoid intoxicants as if I imbibe in intoxicants I come to hate myself way too quickly and thereafter become very self destructive. I see others twice a week only two visits to the pub per week to engage in the quiz nights, my only reason to go out anymore, but when the beer is in the sense is out, I end up questioning my choice of friends as they do not see life the same way as I do, but they are all employed and have partners with futures to look forward to whereas I do not, as I can't get a partner my social skills despite everything I have tried are not enough and so my future is me on my own as I have been the last seven years, if I last that long as I don't see any future if things don't change.

     

    Life Sucks.

     

    You see, I had friends I saw eye to eye with, but they have moved on, got jobs and partners and are thinking of better things where I can't move on I am me as I am the same as usual.

     

    how old are u..i dont think its hard for a guy to get a gf tbh with u i could ge a gf if i really wanted many girls want a safe guy and a guy with aspergers who is not got the skills to cheat on her and may be a bit socially dumb and innocent will be admired by some kinda girls, the ones that really want a bf...im not to bothered about having a partner i just more into sex...i wouldn tsay no to a gf but im not going to do much with her or give her much of my time

  3. Posted · Edited by assmerger · Report reply

    i told them they werent helping me...but she was saying stuff like telling me what clothes to buy to get girls and rubbish like that.

     

    Also they wanted me to do cbt but tbh with you I need to be the one to do it and I didnt want to..They are like exposure makes it all fine but i exposed myself to crowds etc for years and it hasnt helped..IMO aspergers causes sensory isues that simple exposure will not resolve..you can have all the therapy in the world but IMO I beleve aspergers is a disorder which cannot be cured so i could stand in the middle of tokyo city centre for 5 years but still would have strong sensory isues and as a result anxieties etc..eye contact will always be cripplingand i dont know why that is? I have had painfulnes with eye contact as far back as I can remember even talking to my shcool teachers and family..why is eye contact so painful for us? I dont see how that will ever be cured its just the disorder it cant be fixed? smae with being touched, I hate people touching me even hugging me I hate it..women at work used to keep putting her arm on me..I hate it..My aunties want to hug me when they see me i stand totally rigid..

     

    I feel aspergers is more like if you have a broken leg it can be fixed but aspergers cannot..If you are shy you can coem out your shell, if you are introverted you would not come out your shell etc...I dunno?

  5. Posted · Edited by assmerger · Report reply

    life 2.0?

     

    erm i go out a lot and have been its not like i have never had life 2.0..I have had life 2.0 going to work, going to parties, going to uni etc..etc..and in all honesty the best part about life 2.0 is when i get home and into my bed and get my ps3 on and snuggle up.

     

    I like going out in small doses maybe once a week or soemthing..but yeh atm im to depressed to even bother going out at all.

     

    The thing i like best about being out is being drunk. If i get drunk i want to go out. I dont even socialise with people though as due to my asperger + being drunk I become even more one sided in conversation and egotistical lol..Just act like im some king.

     

    but if im not drunk i dont want to be around people for long, even when im drunk i dont really like being around them i guess .

     

    I donteven know what im typing but i like being drunk for sure.

  7. Posted · Edited by assmerger · Report reply

    erm i have been at psychologist since i were 13. I have been recently seeing a women but i got struck off as i missed 1 appointment and was late for 2..so thats the 3 strike rule on the NHS so i was struck of and dont get help no more, she wasnt helping me anyway she was ######. I study psych at uni and know all she was telling me anyway.

     

    Also i dont like crowds, cars, noise, most people, chatting, open spaces etc...agorpahobia or not its not like I enjoy being out at all.

     

    At school I used to scive and go home or hide in the toilets..at work i used to hide in the toilets or just look for excuses to get away. Or I used to phone up ill all the time.

     

    I dont know whats wrong with me?!?!

  8. Posted · Report reply

    Sounds as if you're going through depression to be honest and you're doing anything that makes you feel good.

     

    You should go and see a doctor and tell them what you're telling us here and see if they can help.

     

    mm Ive been on anti depressants since i were 13 and seen shrinks since then, its nothing new.

