How could I contact others in my area?

[Bloodheart]

Although I've no formal diagnosis yet, I'm pretty certain I have Asperger's.

 

I'm still a little scared about going to my doctors to ask about getting started on the diagnosis path, I get the impression that it's going to be tough as it is, and I'm not going to be able to talk with professionals easily which will make it hard (this is something that has always struck me - if you're a person who has problems with talking to people, how the hell are you supposed to talk to a stranger in a new place, when it's a stressful situation?!!), I have problems remembering things from my childhood but no one else to really give evidence for me - apart from maybe my boyfriend. I can give a list of examples of why I think I have Asperger's, and I am working on trying to remember problems from my childhood, it's hard, but I'm still a little uneasy.

 

One problem I have is that if I am going somewhere, or if I am talking to someone, then I need to know EXACTLY how it is going to pan-out, what I'm going to say, how I should act, and what they're going to do/say. It's only been in recent years I've managed to go to doctors on my own, but I really cannot make this trip easier by taking someone with me because sometimes having someone with me makes me feel even more uncomfortable - it is contradictory, I know, but I cannot explain why I need someone with me in one situation, but cannot have someone with me in the next O_o

 

I'd like to have before seeing my GP about this, to put myself at ease, is to have a full understanding of Asperger's.

It's all well and good reading a list of characteristics or talking to people online, but another to actually know or meet someone with Asperger's - I think being able to meet with others may be beneficial for me, to see what people with Asperger's are like, how similar or dissimilar they are to me. I had an ex who was Autistic in some way, but I was a bit different to him in that I deal better with lots of people than he did and can cope with people making physical contact with me, also he generally does tick more of the boxes of stereotypical behaviour and characteristics of a person with asperger's or autism. So I don't think I can get a good idea about people who are Autistic or who have Asperger's from being with just that one person.

 

My point...(finally)

 

I'd really like to be able to meet others with Asperger's - how would I go about doing that?

 

I imagine that there would be support groups, but would they welcome someone into the support group who just wants to meet them and who is not [officially] asperger's themselves? How would I find such support groups? I've not been able to find any via internet, and not sure how to go about finding them. Out of interest, while on the subject, how do such groups benefit adults with asperger's?

 

Are support groups for Asperger's the best place to see what people with asperger's are like?

I would imagine in some situations support groups would have more parents of children with asperger's looking for support, or maybe people where their traits are very obvious or problematic for them, where as if I do have asperger's I've managed to learn to deal with it quite well - although I would point out that friends/family do notice there is something non-typical about me - would I be able to compare myself to people in a support group who may struggle more with their problems than I do? Understand what I mean?

[Tally]

Hi Bloodheart,

 

I can understand your concerns about seeking a formal diagnosis. I was convinced I had Asperger's for a couple of years before I raised the issue. It did not go well and it was about two more years before I saw a private diagnostician who did diagnose me. The NAS may be able to advise you on seeking a diagnosis and how to approach the issue with your GP. They also run some social groups for adults with ASD, and might be a good place to start looking for one.

 

I would say that a social/support group would be a really good way to meet others with Asperger's and help you learn a bit more about the condition and whether it still makes sense to you. Given the difficulties obtaining a diagnosis, I would have thought that you would be able to attend even though you are not diagnosed. With or without a diagnosis, there is very little support for adults with AS. The best support I have found has been from meeting other autistic adults (in person and online), and discussing our difficulties and finding suggestions to help get around them. You don't need a formal diagnosis to do that, but a diagnosis may still bring you the peace of mind that you are on the right track.

 

If you have often felt like you don't fit in, then meeting people with Asperger's might suddenly give you a place where you do fit in. On the other hand, you may find you are still quite different from them and you don't even fit in there. My meetings with other Asperger adults have been somewhere in the middle, as I am not really like a stereotypical aspie, though I do have a lot in common with several women aspies I have met. When I looked into an Asperger social group a few years ago, I was put off from attending by the organiser because I would have been the only female in the group and she felt I was a lot more able than the others. I now attend a social club for adults with learning disabilities. It is a very poor fit because most of the other people have developmental delays, whereas I am relatively intelligent in an IQ sense. If you can't find anything specifically for ASD, then you might need to look into several different sources of support and take a little from each, rather than finding everything you want from one group. I'm looking at trying some interest groups, such as walking and possibly a monthly Mensa meeting and a mental health drop in centre.

 

The first time I met other autistic adults I really threw myself into the deep end and met with a very large group for a residential event. I am able to hold down a job and at the time a marriage as well, so I saw myself as fairly "high-functioning." I did meet other people who seemed very stereotypically autistic and who have considerable difficulties. However, I also met highly successful people who live independently and hold down successful careers. There are a real mix of people with ASD, and you might find that you have to look for smaller things in common, rather than expecting to find loads of people just like yourself.

 

Sorry, I have rambled on quite a bit there! I hope you can find something useful in amongst it

Edited May 23, 2010 by Tally

[Mumble]

If you are concerned about any behavioural traits/characteristics in yourself, then it is these that you should be taking to the GP for possible referral, not modelled characteristics based on presumed/observed ASD behaviours. You may actually be doing yourself a disservice in that you start to become what you believe yourself to be and as such do not present a true picture of your difficulties. There is nothing to say that any behaviour you see in someone diagnosed with ASD is because of their ASD. Everyone with an ASD is still an individual.

 

I have problems remembering things from my childhood but no one else to really give evidence for me - apart from maybe my boyfriend. I can give a list of examples of why I think I have Asperger's, and I am working on trying to remember problems from my childhood, it's hard, but I'm still a little uneasy.

Without a reliable childhood informant, you will struggle to get a diagnosis via the NHS.