UnusualPatronus Report post Posted November 7, 2014 This is a post that might seem a little strange, it is not intended as a topic of discussion, it is more of a personal thought, but obviously a thought that I am willing to share. Its main purpose is to help me drag my own thoughts out onto paper. I have always done this over the years ... thought about my own thoughts as I wield a pen or else type endlessly. Cultivating the flow of my speech, word for word ... thought for thought. Speaking to myself through the strange, yet wonderful medium of language. How strange it is, how powerful just a few words can be. I write because I do not understand myself, I almost feel as though I have no self. My mind is a raging storm of images, a whirlwind of memories whipped up by the winds of time, ever growing. Relentless, unceasing, yet beautiful and calm at the eye of the storm. How can I bring about understanding in this maelstrom of visions, how can I understand my thoughts ... With words? Words were once my enemy. A nemesis, a force to be feared. My use of words and even my own understanding of what I wanted to say, were once, almost none existent. People talking calmly, people shouting loudly ... a noise with an essence of familiarity as I stare endlessly, unknowing. The lights turned on at six years old. My mind woke up, fully awake and stretched its legs. No going back ... How quickly I learnt ... I am a little person. I am awake. I am ready! My emotions are pictures. Pictures that are so beautifully and powerfully evoking, that I am often utterly powerless to understand them. How do you describe the most beautiful picture you have ever seen ... how do you even begin to understand it. Images so haunting that they can tear at the soul. Death, destruction ... pain! Words will set you free, unlock your emotions and focus your understanding. Let them! I am a person. No more or no less than any person who has lived before me or will live after me. I am the same as you. You are the same as me ... we are the same. We live, love and die! The difference lies in our understanding ... though we are the same our lives are different. Our thoughts are different and so are our feelings. I have thoughts, I have feelings, I have emotion, I am aware. 'I think, therefore I am.' René Descartes I am not a philosopher nor am I a greatly educated mind ... I am simply a thinker, a questioner, a child of curiosity ... a dreamer. Though I am confused. There is something missing. The social expectations of the world are not only daunting, they're ever changing. So has it been the norm throughout my life. If socialising were a war The war would be one that is fought over expression, the battle grounds would be the company of others, the weapons would be the words and feelings, and the casualties ... the casualties would be the weak! Socialising isn't a war. If it were, I would be prepared! It is easy to copy the strengths of others, to imitate ... to act. But to what avail. At what cost is it acceptable to not be yourself? The pressures of acting, the guilt of deceiving, the feelings of vulnerability, the hope of acceptance and fear of failure ... I have never been myself, I fear that I have no self ... I have thoughts and feelings, though I have no voice. The voice I speak with is not my own! It is the voice and voices of every actor and actress that I care to remember, it is the voice of my family and distant friends, the voice of work colleagues and strangers. It is the voice of a thousand people all speaking at once. Who am I? The fact that I can write is my saviour, though I think in pictures, words are my friend. They extend my thought, my very sense of Being, bringing clarity to my understanding. Without words ... I would be nothing. Without words my thoughts my thoughts would fall silently into an abyss as before, when the lights were out. One day my words will show me who I am, until that day I'll write to discover myself a little bit at a time. I only wish to say what is right, what is just and fair. I do care and I do give a damn, for I am a person just like you ... I just express it differently ... We are all different in our thinking and thoughts. This post is deep in thinking, I hope it causes no embarrassment Thank you for reading A thought Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dotmarsdotcom Report post Posted November 7, 2014 excellent post mate. thanks for sharing. it's good sometimes to get the thoughts out eh? all the best. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UnusualPatronus Report post Posted November 8, 2014 Yes, it is. I often write, sometimes too much, in both senses of the matter. Thanks and nice to meet you mate Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mihaela Report post Posted November 8, 2014 My thoughts on your thoughts - How strange it is, how powerful just a few words can be. I write because I do not understand myself, I almost feel as though I have no self.Most people don't understand themselves, let alone bother to try. They don't question themselves or their existence in the world. We can never entirely understand ourselves (or others) but we can get very close, but the truth will always lie a little further away - like Tantalus and his hanging fruit.How do you describe the most beautiful picture you have ever seen ... how do you even begin to understand it.Beauty is beyond words, a great mystery. Recognising it inspires us, and it's part of what makes us fully human. Words will set you free, unlock your emotions and focus your understanding.True liberty is the freedom to be ourselves while harming none. True, words do set us free, but there's a freedom that lies beyond words, where words become inadequate and clumsy.You are the same as me ... we are the same. We live, love and die!True again. Our fleeting existence is all we have on this earth, and to experience it we need everyday consciousness. We have other existences and other forms of consciousness too - but few of ever experience these except as dreams.'I think, therefore I am.' René Descartes.We think using words. How did we think before we invented words? Words flow, like time. Before the advent of verbal language time stood still, we lived in the eternal present - like babies and animals.I am not a philosopher nor am I a greatly educated mind ... I am simply a thinker, a questioner, a child of curiosity ... a dreamer.All deep thinkers and dreamers are philosophers. To be a philosopher we neither need to be academics (a hindrance to independent thought) - or Greek! Although being a poet (an artist whose medium is words) can help. Though I am confused. There is something missing. The social expectations of the world are not only daunting, they're ever changing. So has it been the norm throughout my life.As they are to all philosophers and aspies alike. We are the only constant, while the NT world with its contradictions, chaos shallowness, and addiction to fashions and quick fixes stumbles, clumsily and aimlessly onwards. At what cost is it acceptable to not be yourself?At the cost of our freedom, integrity and eternal regret..I have never been myself, I fear that I have no self ... I have thoughts and feelings, though I have no voice.But you 're at least being yourself as far as you can - at least when you wrote this Words are the limitation to fully being yourself. Just 'being' transcends words and language: a paradoxical state of mind 'when/where' we are both at the same 'time' entirely 'alone' and entirely at one with 'the world'. (All those 'words' can't be defined with words)I only wish to say what is right, what is just and fair.What is right is true and good, and truth, although elusive, is well worth seeking. What is fair is just, and depends upon truth and goodness.I do care and I do give a damn, for I am a person just like you ... I just express it differently ...Caring depends on compassionate empathy and a sense of fairness. Truth, goodness/love and beauty can't exist without one another. Together they are what make us fully human. If we're starved of any of one these, the others are at risk of withering, and we suffer as a result. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UnusualPatronus Report post Posted November 8, 2014 A different view point is often needed I've tried a few times now to write an adequate response to your well thought out reply, I have none other than thank you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mihaela Report post Posted November 9, 2014 What can I say? Thanks! Your well thought out words needed a well thought out reply. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UnusualPatronus Report post Posted November 11, 2014 (edited) Edited November 11, 2014 by UnusualPatronus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
