Adult AS - rechannelling obsessions?

[Adult AS - rechannelling obsessions?]

Thanks Baddad and Simon.

 

Simon - I have learned gradually (over 6.5 years) to not expect hubby to reply when I ask him a question. I do try to give him time to think it over and come back with an answer the next day or whenever it suits him to talk about it. He's very good at avoiding things though, and with the money situation so tight I really need him to claim benefits. I feel like I'm nagging him all the time (something I swore I would not do - turn into my mother!), and not getting any response. Do I keep nagging or just shut up about it? Hope he'll get round to it or arrange it for him? I hate being narky and dominant!

 

I'll try the Delphi forums too. Hubby has a couple of Aspie/Depression forums he frequents, but I might mention that one as well.

 

Thanks again for the replies.

[Adult AS - rechannelling obsessions?]

 

OCD is not necessarily a feature of autism, so it might be more a case of that being something he really LIKES doing rather than an 'obsession' as such...

If it is 'genuine' OCD then it might be possible to 'redirect elsewhere', but it will be something thet he wants to redirect it into, not something you want him to focus on...

Given the twin interests of language and computers, it may be that a 'new interest' combining the two could help... online word puzzles or something like that?

 

I don't really think it's OCD as such - just that when there's something he likes doing, that's all he'll do. Once the forum bores him or the programme's finished, he'll go back to playing computer games. He'll play each computer game over and over, on various levels of difficulty using different characters. If I talk to him sometimes he'll reply, but generally doesn't hear me. I know he's not ignoring me, he just doesn't register that I'm speaking.

 

Impossible to say from what you've said in your post, but maybe there's more to this than is readily apparent... chronic low mood etc evolved into something more? effects of unemployment (self esteem, etc etc) , and maybe you need professional support with that...

 

He's been depressed most of his life, but it has got worse since he stopped working. He's been in a psych unit, self-harmed daily for a while, took two overdoses. I've tried to get help for him, but he doesn't like any of the mental health workers we've been put in touch with. Some of them have refused to work with him - because he was 'un-cooperative'. We don't see anyone regularly. If he has an appointment he'll go if I take him, but if I'm working and he's not in the mood he won't go. Won't phone to cancel, just won't turn up. Then next time I try to get help they say 'well, he doesn't seem to want out help'. He's on Zispin anti-depressant now, but I'm never sure they actually work.

 

'Articulate, turning 'reasonable arguments'... it's a difficult one, 'cos there's no definition of 'reasonable'... if he's perfectly happy and content with things the way they are and is arguing to preserve that then you are the unreasonable one for trying to change things in his eyes... If you can't win the arguments, stop having them and find another method of communication, maybe?

Perhaps rather than debating the rights and wrongs of certain behaviours it would be more beneficial to discuss the consequences? Right and wrong doesn't come into it if the consequence makes it a moot point...

 

I know my version of reasonable is not necessarily his. He does seem content with things the way they are, and I am the one who feels unhappy. I'd like to come home to a clean house or dinner or shopping brought home, just sometimes. I do ask him to do things, but generally when I come home from work he's either just up or has been on the computer all day. We don't argue as such because neither of us is confrontational. When I try to discuss consequences he just says 'well that doesn't really bother me'.

 

I think I'm just frustrated with myself for not being abe to communicate on his level. I feel I should be more understanding and generally it doesn't bother me because I fell in love with the whole package - just gets to me sometimes.

 

Is there a forum anywhere that specifically deals with adult problems?

[Adult AS - rechannelling obsessions?]

My husband has AS and dysthymia (chronic low mood) and was diagnosed a couple of years ago. He?s 42 and used to be a University lecturer in computing. He?s been unemployed for 1.5 years and hasn?t really worked for the last 2 or 3 years. He resigned from his job after an industrial dispute and an out of court settlement. The money is now gone. I?m trying to get him to sign on for Jobseekers of Incapacity, but he?s shown no interest as it involves making a telephone call, which he doesn?t like.

 

He is quite obsessive and at the moment it?s internet forums (particularly Big Brother!). The first thing he does when he gets up is turn on the computer and check the forum. He spends all day and night (when he?s not sleeping) ?discussing? things with other forum people. These often turn into arguments, and he?s been banned from several forums. He often turns into the Grammer Police!

 

My question is, how do you rechannel the energy that goes into one obsession onto something else? Is it possible to get him obsessed about cleaning the house, washing the dishes until they?re clean, etc?

 

He is a very messy Aspie. Sleeps in his clothes for weeks, doesn?t like being clean or tidy. He?s also highly intelligent and can turn any discussion I try to have about keeping himself/the house clean/tidy into a ?why is it important? thing. I?m not half as articulate as him, and just can?t get my point across most of the time.

 

Is there any hope?