saxophone disappointment and inflexible thinking

[kerryt84]

I started playing the saxophone in October and had been set the challenge of taking grade 1 in May this year. I have very high expectations of myself and so have said I will do grade. I have played the clarinet for several years in the past so it's not as if I'm a total beginner, but it will still be a challenge. Also I will only be happy if I get a distinction, and will see it as a failure if I get any less (just my personality).

 

The problem started when I tried to find a teacher as I know I need some guidance. I rang up lots of teachers, which was very stressful for me. I wanted someone who would come to my house as I will find it very stressful going to someone elses house. All the people I rang said I would have to go to their house. One person who I thought sounded really good wasn't in when I rang and the person that answered took lots of details and said they would get her to ring me. But she never called. My boyfriend said I should ring back, but my thinking is so black and white that I give people 1 chance and if they lose that chance I can't give another one. Then I got really upset and had a bit of a meltdown as I thought I would get a teacher easily and when I didn't, couldn't cope. After thinking it over I decided if I want to do well in my exam I will have to go to the teacher's house. So I rang a girl who I had spoken to who sounded really nice and said I couldn't find someone to come to my house so could I have a lesson with her. She said she was a bit busy so could she ring me back. But it's been 2 days and still no phone call. Now I feel close to a meltdown again, because I just want a teacher. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy because I refuse to ring someone back as I see it as I don't want a lesson with someone who is unprofessional and doesn't ring back. He doesn't realise how inflexible my thinking can be yet.

 

So what do you think I should do? And also does anyone else experience being so inflexible?

[caci]

I think the reason they don't want to come to your house is probably based on the fees they charge.

 

I have no idea how much a lesson is, but if a tutor can be at home and the pupils come to him/her, then the charge would only be for the time of the lesson, whereas if a tutor was travelling they would need to charge for that time too.

 

 

[Kathryn]

Caci may be right, but I do know of teachers who go to their pupils, so there probably are some around if you keep looking.

 

There could be many reasons why someone doesn't ring back straight away and it doesn't necessarily mean they're behaving unprofessionally - they could just be busy, and if they're in high demand that suggests they're good at what they do! I think your boyfriend is right. As you are the one seeking the service, I think the onus is on you to do the ringing, and persevere until you find someone suitable. If someone says they'll ring back, maybe leave it for a week and then try them again. If there's no answer the second time, it probably means they aren't interested.

 

Good luck!

 

K x

[kerryt84]

I can completely understand why they wouldn't want to come out, and I have now accepted that. I know I should give them a second chance if they don't get back to me but I don't know if I can. I will wait a week like Kathryn said and then will hopefully decide to ring again.

[kerryt84]

So.........................................The saxophone teacher just rang me and apologised for not getting in touch sooner. I've booked a lesson. Serves me right for being so impatient

[Tally]

Glad it's worked out! I hope it goes well.

[Kathryn]

Glad that turned out OK in the end. Hope you enjoy the lessons and achieve you goal

 

K x