Why is Harry Potter so popular?

[Why is Harry Potter so popular?]

It always bothered me that a woman took males as heroes though. She should have put girls in a more central role, in my opinion. That has always been a point of criticism. And to be honest, he is not really appealing as a boy/man in a traditional sense. I thought he was often very aggressive and unbalanced. In the books, anyway. The films have a more positive view on him, I find. If the layers are subconscious, it's a little sad and disappointing. But probably very typical for a lot of people who live a life without realising how manipulated they are by society. By the way, I don't understand above website at all, what's the use and aim of it?

[Why is Harry Potter so popular?]

I believe one reason that it is so very popular that after the fourth book or so Rowling addressed an older age group and I thought it wasn't at all for children anymore. The ideas were clearly taken from the holocaust of the WWII and the persecution that took place. It made me cry so many times reading about the people who disappeared, hid in the forests, were found and killed, survived etc. I thought the theme was depressing albeit interesting and fascinating. Rowling seems to me rather a pessimist sort of person with a lot of underlying criticism in her books re society. Let's think of the Order if the Phoenix and the meddling of the ministry into Hogwarts, clearly a hint at OFSTED in schools. Or at least it can be interpreted this way. I couldn't stand the book, I thought Umbridge so nasty and cruel that it took me effort to get through this. I loved, on the other hand, the Goblet of Fire as I found it intriguingly creative and original and depicts the complexity of relationships very well.

 

I think it is escapism, yes, however, there was a so realistic chunk about it that a lot of people could relate to it very much.

Films are mostly more popular because it's easier to watch than read for many people, the music is a masterpiece, the effects excellent. Putting it all together - and of course being at the right place at the right time - and you have the result: an enormously rich woman who, hopefully, does many good deeds with her money as well as lead a good and decent life.

:)

[My journey with Aspergers.....]

Re my parents. As stated my Dad was over strict and a bit of abully.

He was a bully and we could not talk to him or get advice from HiIm it was like living with a stranger or headmaster. It also hurt him that his own children were too scared to talk to him and that made him bully and beat us more, always cuss us in front if people, or believe other side first if we were in trouble or in a dispute , to get back at us. We could not speak or make noise if he was around. ThaT alone causes low self esteem Plus I always thought he was a bully to tough us up because he saw me and my two brothers as wimps the opposite of him. My older brother has learning difficulues and autistic and needs to be looked after That didn't work or help either growing up knowing we were not like him. I have three sisters who were more respected among their peers when growing up and perhaps were not impressed by us!

 

You must have suffered very much, I'm really sorry to hear that!

 

My mother did not have any mental issues untill a few months before she died of cancer when i was 18. The cancer had spread to her brain and she was acting the total opposite. She was a very quiet private person and i never remembered her raising her voice to my father till then, no doubt responding to his bullying ways. After her death the family left home but i stayed with my father, he nearly went off the rails, remarried a woman from overseas which went wrong, I tried to build some kind of father son relationship and no doubt prevented him from going off the rails. He died in 1995

 

Again this is very tragic... my condolences!

 

It was not always nice being an identical twin. Being constantly compared with each other had its pitfalls. Also it led to self esteem issues. Some people who did not know I had a twin would see my brother and he did not know them would think he was rude and blanked them. The next time they saw me they would not speak to me. Or if they saw my brother acting silly they would think it was me and would not want to associate with me. The same thing happended to my brother. This made me more withdrawn and paronoid.

 

My twin brother got involved in a religious cult, David Koresh's Branch Davidians. I tried talking him out of it but he was brainwashed. N No doubt, People with low self esteem issues often get drawn into religious cults because they dont believe in themselves. He was unfortunately one of the 70 Britons who lost their lives at Waco in 1993.

 

I think the religious cult thing is a very typical path people with low self-esteem follow, unfortunately. But how much can a person endure in their life? A third time, I'm very sorry and well done you for getting so far!

 

Welcome to the forum!

[Looking at AS positively]

From my point of view it's just that NTs are not able to understand NDs as hardly any person around is able to understand what is going inside another person generally. One of the criteria for ASD seems to be that we can't put ourselves into other people's shoes, I, however, think that people don't do that very much anyway if I think about it and there we've got something in common all of us humans. That's at least from what I can see living with a lot of NTs on a daily basis at work.

