Stuck at dead end

[Clarypuff]

Hey. Just when you think it could only get better. OH left me, said he couldn't deal with my problems and his own. Nice. Had breakdown, on lots of anti-depressants, still can't cope with DS on my own, stuck in this house 24/7 as he can't be left. Sleeps all day, refuses school, I have no life left now. Complaints about CAMHS and SS still ongoing, no support in place even after mental health team requested. MP wrote letters but still nothing. SW told me if DS had any other disability it would all be in place but disabled child team don't do ASD's. Want to get out of this rut but don't know how. My self esteem is rock bottom, hard just to get thru the day/night. Son is great guitarist so thought I might take him to some gigs but I seem to embarrass him. He said Im having a mid life crisis cos I dyed my hair red and had another tattoo! Plus money is a huge issue, DS last 3 months mobile bills total £600. Can't block subscription services apparently. I had to give up my job to care for him, don't feel I'm doing a very good job tho. So isolated, esp without OH. Positive suggestions urgently required please.

[dana]

Hi ,

I am really sorry that you are now on your own and have to struggle with all these problems by yourself. <'> >< <'>

The only advise I can offer you is what I have done recently. I have contacted the organisation called Face-to-Face ( got their nomber at GP surgery notice board). They are trained parents of ASD and other SEN children who voluntarely help other parents. The person comes once a week to my house and help me with support and advise. They are all over England and maybe they are in the place where you live.

I am sorry I cannot be more helpful . Be strong for your son but don't forget to take care of yourself.

I am thinking of you.

 

Danaxxx

[Clarypuff]

Hi Dana, thanks for support <'> this is my second attempt at reply, crashed last time! I'm just so isolated. SS paid for course with local charity called ADD-vance, they were very good but only lasted 8 weeks went to support group but felt really out of place, only one there with teenage late dx and associated problems. Didn't want to scare them with my experiences. Its hard to explain to people with primary school children the impact the lack of support has had on all our lives. Despairing at the moment.

[call me jaded]

Do you have a Carer's rights Service near you? You could do with help to get your own needs higher up the agenda - they might be able to do something through a carer's assessment as your son doesn't fit the Children's Services criteria.

Edited June 8, 2009 by call me jaded

[Clarypuff]

Requested carers assessment in Feb, it was done last week. Took phone calls from me weekly and mental health team hassling to get it tho. Don't know whats going to happen yet, SW said no respite outside of DCT, no direct payments, she's going to look into connexions. I feel like they're fobbing me off til he's not their problem anymore. And I heard its harder to access adult services without a statement in school. I'm sorry, all I ever do is post negative here, but I feel so stuck.

[call me jaded]

That's OK!

 

What about a letter to the director of Children's Services asking them to advise you in writing in what way autism is not a disability under the Disability Discrimination Act? Copy it to your local councillor and whoever Chairs the Childrens Services scrutiny Panel (you'll find them under your local council's website). Send a copy to your local newspaper!

 

Thinking about it, the Equalities Commission (formerly the DRC) might be able to help. Also the Children's Legal Service might be able to do something for your son. He's entitled to an education.

 

Don't give up!

Edited June 8, 2009 by call me jaded

[sadie]

Nothing useful to add, but sorry you find yourself in such a place. Didn't want to read and run so sending you lots of these <'> <'> <'>.