such a shame

[emmasmum]

My daughter, 15, was diagnosed last year with Aspergers.

 

We applied for DLA and it was awarded. At the time she was suffering from depression so I wanted to use the money on something that might give her confidence. She'd stopped horseriding lessons a few years earlier due to the costs so I asked her if she wanted to start up again. She wasn't over excited at the prospect but I thought once she got into it she might enjoy it and it would give her something to look forward to.

 

Our local YMCA offers equestrian camps and I thought that might be a good thing for her to do. I suggested it, half expecting her to say no, but she said she'd like to go so we booked up. About 5 weeks ago, I had to change the date due to my Mum being unwell and us needing to visit. They offered a refund by my daughter said she wanted to go so we changed the date.

 

Last week we got back from visiting Mum and she said she wasn't going to riding camp. I tried to talk to her about her worries but she said she didn't know why but she just didn't want to go. Today was the day she was meant to go. I asked her to just go today and meet the people - offered to pick her up this evening if she didn't think she'd enjoy it - I will be there every day dropping my son off at daycamps so also offered that if at any time she wasn't happy I could collect her.

 

It ended up with her completely losing it. She said she'd only said she'd go to make me happy, but as it got nearer she realised she just couldn't face spending the week in a place she didn't know with people she didn't know. We've had to phone and leave a message to say she won't be going.

 

It's her last year of school this year, then she'll have to leave and go to college - I really worry for the future - she hates change and doesn't want to grow up, but it's going to happen regardless.

 

Thanks for listening,

 

 

Carol

[coolblue]

Hi Carol

 

I think it might just have been too much for your daughter all at once. Mine used to do this a lot when she was younger. Change needs to be gradual and managed carefully so it isn't overwhelming. Sometimes it needs to be very gradual and managed very carefully.

 

When your daughter leaves school and starts college she doesn't have to leave home for a week to start off with. Instead you could break the process down into small steps and take one at a time. A very gradual transition and she should be fine.

 

cb

[emmasmum]

Thanks.

 

I wasn't very clear but she has been having riding lessons since the beginning of the year - but I think you're right - the camp was too much too soon - it's also not at the place where she has her lessons.

 

Carol

xx