No, I'm not one of them but I live with them and need to compromise. I've done that all my life. I do believe that I had a tough time but I need to point out that I don't think every NT wanted to do me harm deliberately. Perhaps this is being naive, as I think I am anyway. I simply can't accept that the world around us is dark and evil. We're very sensitive, I believe and take a lot very seriously what other people would easily dismiss as normal or simply not important enough. In many cases this is probably callous of them but then, human brain has given us this protective mechanism that blanks out much of what humans can't cope with. Vulnerable people often suffer from lack of such a mechanism.

Human nature is designed for protecting your own against the stranger, the unknown or even the enemy. Let's try to think about how parents protect their children, how they teach them to protect themselves and how they then act later in life; then I must consider that they try to make the most money they can to have a good lifestyle for themselves and their next of kin. Some people are religious and therefore are good to others as they believe they go to heaven if they do, others are nice because they are kind as a person but would always have limits they draw to protect themselves. And others, like me for example, I've had very wide limits and am very vulnerable because of that. And that's when in the past some people used me or did even uglier things. I just didn't see behind the facade of a smile where NTs would have been able to see instinctively behind that mask.

It's true we need to learn to accept our differences and a lot of education on both sides is in order, I guess. The funny ideas NTs have about aspies must change.

That we have a lot of positive things about us is an absolute fact as well. I in many ways have always believe in advantages I have compared with 'the others' and I also think that I have contributed considerably to the environment I live in. Whether people realise? I have not got the faintest. I don't think its that important to think about, it's only important how I feel about it.

That's my rant for today!

[Hello, I am new.]

 

Dear Matt and Ian,

 

I believe you are both correct in some respects. It would be pleasant to know that I don't have anything on the AS. And I can work towards not being as eccentric. But that's not who I am. It's quite blatant that I almost definitely have something up with me. As autism.co.uk says, "Having an explanation for the problems that your child has been experiencing can bring a sense of relief. It also provides you with the information you need to get access to the most appropriate education and services." and I think that's very accurate. I will attempt to convince my parents to take me to the GP. I already get discriminated in certain respects, but all it does is makes me laugh because they think they are being mean but they are actually being pathetic. I know that I am better than them so what ever they do to "hurt" me is futile. And it makes me laugh. I am me, and I can't do a thing about that. All I can do is be happy that I AM me, and not somebody else that isn't me. Because I am awesome.

 

Yay! Being positive is good. Although I don't think this constantly, this is my mantra to keep positive. I'm not actually this conceited. I promise.

 

Yours positively,

 

Jasmine.

Hi Jasmine,

 

if I want to interfere as an older person not diagnosed so far (but very much sure that I'm neurodiverse), also being a teacher and working with some high-functioning autistic and Asperger children I must give you my opinion. It's true that there is discrimination all over the place and if I think about telling any of my colleagues to be an aspie, I don't think they would be pleased to be around me anymore. Because at the minute I'm eccentric for them, strange yes, obsessed with certain things and incredibly independent which is a mere lack of social contact to the full because of my social phobia that I have developed over time. For them it's rather something exciting and, therefore, very positive. This would then be changed into me having a condition and the "aaaahhh, that's why she's like that" - reaction.

 

I believe your parents and mine are very similar in their point of view. They try to think it away, "it doesn't happen in our family" and a condition like autism has a stigma and is, therefore, not wanted. I once talked to a family who had the ideas of autistic children vomiting all over you when I mentioned I would like to be a special needs teacher for autistic children. It turned my stomach upside down hearing this nonsense.

However, I know if I had known of my condition earlier, I wouldn't have done things I have done in my life and I would have suffered far less. I probably would have benefitted from certain support strategies and it would have been easier for me to live with myself. Certain things would have been dismissed, some things would have never occurred to do if I only had known... . It's difficult to make that decision for any person but it becomes more difficult at a later stage, I believe, also because I have heard that the NHS don't want to diagnose adults necessarily and as a youngster schools are very much into protecting their students. At least this is what happens in mine. A lot of children come to us from primary schools and are diagnosed at the age of 11 or 12 and straight away you can tell in the change that they demonstrate in their attitude that they have support in form of counsellors and also the school's pastoral system covers care for them extensively. Their self-confidence is built up very much and they're encouraged to participate in everything with neurotypical students. The inclusive system is therapeutic in many cases, often it can be challenging for all participants, of course.

Surely, these are the two sides and although I do believe that when these children leave school, they may be discriminated in a way but they will at least have the confidence to develop a thicker skin, will be aware of their issues and avoid common issues of unemployment, for instance. If was told on this forum only yesterday, that it's important to know who we are in order to feel well in ourselves and I definitely agree with this.

 

I hope what I've written makes sense and helps a bit!

[Hi everyone, I'm new as well!]

