Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
Sign in to follow this  
JayneM

Semantic Pragmatic Disorder - a mum at end of her tether

Recommended Posts

JayneM   

Please forgive me if this is in the wrong section. This may sound like I'm just venting, and that's probably partially true but honestly, I need some support and advice. The last time I wrote something similar to this was about 16 years ago and I felt pretty much as I do today. Thanks in advance for your time.

 

Our son, now 20, was diagnosed with Semantic Pragmatic Disorder at around 5 years of age. Having got through school and a few years of working, we now find ourselves at a point where we feel a bit stuck..... Before I sound too negative, I must say that he's a lovely young man with a great sense of humour, (even if he IS driving us nuts at the moment).

 

He's always struggled with concentration, social interaction etc but has overcome some of his social issues. He works in my husbands shop and we both agree he's made huge strides in that he now serves customers and looks after the front of shop while a technician works in an adjoining room. He isn't left totally alone as he can't deal with the unexpected or unusual but customers have often made positive comments about him and his work and one even told me "that young man's got his 'finger on the button' hasn't he?" (!!!) but having said all this, I wouldn't be here if there weren't other aspects to his life which we find...... frustrating (for want of a better word).

 

At school, he never did homework unless I did it with him. He'd just 'stick his head in the sand' and hope it would go away. As much as he needed the support, I've often felt that he relied on his teaching assistant so much that he lost any inclination for independent learning. This does NOT apply to learning to play the drums or computer games, both of which he does well - in fact the taught himself to play drums after just a couple of initial lessons. He seems to take the view that as long as he keeps his head down, he'll get away with doing the bare minimum and just playing computer games (!) every evening and nothing else.

 

He has a voluntary job assisting with a local radio station - where he does only what's required, and no more. He's been asked to carry out a few v small tasks but he hasn't done them. Again, they won't get done unless I sit down with him. The DJ (a friend of ours) wants him to take over presenting - (yeah right! Like that's going to happen) and gives me a hard time cos my son isn't making any effort to do that and tells me and my son that I've done too much for him so it's my fault he's like he is?!)

 

Now and then, he'll surprise us..........like getting up early and walking to the shop and opening it up. He won't tell anyone he's doing it, we just get up and find he's gone! He walks or runs (!) everywhere, refusing to catch a bus unless his sister is with him.

 

I feel a bit besieged at the moment. Yesterday, y husband told him to go the job centre yesterday and find another job. I thought this was laughable. Experience has taught me that there's way our son would even walk into the place alone, let alone speak to someone. Hubby's getting frustrated and angry and thinks we should aim higher. My parents are asking me all the time what the future holds for him, what will he do, what plans do I have for him? Today my husband asked our son to write a short piece about his role in his job and the changes he should make to improve certain situations - and was given the day off to do it. I came home at 6pm and he's written 3 lines. If he DOES write something, he writes over and over it as though he switches off.

 

When our son was small and before I started learning about his condition I felt totally helpless and ineffectual on his life but, armed with knowledge, I made great efforts to help him and other people acknowledge that without the intervention I carried out, our son wouldn't be where he is today. The issue now is that I honestly don't know whether we should expect more, or if we're expecting too much. I DO think he needs to have a job working for someone other than his Dad so that he experiences real life (even if it means getting sacked!). We'd hoped our son would mature and find at least some direction, however small. but any form of 'growing up' seems to be out of reach to him.

 

Anyway, this was long (even after I edited it!) and I'd like to thank whoever reads it for their time and patience. I'd greatly value and appreciate the comments of others but be gentle please,it's been a long time since I felt this quite this helpless and I'm feeling pretty fragile.

 

Thank you.

Edited by JayneM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mihaela   

It's a shame no-one's replied to your post. My time is limited on here at the moment, so I can't give you the detailed reply that I'd like to. For now, all I can say is that I feel you're expecting too much from him. I have 'female type' AS, and never properly 'grew up' either, and have remained much the same ever since my early teens. We all have our weakness, but we also have strengths and talents which must be encouraged. I'm sorry you feel helpless and fragile, and I know how it feels - for I've felt like that for all my adult life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JayneM   

Mihaela, thanks so much for your reply and my apologies for leaving it this long to reply. Work, Christmas and a million other things just got in the way. I DID receive two other replies but they don't show here, perhaps my post was moved to a more appropriate section on the board and that's why they're not here?

 

I wonder if any of this will also sound familiar. He doesn't seem to 'think' beyond the immediate situation which causes lots of problems (I can't descibe it any clearer than that) - today I'm sad to say he made a mistake in work that will cost us dearly. He just doesn't think beyond the immediate situation. It frustrates us immensely because on the one hand he appears very capable but then he will make huge mistakes because he just doesn't seem to think. It's time to get him into another job, but it worries me so much. Thinking of contacting someone, like an organisation for adults with ASD etc. So scared for his future,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×