New and needing advice

[lisa2701]

Hi everyone,

 

I've just recently had a diagnosis of autism for my 4 year old son. I have found that my sons agression and frustrations have went through the roof since the school holidays started a few weeks back, and i'm really struggling with how to stay sane and help him.

One of the things i am worried about is that he has recently started becoming angry and lashing out at the dogs in our family. I myself have 2, and my mum has 4 (one of which is a puppy) and i spend a LOT of time at my mums. He never used to mind the dogs, infact i'd say he loved them before but they are now becoming the targert of his frustrations. His frustration does seem to get worse when they are brought in so i'm thinking that something about the dogs are upsetting him but i'm not sure what. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks lisa xx

[Sally44]

Sometimes you need to ask the direct question to get an answers eg. 'are the dogs bothering you'. If he says yes, ask him 'what is bothering you'. It might be that they knock over his toys, or they smell bad to him etc. If he is losing his temper I wouldn't leave him alone, especially with the puppy as he might hurt it without realising.

[Sally44]

Another thought - or it might be that the other adults interaction with the dogs is interrupting his focus of attention. My own son used to hate me trying to talk to him when he was playing. And once he got really upset at a family gathering and stomped off upstairs saying that he could play because we were making too much noise and he kept forgetting his play. He meant we kept breaking his concentration and distracting him. That might be another possibility.

[Kathryn]

Could it be the noise of the dogs barking - especially if it's high pitched? My daughter loves dogs, but a few years ago she went through a phase of extreme noise sensitivity, when she was stressed about other things, and reacted badly to dogs.

 

Just another thought to consider!

 

K x

 

 

[lisa2701]

hi,

 

I have tried to ask him if the dogs are bothering him and he replies that they are making him angry, but i can never work out what they are doing to make him angry. He is sensitve to noise and the dogs are very vocal and hyper , however, they have always been this way and they have never bothered him till now. He doesn't play with toys really so never has things lying around to be knocked over (this was a problem when he was obsessed with thomas and they kept breaking his track) and they are generally bathed on a weekly basis as my mum shows her dogs so shouldn't be smelly. I have gotten to the point where i can not trust him with the dogs and its getting very stressful to be unable to do simple things like make a cup of tea etc without taking all dogs or my son with me where ever i go. Its also heartbreaking to see something that used to give him such pleasure now causing him so much stress. I must admit i am extrememly lucky that we own such lovely natured dogs and hopefully there confidence and trust in him can continue untill we can work out what is happening.

 

Thanks lisa xx

[Sally44]

Try to ask him how they are making him angry.

The only other thing I can suggest is to follow whatever he tells you. Although you say they are clean and don't bother his playing etc that is your opinion and not his.

I also have many sensory issues and my son is even more sensitive than me. Many times I have mentioned things to school and they have said "but it isn't loud, smelly, it feels okay" etc etc. But they are coming to that conclusion from using their own sensory perception. My son's perception is different. If it is smelly it him then that is how it is regardless of how clean the area, house, dogs are.

I spoke to a parent recently who said their son could tell them what supermarket a canned food product had come from simply by smelling it. That gives you an idea of how sensitive their senses can be.

My own mother (who may has Aspergers, but never diagnosed) frequently talks about a time some years ago when she said that the milk tasted strange and therefore poured it all away. My dad thought she had gone mad. However on the news that evening it said that the milk had been contaminated with a chemical and that although no-one had noticed, the chemical had got into the milk, and gave assurances that the chemical was not harmful. My mum had noticed the difference in the smell and taste of the milk.

So try to get some further information from him. I found it helpful to explain to my son and I, and other people, did not experience things as he did. Ie. if he thought something smelt bad he used to think that everyone thought or experienced the same thing as him. I told him that that was not the case and that he had to tell people what he was experiencing.

Hope you get some info from him. It might just be the noise and general distraction they cause.

But you are right to not leave him alone with them.

Our dogs have just had puppies and although my son is interested in them and does take care of them, I would still not leave him alone with them.