Hi Lessa and welcome. That was a very thoughtful first post, and if it helps to write out what you're going to say in advance and having a think about it before posting, why not? Thanks a lot, Verbeia. It always helps a lot to be encouraged in what we're doing to protect ourselves. I can't be spontaneous in writing and read everything through many times to ensure I have expressed myself clearly, correctly and have eliminated any mistakes. And when I still realise there is a mistake after posting or sending something out... oh gosh, it really bothers me!

[Hi everyone, I'm new as well!]

Hello, Lessa! Welcome Thanks!!!!!!

Thank you very much for your reply. It really makes me feel I'm not the only one in the world who has these weird thoughts and I can express them without being concerned about people laughing at me or worse. It's even more obvious to me that I'm simply different in a neur0-psychological way and that I have to accept myself the way I am and not try and press myself into something that I don't belong in. It makes me feel I can now start to work on different issues that I would like to address for myself and feel I can improve certain areas.

I was like that for years, but somehow over the past couple of years I've managed to acquire a few good friends and one very special friend - people often assume we're partners. Maybe we are; we don't really know, for we can't see things from the NT viewpoint (and wouldn't want to). So please don't ever give up hope.

I used to be better with people than I am now. Although I'm not entirely sure. I think I never had friends as such, I just thought I did until I realised I felt betrayed by them, treated unfairly or was neglected. I don't know whether they did or whether it was all in my imagination. I usually lived in groups like being in communities that automatically included people and the contact with them. I never felt well, never accepted but I suppose I at least never felt isolated. Now I'm developing a kind of a phobia of being with people, being too close to them or them bullying me, hating me or wanting to harm me. It's shocking to realise this development - deterioration I would call it. There must have been a trigger for that and I think I slowly start to find out where it could have its origin. Nowadays, even the feeling that someone could come too close to me (mentally and even worse physically) makes me gape and try to catch breath like a fish out of water.

 

It took me a long time to realise that a true friend wouldn't mind this. They'd just accept you as the way you are. I can only truly be myself with my few friends. I can easily get absorbed in my many special interests, but since I acquired these friends, I spend less time on my interests. Sometimes I feel bad about that!

For a long time I didn't have any interests at all because I wasn't allowed as a child to be myself, was basically forced to be like everyone else, was taken away from my books that I loved so much, was also forced to spend money that I wanted to save for myself. I got, in a nutshell, prepared for the real world out there that I was so scared of. I started to be into music but was never really supported in this, either. Sport used to be an outlet for some time but was likewise undermined. I think they wanted me to be a mediocre, typical girl who would marry and live happily ever after with the man of her dreams. As you can imagine, this led to drinking and smoking as I didn't have any alternative to calm myself down or to find satisfaction in myself. I didn't believe in any of my abilities, was told I was moderately intelligent if not a little below that.

 

Poor thing I don't voluntarily go out in the cold, and for years I'd almost 'hibernate' indoors over the winter - only going out for necessities and then rushing back as quickly as possible. With a close friend I no longer do that, for she's quite demanding of my time - which I think is good for me. We enjoy our winter walks and keep warm. We don't mind being stared at for there's a certain strength in being a pair of weirdos. On my own I feel very vulnerable, but with her we're too busy with each other to care about what others think. (Meeting her has made me realise how much fun was lacking in my life).

Ah, the cold is cold but the world is cold also when it's hot. For me the word cold has two meanings and I shiver being with people whatever the climate is like. Yes, I get affected more than others by the cold and I do not sweat easily, even when the temperatures are very high. The world is cold on top of this as people are making me freeze and uncomfortable.

I'm happy for you that you have found someone to be with and to forget how odd you feel. I think we all have a right to feel normal.

 

Very well put. It's the existential aspie dilemma. By 'people' I presume you mean neurotypical people - what I used to call the 'adult world' before I realised I had AS. Such an alien world, where we are observers ever struggling to make sense of it. What, though, is 'normal'? Must 'normal' always equate with what is right or good? I hardly think so.

Yes, I'm referring to neurotypical people who are 'people' or 'the others' as I secretly call them. Yes, I always realised I was different to them and I never thought it was a bad thing not to be normal. However, the price to pay is high at times. The lack of ability to feel the way others do, to have a gender-defined role and live a life according to societal rules is difficult and it would have been a lot easier to walk on such an even and stable path of life. Instead, I struggled myself through university (it took me 10 years to get the degree - an eternity) and even then I wasn't able to do jobs with some sort of responsibility. I then moved away from my home area and went abroad where I suffered badly. Oddly enough, I learned to survive and matured emotionally considerably. And only when my son was born, 8 years ago, I finally managed to go into a profession that I enjoy. I finally had the courage and confidence to put myself into that position. Oh my word, the suffering during the training though I could not describe to anyone. I thought it was because people were extremely harsh and the system unfair and over the top but I think it was just me not coping well. I didn't give up which is what I'm truly proud of nowadays.

