Wardie Report post Posted September 8, 2007 My year 6 son was diagnosed with Aspergers last year, his behaviour was different from other children but didn't cause us a probem so we only pursued a diagnosis when it became clear that he was likely to struggle at secondary school. We have always managed hs behavious and routine vary carefully, so meltdows at home are rare, he knows the rules and routine and is a loving, ougoing child who is not a problem at home. School too are careful to manage change and support his needs for clear rules so he is doing fine in the classroom. The problems come in unstructured peer group interactions - break time, school clubs, school holiday clubs especially. He finds these situations unsettling and so overreacts to little provocation. I'm really worried what will happen in the free-format of secondary school where things change every hour Has anyone got any tips for things we can do to prepare for next year? I'm worried that he doesn't hesitate to challenge anyone (even if much older than him) when they break his perceptions of any rule. And he doesn't mince his words! Add this to the constant change, I think he will be anxious much of the time and so easily upset at little provocation. I need to help him but since he doesn't see himself as the problem, he doesn't see why he should change his behaviour. Any tips that have worked for any of you would be appreciated. Thanks Wardie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted September 8, 2007 Hi Wardie A few things which helped us were: His TA from primary school continued working with him in secondary school (we were v lucky there) He had extra visits in the term before he started We had a transition meeting which high school were invited too. Plus extra meetings at school leading up to the big day & during 1st term When he started, school adapted things as it became clear he was finding stuff difficult. For instance, after trying break, he was allowed to stay inside to minimise stress. Same at lunchtime. After being bullied in the toilets, he was given a key to the visitors toilets He was allowed to leave lessons if in danger of a meltdown, so he didnt embarrass himself He had a quiet safe place to go to when stressed. Constant communication between home/school via TA. We added her to Friends & Family! It was a very good school & he left with a bunch of qualifications. But it was the hardest time nevertheless. Its the time when conformity matters, and our children dont conform. It will get better though. He adored 6th form. Hope this is some help Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annea Report post Posted September 8, 2007 Hi Wardie, My daughter also A/s was diagnosed in yr 6, she went into yr 9 last week!!! (where have those years gone!! We worried terribly about the transistion and I think you are right to get things in motion now, as it is a huge strain for children without problems never mind those with A/S We had various meeting s abut what would happen when she moved up, but unfortunatle she isn't in a particularly helpful school and the efforts are always half hearted at best... I would say from experiences.... social stories, social stories, social stories..... there are so many things that are different that it helps to give them the scenarios. My daughter is also very rule bound although unlike your son she is timid and turns the anxiety in on herself... Her psychiatrist is working with her now on these issues... I have had to work closely with my daughter, as I don't want her to feel she is a problem, but I think that whatever you do to prepare, it is tricky time.... Are you involved with the ed psych and the sencos of the proposed secondary schools? My daughter had several visits t the school prior to starting so she had a good idea of what 'big school'was like.... you need to get as many people on side as possibe.... it doesn't always work out, but at least you can give your son every chance at a stress free transiton... good luck to you both!! Sorry if I have sounded cynical just a bad time at present... Anne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wardie Report post Posted September 8, 2007 Hi Wardie A few things which helped us were: His TA from primary school continued working with him in secondary school (we were v lucky there) He had extra visits in the term before he started We had a transition meeting which high school were invited too. Plus extra meetings at school leading up to the big day & during 1st term When he started, school adapted things as it became clear he was finding stuff difficult. For instance, after trying break, he was allowed to stay inside to minimise stress. Same at lunchtime. After being bullied in the toilets, he was given a key to the visitors toilets He was allowed to leave lessons if in danger of a meltdown, so he didnt embarrass himself He had a quiet safe place to go to when stressed. Constant communication between home/school via TA. We added her to Friends & Family! It was a very good school & he left with a bunch of qualifications. But it was the hardest time nevertheless. Its the time when conformity matters, and our children dont conform. It will get better though. He adored 6th form. Hope this is some help Thanks Pearl, all really good suggestions. His primary is very good with him and have promised support leading up to transition, I hope the secondary is as good. I'll talk to them about some of your suggestions once his entry is confirmed. You're right about conformance. Whilst I wouldn't want him to be a sheep, there are times when I wince at just how bluntly he expresses his own opinions. I remember being the same - and am not sorry now, but as you say - the hardest time! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wardie Report post Posted September 8, 2007 Hi Wardie, My daughter also A/s was diagnosed in yr 6, she went into yr 9 last week!!! (where have those years gone!! We worried terribly about the transistion and I think you are right to get things in motion now, as it is a huge strain for children without problems never mind those with A/S We had various meeting s abut what would happen when she moved up, but unfortunatle she isn't in a particularly helpful school and the efforts are always half hearted at best... I would say from experiences.... social stories, social stories, social stories..... there are so many things that are different that it helps to give them the scenarios. My daughter is also very rule bound although unlike your son she is timid and turns the anxiety in on herself... Her psychiatrist is working with her now on these issues... I have had to work closely with my daughter, as I don't want her to feel she is a problem, but I think that whatever you do to prepare, it is tricky time.... Are you involved with the ed psych and the sencos of the proposed secondary schools? My daughter had several visits t the school prior to starting so she had a good idea of what 'big school'was like.... you need to get as many people on side as possibe.... it doesn't always work out, but at least you can give your son every chance at a stress free transiton... good luck to you both!! Sorry if I have sounded cynical just a bad time at present... Anne Hi Anna Thanks for your answer. The Ed Psych is seeing him some time this term, and I am told his primary SENCO works closely with the SENCO at the new school. - will find out soon I guess. When you say social stories - School do them with him - where can I get others? Part of our problem is that neither of us is great at social interaction (definite ASD traits in both of us) so I don't know how to make them up. What did you use? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
