WHAT MAKES SYBELLE AN ASPIE

[bazz]

Well, what is it that makes me an Aspie (person with Aspergers)?

 

 

 

I have a hell of a time if somebody does things different than I do, especially when it is at my home. I used to think this is because I think things through and do them on a logical way, but now I think it is more likely because of Aspergers. I have a hard time watching someones eyes. I got used to it, but when I'm tired it gets harder to do (some people are easy and some are very hard work to watch their eyes). I used to believe every word exactly as it was said when I was younger.

 

 

white lies and other people's motives

 

When I found out that people almost always do kind of comforting lies, I began to be very critical on everything someone says and try to find out what his or her intentions might be. I need to think about peoples motives instead of just feeling them, but then I got quite fast in that so nowadays almost nobody notices.

 

 

 

I had to learn to smile, frown and make the face that would meet my feelings when I was a teenager. I found out at that time that my face did not look as lifely as anyone elses face (especially of cause actresses faces) seemed to look like and so I sat down in front of a mirror and tried out what looks I liked and what not.

 

 

interests and personal space

 

I try to know everything about a subject I'm interested in. Over the years this have been: cats, dogs, wool/spinning/weaving, pottery, doing water color paintings, doing portraits (very hard thing to watch a face for such a long time), gardening/plants, biology (especially genetics), kids (when I started to have some), healthy food and a lot more I forgot over the years. Whatever I'm interested in, starts to become an obsession after a short while.

 

 

 

I got so much things now, I had to drop a lot of them because I don't have enough time. I feel uncomfortable in any crowd (that is more than at least 6 people). And I have the biggest personal space of all people I know, that means when talking to someone else it's me who walks backwards to keep distance.

 

 

Put me in a single-prison

 

There are times that I think it would be okay if one put me in single-prison, giving me enough to eat, all the books I want and a computer with internet. But then I remember I would miss my garden-plant-obsession thing, so this is no option. I put a lot of time and work into being able to act normal only to be accepted when I was a child and teenager, but never was.

 

 

 

I am very sensible to smell and it makes me sick going to a perfumery or smelling someones aftershave/perfume too intense (well, I can smell it even when nobody else does, so it's me and not only people who put on too much of that stuff), on the other hand I love smelling flowers and natural odours (no, not the ones sweating men produce) like gras and the woods after rain and so on. I'm also sensible to certain sounds.

 

reprinted from the stories by adults on the spectrum at http://www.autism-help.org