 

Yes! Me again, totally. Shopping alone invites panic attacks for me. Luckily I do most of my shopping here with my friend when my stress levels are much lower.

I do my shopping online, most of the time. If I have to go to the shops I choose times when there are hardly any people around. I do my shopping quickly and leave as soon as I can and go back to my lovely car with my doors locked. While in the shops I usually am so lost in thought that I don't realise where I am until someone talks to me.

 

I only enjoy serious talking unless I'm with her, when we behave like silly children a lot of the time! I do this with my son, I play games with him the whole day long! I love this!

 

I used to teach too. I get on a lot better with children that with NT adults, but found the collective noise of school situations very stressful. I find that children instinctively gravitate towards me - as if they have some way of sensing I'm kind and safe. Maybe it's because I'm emotionally childlike myself. Although I played a professional role, I found that I can truly be myself with many children (The stress of playing a role would now be too much for me). I don't have to pretend and I meet them at their own level, as equals. I'm passionately protective of the underdog - usually children and animals.

Yes, I have a big heart for every minority group that there is. And children for me are yet to become part of the world of 'the others'. They are still innocent, victims themselves in many cases. They are more tolerant and have a better sense of humour (from my point of view - I can't stand crude adult sense of humour that often includes adult material and promotes gender inequality, alcoholism and drug abuse). As a teacher I am a person they trust and believe in. We form a unit as a class and I'm part of it. I can easily ask them questions and listen to their problems because they never expect me to do the same. On the contrary, I'm a professional, and should keep any private matter of mine out of their mental reach. That's the lovely thing about it. I hope I can do this as long as possible.

 

It was bereavement, and my resulting inability to cope, that led to my (very deep) digging. Your journey through adolescence pretty accurately mirrors my own.

I have read about your mum's death. I'm sorry about that. It must have been a hard time for you. How wonderful though that you have found a new life. Keep it up, it sounds so very positive!

 

Congratulations on managing to make the post. There's no need to feel nervous with us. We're all in the same boat! Thank you very much for your encouraging words, I feel I can now start sorting my life and my own self a bit better.

 

[Hi everyone, I'm new as well!]

It's all a struggle trying to work out who you are, but once you have then everything starts to clarify and appear a little easier to take. Knowing that you struggle with a disorder is cause to understand who you are and why you act in certain ways. When I got my diagnosis, I realised that this technically made me different which kind of confirmed what I felt I already knew, but it made me realise that I now technically have something that I can resort to, something that explains myself.

 

 

 

I've done this before, quite recently, for a specific situation. When I thought of it, I realised that this was an easy way to ensure that I get the words down exactly as I wanted them to be. That being said, I'd like to assure you that you don't particularly need to concern yourself about the wording of your posts on here. As far as I'm aware, nobody really ever criticises anybody else on here, so I guess you can consider it a safe haven of a kind.

 

I wouldn't know for sure what else to say, but I will say that a diagnosis is quite imperative to getting to know yourself a little more, and it will likely also give you an idea of how severe your AS is. I'd recommend it but I wouldn't be able to tell you who the best person to talk to would be, since I was technically diagnosed in what you'd probably call a pediatric clinic, so I don't know how it is for adults.

 

Finally, there should be some AS groups that you'd be able to join, should you get yourself a diagnosis (and perhaps some that accept you even without one, though I'm not too sure about that). If you're looking for people to talk to then I'd recommend looking there. There are also some for parents of children with AS which you might find helpful. These groups might be specific to certain areas but I'd recommend looking, regardless.

 

 

I wish you luck with it all, and if you want to talk then just send me a message. I know there are many other people on here that would be more than willing to speak with you as well.

 

Hi,

Thanks a lot for your kind reply. I see the need to get diagnosed as well but I'm not sure I have the nerve to do so at this stage. I think it's the GPs who refer you to other people but being me makes it almost impossible to communicate about myself. Emotions all over the place and unable to express what's going on in my head. Last time I went there I was there for depressions that I have at times (well, many times) but couldn't express myself so that they didn't take it seriously, gave me a pack of antidepressants and wished me good luck. Maybe I just write everything down next time and ask them to read it.

 

Anyway, thanks again for your kind advice and time.

