To Tell or Not To Tell

[Alphazebra]

I am 27, Male and based on the opinion of my counsellor and myself an Aspie. I exhibit most of the common diagnostic traits of Asperger's Syndrome although I have not offically been diagnosed. I have only been aware of Asperger's Syndrome for several months, I always just thought I was different from everyone else and never understood, not that I do now, why. One thought has come up over the last few weeks of whether I should tell my friends. As I said, I exhibit most of the traits of AS and that includes the limited social abilites and problems making friends. I don't mind this as such. I enjoy my own company and in many cases would much rather spend time on my own or with a select few people than any others. That is were my question comes from. I do have a select few friends who I do spend time with occasionally and have considered telling them about my AS. Has anyone else gone through these thoughts and what decisions did you make? Did you find telling the few people you do spend time with beneficial, or did you find it complicating?

 

I should just say that my parents and my girlfriend do know about my AS, but currently they are the only people (apart from me, my counsellor and now anyone reading this post ;o) ).

[baddad]

Hi Alphazebra -

Must be a funny time for you right now; finding some answers, I guess, buit lots of new questions as a consequence! The good'll outweigh the bad, I'm sure...

So far as telling your friends goes, i don't think it matters either way, 'cos they just accept you as "Alphazebra" regardless, no? The diagnosis hasn't 'changed' anything, just (hopefully) helped explain a few things...

In your position, I'd just go with the flow: if it comes up or seems relevant at some point, tell 'em, if it don't - well it doesn't!

Whatever you decide, very very best

BD

[Alphazebra]

That makes sense, thanks for the reassurance.

[Hectorshouse]

I didn't find out until I was 30 something! The dx came along after my son's when I started to look at myself and think hmmmm I do that ... etc ... it hasn't changed me really and I haven't told many people, but it has explained soooo many things to me that I was struggling with before .. i.e I am often called very blunt, I have a much better ability with the written word than the spoken word, I'm sooo OCD, cannot abide change, and suffered with depression and extreme anxiety most of my life, I also had hallucinations and night terrors as a child, and still occassionally have day time hallucinations now, something I don't actually tell to many people! Didn't realise the significance of this until I read a thread on here about it. There is more, but no need to go into too much detail.

 

I am still ME though, and the friends that I do have take me for what I am.

 

HHxx

[Suze]

Hi ....AZ and HH can relate to you both!....When my son was dx and I started to mention to the physch my routines........wiping ,plumping cushions ,hating changed plans ,smells , cycles of obsessive behaviours......he looked at me and referred me to a colleague! .....It took time and anti ds but I have eventually excepted myself I stopped short of a dx because regardless I am who I am and knowing why I am the way I am was what I needed most. Self esteem is still non - existent but I,m working on it! I told very few people because I genuinely only like a few very close people ( have many pals but don,t trust peeps easily) and those I told excepted me as me so it made no difference . Talking can help but I,ve found a forum like this a huge help chatting and discussing issues with others in similar situations has BRILLLLLL !!!! . Stay around AZ .