3 1/2 year old possible Aspergers

[choochoo]

Hi everyone

 

I have a 3 1/2 year old boy and we are just waiting for an appointment to come through to see the child psychologist about his behaviour and possible Aspergers. We have taken him to the docs on a number of occasions regarding this now the doctor has agreed this is the path to take.

 

My son has always been hard work - i originally took him to see the health visitor and doctor to find out if a) there was a problem with his development etc or b)this is just the way he is and we have to get used to it and get on with it! The health visitor was very rude and said he had behavioural issues and sent him to the speech therapist. his speech was slow in coming - we went to the speech therapist last year but she didnt see a problem. His moods/tantrums and this stage were huge - lasting all day at times - i would be driving and if i turned left he would going crazy telling me we where going the wrong way, and this would last hours - there would be no reasoning with him, no amount of bribery worked with him, sticker charts have never worked and if i walked away when the tantrums were happening this still wouldnt stop him as it had with my other children. if i went to cuddle him or hold his hand he would shoo me away - i commented to my husband on a number of occasions that i didnt think he would notice if either of us were not there with him. he has always had quirky little ways about him and when he was a toddler we would say he had a touch of ocd about him as he would line up his cars in a particular order or would stand by the window ledge and play with a house of people for ages, always in order.

 

we sent him to nursery when he was 2 as it was such a strain at home with him - he walked straight in and that was that - no tears. as he has got older, his tantrums are less frequent, but his mood can change from 0 to 60 in a few seconds and he is becoming quite violent with them. he bite his older brothers back at the weekend, and he tries to smack me in the face at the moment when he is angry about things. it doesnt really matter how you try and get him out of his state nothing can calm him down. it is hard for his brothers who dont really understand what he is doing. his older brother always wants him to play with him but when asked he just says "no" and repeats this. he will play with him sometimes but more no than yes. if you take him away from something he is doing he reacts angrily. when he is playing by himself he get totally engrossed in what he is doing. he wanted to read books - so he got every single book from his room, and then from the playroom and spent a week looking at them and telling the stories.

 

if strangers try and speak to him he just turns his back and says no or mummy and looks very uncomfortable. if we go to the park or softplay he goes off and plays by himself - i watch him a lot at the moment, and sometimes he looks at the other children as if he wants to join in but something stops him. if another child speaks he may talk or stand there looking at them, but never really plays, but if my older sons friends come to the house he tries to join in. i have asked nursery what he is like, does he interact with other children and they dont seem to think there is a problem - but i dont think they are looking closely enough - they like to tell me heis great on the computer!!

 

my husband and me have been saying for the last 2 years at least should we get him checked out, as he really is such hard work - he is more loving now than he was - and now we are waiting for his appointment i feel guilty, and wonder if he is just shy and sensitive and i should just get on with it.

 

sorry for going on - i just wanted to know what you thought about the situation.

 

many thanks

[Beth_]

 

my husband and me have been saying for the last 2 years at least should we get him checked out, as he really is such hard work - he is more loving now than he was - and now we are waiting for his appointment i feel guilty, and wonder if he is just shy and sensitive and i should just get on with it.

 

Not being a parent myself I can't offer much advice. What I can say is that I think you are right in asking for help and going to see someone about this. I think it's better for you to try and find out than possibly leave a child undiagnosed when there is a problem. Once you know what is going on with your son, the better equiped you will be to deal with his problems.

I'm sure many of the parents on here will have much better advice for you

[Karen A]

Hi choochoo and Welcome to the Forum.

 

I have Ben who is 12 and was diagnosed with AS about eighteen months ago.

Ben was never picked up at nursery as having any difficulties.He was thought to be bright with a bit of an attitude problem.He related very well to adults rather than children his own age.I think nursery thought he just did not like to play the games most children his age played because he was bright.The nursery was an excellent nursery.However another boy who was there was also diagnosed with AS subsequently.They did not spot him either.

 

Karen.

[Loz1973]

Hi, I have a similar situation with my 4 ½ year old son although it did me longer to realise that there was something going on. I guess I was in denial , and up until about a year ago, he never really gave me any bother. He has two very boisterous older sisters aged 5 and 6 who demand a lot of attention and I guess because he was so quiet in comparison that I let him just get on with it. He seemed content with his own company and I thought he was shy and sensitive, but now I realise there is more to it than that.

 

In the last year however, some behaviours have become very noticeable. The abrupt changes in mood which no one can seem to bring him out off, obsessive behaviours, angry outbursts. He also bit his sister on the back and stabbed her in the chest with a pen. It seemed to be out of frustration or anger, but he didn’t seem to realise that he’d done wrong. He can also become very withdrawn and at times, particularly in new situations, he won’t speak to people. He’ll start by pretending they’re not there and if they continue to interact, they may get a nod or shake of the head, but it will take a lot for him to talk. He also has what I call a vacant look at times - his eyes seem unfocused, his face uncomprehending.

 

He is a very bright little boy with a great memory for numbers and number associations (his favourite obsession). And like your son, he used to line his cars up against the wall but I think my daughter used to the same thing and there’s clearly no issues with her.

 

But all in all, if you’re concerned it’s for a reason. I think as a parent we instinctively know when something’s not right so I would continued to pursue a diagnosis/support.

 

Only 2 weeks ago my son was diagnosed with Social and Communication difficulties and hypermobility (poor muscle tone). The two are linked to Aspergers and am fully expecting that when we go for the CDAC check next year that this will be the formal dx. But they don’t formally dx until the child is at least 5 and has started reception. It’s a long road I’m afraid but you just need to keep pushing.

 

Hope this helps, Loz.