Babylicious Report post Posted October 14, 2009 Hi, I haven't posted in a while as life has been a bit hectic. Paris has gone down hill the last couple of months and we are still getting no where with Cahms, on my last visit the Pyscologist told me she was underweight and skirted round the aspergers diagnosis, seems he is trying to avoid refering us to the asd panel for further help. We are already attending family therapy, which is helping. There is an on going complaint regarding him going through but I've not heard anything in weeks. I just feel like I am failing Paris, she's awful at the moment in terms of her behaviour I feel like I can't be bothered with her and that everything is such an effort. Each day I get reports from the teachers that she's attacked people/sworn/spat etc. I have such a loving relationship with my son yet I feel like I am loosing a battle with getting close to Paris. Any advice with how to cope with this? I want a better relationship with her Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NobbyNobbs Report post Posted October 14, 2009 we go through this with our foster kids (some of which we get very attached to). you get so bogged down in all the battles and things that need to be improved and worked on that you stop seeing all the good things. it exhausts you mentally and physically and then everything is even harder because you're tired on top of everything else! perhaps you could make a list of things that she likes doing/is good at and make time to do those things more often. it should help her by giving her a time when she isn't in trouble, and help you because you get to see your lovely daughter which helps motivate you to keep fighting. we also have days/weeks when we feel they are particulalry struggling when we back off and say 'ok, you're having a sad/cross day/time, how about we just slow down and do whatever'. we spent yesterday afternoon cuddled up on the sofa with our little one watching cbeebies and reading stories after she got in so much trouble in the morning at nursery she spent hours screaming and crying because she couldn't stop being naughty. today shes back to normal and is managing her behaviour a bit better. as for the school hopefully if shes calmer and happier at home her behaviour will improve at school (i know its not always the way but i'm a firm believer in 'try one thing, then if it doesn't work, try another') Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandapanda Report post Posted October 15, 2009 Hi Babylicious You might need to be careful not to get dragged in to telling her off all the time, because the school are saying she has done those things. Bad behaviour, in my experience, is a sign of unhappiness, frustration and confusion. She will need quiet time with you and reassurance. Does she like making cakes, or something else you can do together? I think you may need to detach yourself from what the school are telling you and try and 'rediscover' your daughter, otherwise she may withdraw and it could be very difficult to get through to her. You need to keep lines of communication open between yourself and your daughter, so that eventually she may be able to tell you what her problems are. I know how exhausting it can be. <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Babylicious Report post Posted October 15, 2009 Thank you, we are trying to spend as much time as possible with her, she's just so difficult to get close too. I feel awful at the moment as she's also been lying to people at school which I've just had a phone call about. I really feel like I am being driven potty Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