[Hi everyone, I'm new as well!]

Let me start by saying that I’m feeling incredibly nervous, so nervous that I feel a little sick and I need to take many deep breaths to even start. And I’m not starting by directly posting it onto the website, no, I’m writing in WORD, to get an idea of what I want to write or not write or whether I will in the end really post it.

I don’t have friends, not a single friend that I could call closer than an acquaintance and good acquaintance. I have a couple of people I can go to the restaurant with or to a museum/art gallery from time to time. The restaurant I like because I know it (it’s always the same), the trip to London for a day out can be very stressful. It’s not even the fact that I’m away from home or with a lot of people in the city. After all, there I have the anonymity that I need to feel secure. It’s the thought of going there before I leave home that scares me most. It’s the feeling that I won’t be able to do what I usually do, that I won’t be able to think the same way and I have to concentrate on someone else rather than myself and my stuff that I so love doing. I don’t like to walk in the cold and feel that I can’t hide myself if I need to. That people stare at me and may think I’m a weirdo. I’m also worried people don’t take me seriously, find me rude or tactless. That people find out who I really am. Now the question is: Who am I? I don’t really know myself so what do I think people see in me? Likewise, I don’t know.

When there are people who eventually show more interest in me than on the usual acquaintance level, I feel suffocated and need to liberate myself and escape. Back to loneliness, back to my home and safety.

I love driving though, I love to drive my car – it must be mine or I feel uncomfortable and insecure. I could drive forever on country roads but I hate motorways. I still use them if I have to. It sometimes takes me ages to decide to take a trip to a place further away, sometimes because of the motorways or A-roads, however, often due to all the people who may criticise me for being there. What if I hesitate while driving looking for my way and they beep at me? What if I park in the wrong space and they shout at me (which has happened before). I can’t stand being criticised or being talked to firmly. I feel people as rude and intolerant. I’m scared of people as if they were a different species and I was xenophobic. I’m not xenophobic when it comes to races; I’m xenophobic because I don’t feel myself as normal and the other people as too normal.

I usually keep telling myself that people probably don’t even see me, don’t think of me as more than another person in the street. This usually helps a bit. I also take my camera and pretend I’m just an observer, not a participant. The camera protects me because no-one usually talks to me when I’m just quick enough to take a picture and leave. This is even more the case if I’m on a party or sit-in with colleagues from work where I then have to get up and take pictures of all of them. They are surprised, they don’t understand that I do it to escape… I have nothing to say to most of them. I’m embarrassed to be me at times and sometimes I simply think that I belong to another planet.

I can’t stand neither shopping, chatting nor gossiping. I can’t do role-defined stuff, don’t understand why women are so incredibly emotional and cry all so much in public. However, I can’t understand men and their attitude towards women, either. I’m neither woman nor man. I’m in between things.

 

I'm very sensitive to noise in the street, although, it's selectively annoying and painful, e.g. I don't mind children playing and yelling, I do mind, on the other hand, cars and the smell due to pollution. I, therefore, hardly ever walk to places in my area as it makes me incredibly tired and feel stressed. I despise the noise in my classroom at work, being a teacher and having two classrooms adjacent and I can hear the other teachers yell. In these moments I can't concentrate and I can even feel aggressive and I have to make sure I keep myself under control for the sake of my students in front of me who, by the way, don't bother me at all. I love every single child and would do everything for them to feel safe in my classroom. That's the professional me, I'm not myself, I'm playing a role, the responsible role of a teacher and I love my job and spend most of the time working.

 

For your information, I'm not diagnosed as anything but have been digging deeply and have come to the conclusion I must be on the spectrum. Every single step that I take in life, all the anxieties that I have and haven't mentioned here and my adolescence that I spent either in isolation or drunk in some night club, all indicates that there's always been something different about myself. I even tried and moved away from home attempting to escape my own self, tried travelling but naturally it didn't work. It made me feel even more insecure and completely out of my comfort zone. However, I never figured out what it was. Only now that I have suspected my son to be on the spectrum (and having found out that my dad has Asperger), I realise that I show all the signs of a person with Asperger as well. Actually, some things are getting worse as I'm getting older whereas others are more under control. I, for example, now know how to calm myself down when in distress which is a very big plus. On the other side, I can not take the risk of even thinking about a friend or partner or making new acquaintances.

 

Well, that has cost me lots of effort to post this and I'm still nervous. As I've come so far in writing it all out, I better send it and don't delete it as I would probably do if I didn't pull myself together as I'm trying to keep the finger off the delete button. Gosh, even little things are so complicated in my life!!!