Can I say wow- that course was great

[Moll]

Today I went on a course ran in conjunction with Studio 3 and it was light having a light bulb turned on. Honestly it was the best money I spent this year.

 

Managing Challenging Behaviour in children and Young People with Autism: The Low Arousal Way.

 

It challenged my thinking and attitudes, it helped me understand DS's world and how I need to enter his world to help him rather than drag him kicking and screaming into mine.

 

The background on autism was so useful it pulled everything I had read together but made it make sense, I started to see DS in a new light, then the managing behaviour bit helped me see how I was making things worse for him (not intentionally but with the best will in the world).

 

I have come away with the feeling that to manage his challenging behaviour I must challenge how I mange his behaviour, I am trying to apply rules and norms of society to a child who does not fit in with societies perception of normal, no matter how hard I try I can't make him fit by force so I need to look if X,Y and Z are important and unless what he wants in unsafe, then look at why it is so important.

 

I have tried 2 things so far tonight and I feel so much less stress, I managed to get him to wash the table before tea by making him think he wanted to, I took the time to learn one of his rituals and obsessions rather than just waiting impatiently or getting stressed I got involved and asked him to show me what to do, normally it would of ended in a meltdown.

 

I hope I can make DH understand, because it is just so logical DS does not have a problem with his world, we have a problem with his world but we have the ability to change and adapt quickly he does not, by us changing and adapting we can work with him not against him.

 

Sorry I think I have just found out how evangelical a reformed drinker smoker or some one who has found God can feel.

Edited February 12, 2009 by Moll

[Clare63]

Wow Moll, you sound so inspired, look forward to you passing some of these tips on.

 

Clare x x x

[lynne]

 

 

 

I can remember reading a very inspiraing book which sounds similair to the course you have done.

 

 

The thing the child is doing you have to decide if it is essential for the child to change. Is it worth causing all that stress and disruption trying to get the child to change.

 

 

So the book said you look at the child and score the behaviour. Score C if the behaviour is acceptable. Score B if the behaviour may need changing. Score A if the behaviour/event must be changed.

 

 

Using this method it allows you to idenify what is really important. Hence, it means things like the child flapping his/her hands may annoy you, but is it worth trying to alter the behaviour or stressing yourself and the child. That means you get more relaxed when handling your child and your child becomes more relaxed because he/she is not stressed by needless things.

 

Only the essential things are addressed

 

I hope this makes sense

[baddad]

Hi Moll/all - sounds really interesting.

 

i don't really know of Studio 3, but do know a little about some of the interventions etc in the working environment, where i do think the approach is certainly to be encouraged.

My only concern about taking that approach into the 'domestic' setting would be that residential care does, by definition, introduce an adapted and differentiated environment, and thats not one that can (or should) be replicated if wider social expectations are anticipated. Managing extreme challenging behaviour in a 'safe' environment with trained staff on hand is a very different proposition to managing it alone in a public setting or (i.e.) on a mainstream playground, and there's a balance that needs to be struck. It may well be that the course you attended was on a home based approach, so forgive me if that's the case.

 

L&P

 

BD

[Moll]

The course was about avoiding the behaviour in the first place so not control or restraint or anything like that, it looks at the mind set of the people around autistic people is the behaviour dangerous or does it just get to you? Its about noticing the trigger points and not lighting the match.

 

So what if your child wants to go out without a coat in winter, why fight and have a melt down, put the coat in your bag go out, if the child is cold ask if they want a coat. there is no danger from not wearing a coat, the danger is if they melt down and get violent, so what if people look its their problem, let them stress.

 

low arousal is exactly that it should not cause any conflict with the child, it is appropriate for home or residential, as you are looking at the parents and carers attitudes in relation to the child.

[westie]

Lynne, is the book you are refering to "The Explosive Child" by Ross W Green??? It sounds like it. This is an excellent book in my opinion, and i know other parents have found it useful too. I have loaned my copy to another parent whose child is explosive and inflexible!

 

The course does sound interesting. Glad it has inspired you, and look forward to reading how its going for you

[lynne]

Lynne, is the book you are refering to "The Explosive Child" by Ross W Green??? It sounds like it. This is an excellent book in my opinion, and i know other parents have found it useful too. I have loaned my copy to another parent whose child is explosive and inflexible!

 

 

 

Sorry Moll I can not remember the name of the book. But I do not think it was called the explosive child because it was concerned with the sensory child.

 

It explained such issues as for example the coat issue. With the sensory child (or other ASD children) they may be hot, they may not like the feel of the coat or the weight etc. The child wants to go out without a coat and it is cold. You would score this as a grade B. This is a cause for concern but not necessary for you to do anything, hence you do not challenge the child to put the coat on. Therefore, the child is not stressed or challenge and therefore negative behaviour is avoided, instead of insisting the child puts the coat on and than the child gets upset.

 

Its about supporting the child and it does not matter if this is in the home or in another environment.

 

 

It definately helps you relax and destress.

 

 

 

 

[call me jaded]

Sounds like a lightbulb moment kind of day.

 

Having one cross and angry person instead of two was always easier for us. Detaching myself was a very positive move for us. Hope your successes continue.

[baddad]

So what if your child wants to go out without a coat in winter, why fight and have a melt down, put the coat in your bag go out, if the child is cold ask if they want a coat. there is no danger from not wearing a coat, the danger is if they melt down and get violent, so what if people look its their problem, let them stress.

 

low arousal is exactly that it should not cause any conflict with the child, it is appropriate for home or residential, as you are looking at the parents and carers attitudes in relation to the child.

 

 

Totally agree with the coat thing and (to a degree) about it being the other persons problem/let em look... Effectively, thats just about sorting your priorities and only sweating the big stuff, and makes perfect sense. I do agree with not causing unnecessary conflict for the child, but the real world is full of conflict and if the carers/parents attitude is always one that protects the child from that there's no room for growth. To extend a child's (or adults for that matter) safety zone there has to be a degree of conflict - it is actually a necessary part of human development and personal evolution. In a scenario, say, where the 'coat' is part of school uniform, and the child is in a mainstream school then it may actually be less appropriate to not make a point of wearing it. Of course, there's a possible issue of 'reasonable adjustment', but i think if there's a 'school rule' then that works both ways, regardless of the threat of meltdown.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

L&P

 

BD

[call me jaded]

Give her a break BD. She's just found out how to get a ceasefire and you're wanting her to continue the advance. Even god got a day off.

[baddad]

Give her a break BD. She's just found out how to get a ceasefire and you're wanting her to continue the advance. Even god got a day off.

 

 

 

Good point (although i often think if god hadn't been so workshy he could have sorted a lot of problems by working that extra day! )

Just for the record, moll, i wasn't talking about your personal situation (of which i know absolutely nowt so am in no way qualified to make comment on), and I totally agree that ceasefires etc have a huge part to play in the overall strategy. I'm just making the point that ceasefires should be the precursor to mutually acceptable adjustments.

 

& (now why didn't i hi-jack that emoticon before?!)

 

BD