VacantxEyes Report post Posted January 4, 2011 Hi all, I've joined the site as I'm currently in a serious relationship with someone who has Aspergers. As you will all know, it's nothing like a standard relationship, and although it's more rewarding than any other relationship (romantic OR platonic) I've ever had, sometimes I'm left ready to tear my hair out. I've been looking online for support groups and help for those who love someone with Aspergers, and a couple of websites pointed me in the direction of this forum. My boyfriend was told he had mild Aspergers when he was diagnosed (only 2 years ago), but however "mild" it may be, it's caused a few problems so far; problems I think can be easily overcome with a little work, as we're absolutely besotted. He's recently mentioned his plan to propose, but a lot of "friends" have been advising me against becoming "tied to someone like that". I'm really hoping to hear from people who are married to someone with Aspergers, or anyone who can advise at all really! Very happy to have found this forum Laura Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EdRo Report post Posted January 4, 2011 Welcome aboard! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 4, 2011 Hi Laura, and welcome to the forum. My real name is Laura too I am an adult with Asperger's. I was already married when I got diagnosed. My marriage failed due to many reasons, not really much to do with Asperger's I don't think. My husband had increasingly severe mental health problems and in the end I just could not cope and he did not want to seek treatment. I can understand your friends' concerns in a way, as my husband became unable to do anything for himself and it was really hard work to look after him. But Asperger's is different to mental illness, and people with AS can always learn new skills. Having been diagnosed only 2 years ago, Asperger's will still be quite new to your boyfriend. He probably still has a lot to learn about himself and what skills he still needs to learn. For now, the best things is probably for the both of you to learn as much as you can about Asperger's, work out where your differences lie, and try to find a way of meeting in the middle. No relationship will be without hurdles, but Asperger's can definitely make relationships confusing. Probably for both parties! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VacantxEyes Report post Posted January 4, 2011 Thank you for that, it was very helpful. I agree with it being best for us to research and see how it goes. I think the hardest part is consciously thinking before doing and saying anything, to make sure I don't hint at things or say the opposite to the real meaning etc. Very confusing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