     

    DOnt know how much of my problems/lifestyle are due to either agoraphbia, depression, introversion or aspergers or its all related

  9. Posted · Edited by assmerger · Report reply

    Now what are thresholds for being on your own? A day? Two days? A week? Do you know how long you can go without any social contact at all (and this includes forums of course too)?

     

    lol try years...months i dont even leave my room. I have it all though, sky tv, recording studio, guitar, latest pc and video games, dvds, torrents, books, study, home gym, porn, internet..I have it all in my house....

     

    Summer holidays from school 7 weeks long as a kid I used to sit in my room and play football manager game all 7 weeks 24/7 wouldn't leave my room, didnt even shower lol...I had agorpahobia though so i didnt like to go out when my freinds invite me and if more than 3 people i didnt like it so i chose to stay in.

  10. Posted · Edited by assmerger · Report reply

    I have not left my room much at all for months now.

     

    I used to enjoy playing sports and playing pool, taking my dog for a walk.

     

    But does anyone else feel the external world and moreso people offer you anything at all?

     

    I really have no reason to leave my house at all now that i dont play sports and my dog died.

     

    Well for sex perhaps thats it? Im not sure I enjoy sex though but I like attractive girls.

     

    Off course i like nature and stuff but the people of the outside world...I have no need to interact with them I guess?

  12. Posted · Edited by assmerger · Report reply

    I would recomend having a look at the book 'Party of One' the loners' manifesto by Anneli Rufus.It is a very interesting read and sets out to explore what it might be to be a loner and looks at the advantages and disadvantages in a way which de-stigmatises the concept.

     

    I have read it a few times and can see so much of myself in it. Rather than make me anxious about having to be some sort of socially acomplished performer it has made me feel comfortable about who I really am.

     

    http://www.amazon.co...48685684&sr=1-1

     

    I dont get anxious about being a loner i get depressed..you see at school i was most popular and always had loads of freinds but after puberty everything changed as other freidns didnt wanna play video games and football etc they wanted to go to parties and get drunk and go to clubs and meet girls etc but i didnt wnat to do that so then i was just left alone really.

     

    But on the other hand i love being alone..Never moreso than after being with others..days alone i get depressed but a few hours with people i can then cherish being a lone and desire it again...funny

     

    cheers for rec of book i will check it out

  13. Posted · Edited by Suze · Report reply

    On the one hand i like to be alone a lot.

     

    On the other hand i enjoy to have freinds.

     

    BUt i get overloaded and fatigues easy..I cant handle to many people at once or crowds.

     

    Due to my personality also poor social skills lack of energy to socialise its hard to meet or keep freinds..even if wanted to? Most people want to be active and do things they dont want a freind who doesnt talk or do much.

     

    HOw do you deal with it?

     

    Do you prefer to be alone a lot? But also feel lonely a lot? etc...

     

    I prefer 1 or 2 close freinds and to go to nice places, not with idiots or to much noise. I also like to do things such as pool or video games or sport rather than just talk or do nothing as i fidn that pointless boring. There has to be some kind of task at hand when socialising.

  16. Posted · Report reply

    yes good question..I had to go through many appeals just to get ESA...basically caliming on agoraphobia and anxiety moreso than aspergers..I had no luck at all getting DLA..and now have had to reapply for my ESA as its been 1 year and its going to be rejected and i will need to go to appeal case at tribunal again..what a joke.

     

    Aspergers is a nothing disorder to the benefits people...Also I can act and talk 100% normal so when they see me i look and appear a legit person it doesnt help I have all A grades for my studies. So what they see is an intelligent normal looking guy.

     

    What they dont relaise is the pain, anxiety and stress in things such as being away from home for long, beign far from home, being around people and many people, being in large busy buildings etc..etc...

  17. Posted · Report reply

    I love these games...its related to aspergers???

     

    Maybe as i have no real outside life these games give me one? they let me role play in an open world sand box?

     

    Another thing I noticed i do is get in a car and do circles/rings for ages.

     

    I then read people with aspergers like to look at spinning objects..haha mad

×
×
  • Create New...