DLA at 16

[BuntyB]

We have been claiming DLA for my son since he was 12. He is now about to reach 16 and needs to make a claim in his own right.

When we got the DLA, we didn't tell him (in case he thought it was for games, lol!) but now that I have spoken to him about it, he is mortified. He does not want to make another claim because he doesn't want to associate with 'disability'. I can understand his point of view, because he's had a lot of difficulty coming to terms with what it means to have AS (self-harm etc) and I have been reinforcing the fact that he is not 'abnormal;, just thinks differently and he's accepted that and been more at peace, so this seems to contradict what I have said.

 

I can respect his wishes, it will mean less money coming in, but what I am more concerned about is that DLA opens doors and he could be disadvantaged without it. He is high functioning and hopes to go to Uni, but he will need support. He denies this. he says he does just fine, but that's because he is familiar with his route to school and doesn't go out alone. He still needs me to help with communication; interpreting what people mean and speaking on his behalf, but he doesn't see that.

 

i can't claim on his behalf as being too disabled, because of the fact he is high functioning. Has anyone expereinced this, or got support without a diagnosis or DLA?

[SarahSH]

Hi Shona

 

my son is 16 and doesn't have DLA. He has a similar reaction to what he sees as interfering 'help' which stigmatises him. The help he got at secondary school was like that much of the time unfortunately, despite my best efforts to make it more invisible. (Got an ex-husband who reveres authority and was on their side, which didn't help.)

 

We've found a sixth form (after the usual blood sweat and tears) which is great on invisible help, and has really small groups. It's mainstream but the bad news is it's fee-paying. Me and ex are dividing the cost, and I don't earn that much, but I think it's worth it for the input over the next two or even three years, to set him up for whatever comes next. Hopefully university, but who knows.

 

He does have a diagnosis, though. Does your son? I wonder if that might be enough at that stage to get a bit of support. Bus routes etc can be managed with a bit of planning and practice, can't they - especially as they grow up.

 

my son got the bus home from bowling with his new year group last night - same bus as he gets to come home from school, and from same stop thank goodness, but all the same - really really never thought I'd be able to say that, the bus bit or the bowling bit. New head of year had managed it so that he was in a group with her and some other kids who would not bowl him out of the park, and he didn't come last and had a really nice time! Now that's the kind of help I like!

 

Good luck with sorting out his post-16, it's pretty tough isn't it

Sarah

[NobbyNobbs]

as someone who is currently trying to get DLA because i can't access any of the support i need until i do i say you need to keep up the DLA. university support isn't linked to it, but he'll certainly need it. university is so chaotic and unstructured its a nightmare for people with AS. most adult services need 'proof' and usually want DLA for this so as he gets older if he needs any sort of support he's going to need it.

 

can't help with how to get it though, except to maybe explain the importance to him, and perhaps offer to put the money into savings so he can choose when to use it or not to at all (he'll probably change his mind when hes older and wants to buy something!)