how do i deal with this

[joybed]

Not been posting on here for a while school holidays work etc but have been browsing a bit rather than posting. I have been waiting to go into hospital for some abdominal surgery (womens stuff won,t bore you with the details) and have just been given my date for the op. At my last consultation i signed the consent form and had a good chat with the consultant who said I will be in hospital for 2-3 days and then discharged home if all is well. Once at home I can,t lift anything heavier than dinner plate for at least six weeks, can,t drive for six weeks and can,t stand for too long. I can deal with resting (although I am so not used to it will be bored in five minutes). The being confined to the house will kill me as i am not a staying in person. However my biggest concern is the not lifting or exerting myself. DH is taking time of work while i am in hospital to look after the kids but after that can,t have more time off. I have no support from family parents don,t live near and don,t have a good relationship with my mother as previously posted, father in law is carer for mother in law who has alztheimers so cant ask them. Have lots of friends but am rubbish at asking for help even though i am the first to offer other people help and don,t have a problem with having other peoples children if they need me too. We live within walking distance to school but Piers is a runner and also tends to lay in the middle of the road and refuse to move this means bodily lifting him while he tantrums, obviously i won,t be able to do this. He is also a fighter and often struggles as you try to dress him he won,t dress himself. I have already stopped lifting both of the twins and have set the seed that i am going into hospital and won,t be able to do this when i come out but will be able to give cuddles read books etc. I have also spoke to Piers about the need to sensibly walk to school but I am not sure he understood. I could ask my niece to move in with us for a while but again don,t want to put her out. I know I am going to have to ask for help but it doesn,t come easily. We have been referred to social services for help also. Any other tips, how can i get Piers to understand I also know Marcus will be very worried I am in hospital but will also be very put out i can,t drive him anywhere.

[isme]

Hope the op goes well!

I know that when Ben was younger I had nightmares with him and then went and had 2 more babies via c section so I do sympathise. He didnt really "get it" at all until I came out and it was a bit more obvious itms?

We were told to do stories with him etc but again it depends on ages concerned!

Sorry, no help what so ever, but I hope it all goes as well as it can do..

[Karen A]

Hi.I think it would be worth pushing for a Social Services assessment for some short term support for when you come out of hospital.It is not easy to get but it I think it is reasonable to ask.

I know somone else on the Forum posted about being post -op and explaining to a child with ASD that mum was sore and could not cope with rough play.I will try a search and see if I can find the thread.Otherwise a Social Story or picture cards to show ''no jumping on mum sore tummy '' might help. Karen.

[Karen A]

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...mp;hl=operation

This might help.

Edited to add.I found the other link I was thinking of and Kathryn suggested direct payments and posted this link.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/CaringForSomeo...ers/DG_10018517

Karen.

Edited April 15, 2009 by Karen A

[Kathryn]

Hopefully you will get some help from SS, a friend of mine succeeded in getting an escort to walk her children to school for about 3 months when she broke her ankle. But don't be afraid to ask friends and your niece too. They're unlikely to be offended - may even feel pleased to be asked, and they can only say "no" if they aren't available. People who aren't available every day may be happy to offer help once a week with the school run etc, or even with a bit of cooking and shopping.

 

I hope it goes well - make sure you take care of yourself.

 

K x