Nikki30

Hi and thanks for the replies, very much appreciated and all advice taken on board xx I will deffinately push for SALT! Also another thing I have to do is stop looking for traits....does anybody else find they do this? I have started doing it with a lot of people I know lol. It's interesting though and would explain a lot with certain members of my family. Nicola x

Thank you guys for the replies! Yes this seems quite a common thing doesn't it! My wee boy has a pal outside of school and they absolutely adore each other as they ave known each other from birth (can fight the bit out too tho lol) and they were in the same nursery class but unfortunately he isn't in Daniel's P1 class and he is sorely missed! I think it's a godsend if they make a close friend...but this doesn't always happen, as we all know..and kids can be cruel It's hard when they come home and tell you how such and such wouldn't play with them...and such and such said that powerangers and dinosaurs (Daniel's current love!) is for silly babies Saffronsunflower..being a fly on the wall seems like a brilliant idea actually...because you get to see what is really going on. His teacher told me to not believe everything they say...which I am sure she is right about on some parts...but it really does make me think that her understanding of Aspergers is very limited! Shona I think I will follow in your suit and bring a book in for them to read...I have 'Can I Tell You About Asperger Syndrome' by Jude Welton. Nicola x

After posting various posts re. my son Daniel, aged 4...diagnosed with ASD High Functioning Autism, which will probably present as Aspergers...I am now wondering about my daughter as I know there is a 50% chance of siblings having the same condition or traits. Cara was 2 in July and as of yet, is not talking. Daniel was different in that he talked at the appropriate age. She attempts to say words but it's almost as if she has a hearing problem with the way things come out (but she doesn't as this was checked in the past) No would be naaoo...Daniel would be anoo...Paul would be bao..Granda would be ande...it's almost as if she misses out the first and last letter of the word. There are words she can say very clearly, such as no (of course! lol), Daddy, Mummy, hiya, bye, away and a LOT of the time she screams (piercing!) and cries...probably due to frustration. She can follow instructions and tries to tell me what she wants by making a noise or touching me. Her eye contact is good and she is very affectionate and has a brilliant sense of humour. A few things that bother her are marks/scuffs/pieces of fluff on things...like if there was a dirty mark on a wall or on her leg or something, she would get really upset, almost crying. If trucks pass her outside she will put her hand up to her head as if to protect herself. If her brother comes running anywhere near her she will run screaming into my arms, if I come into the living room to hoover she cowers and blinks almost as if I am going to hit her with it..she scares quite easily. She refuses to share and will huff if she feels threatened that someone will take her toys or play on something that she is on. She does seem to love people...she waves and shouts halo to everybody from a distance and gets very excited when she sees other children, but when people (adults usually) get close up she gets shy and goes quite and doesn't interact very much...i sometimes joke that a stranger is the best thing to calm her down! I did say her eye contact is great but if I was to prolong my gaze she would put her hand up to say no, away. I know she is very young and that a lot of these things are what all children go through but I'm also wondering if any of you guys see anything that stands out to alert us to Autism...or traits of it. I mentioned briefly to Daniel's Consultant that she wasn't talking yet and because of this and Daniel's history etc, she sent an email onto our health visitor (who is usally quite blaise about the whole thing and told us to wait until Cara was 2&1/2) so she came out to see Cara..she said at the moment speech therapy would be a waste of time and in 2 months if her speech hasn't improved, she will refer her to Community Paediatrics and told me that this was only because of Daniel's history..I do think that the Health Visitor feels that her speech will come on ok and things will be fine, or maybe she is beng optimistic for our sakes. I haven't really told anybody of my other concerns with her just yet...maybe I'm afraid to :/ I really don't know Any advice welcome...many many thanks, Nicola

Hi there, have been posting about my son having problems with going to the loo in school....fingers crossed that is getting sorted...as I have picked him up 3 days and a row and he has been dry (although I think today he may have had a little accident and it had completely dried in and he was in denial, ah well, small steps n all that). Anyway my other concern at the moment is that he doesn't seem as happy about school as he was when he first started 3 week ago...when I am reading him a story before bed at night..and when we are walking to school....he says he doesn't want to go to school because he doesn't like his friends, he will be very lonely, such and such won't play with him etc...and everytime he says these things my heart sinks i try to be positive for him and reassure him but today I mentioned it to his teacher and she more or less told me to never believe what they say and that he is happy in class...:/ I feel like I am turning into a really paranoid Mother....Daniel says that the wee boy he sits beside in school won't play with him so when I was dropping Daniel into his class these past couple of days I have asked the wee boy to play with Daniel....first day he said yes with a smile...2nd day he looked at me blanky and I also saw him throw his coat at Daniel :/ oh god, I am probably doing the total wrong things...I think i'll just take a back seat and let things happen. If this is only primary 1...and only his 4th week coming up....I fear for my sanity in later years!!! lol Any advice welcome Nicola x

Hi Flora thanks for your reply....no he is actually damp when I pick him up..socks n all, jumper, shirt..everything....and he says he does it in his chair...so but fingers crossed today he is catching on as today he was bone dry

Well...today Daniel was accident free I mentioned to the teacher that he may not be going to the loo if the kids go by themselves...so when I asked him about it today he said one of the primary 3 pupils went with him and waited for him. I also mentioned that his shyness could be preventing him on asking when he needs to go...the prinicipal was beside the teacher while I was talking to her...so maybe it's all finally got through. Also :/ we promised him a surprise (bribery sometimes works wonders...is this ok?) so tonight he picked a little toy while we were out shopping. He was a great boy today! So fingers crossed this wasn't just a one off...although I'm not expecting miracles. The support group are coming in to observe him on 15th October...I mentioned to her about using the little card and she said she will be introducing such things...so that's good too Nicola x

Thank you guys! Yeah I think the shyness might be a big factor...and I am going to suggest the little card to hand to the teacher..very good idea indeed...I think this could work with Daniel! Could i just draw one or something? But i'd be concerned of the others making fun of him because he is the only one using it? Pity I couldn't convince them to use it for the whole class....I think everyone could benefit from that! Hmm the urinals and the noise of it all....yes Daniel still sits to pee too so this could be an issue..I was actually beginning to wonder if he was trying to stand up like the other boys to do his wee and maybe it was going wrong..but he says he sits. I'm not sure if it's a good time for me to teach him to stand at the moment either? :/ Yes I am a bit concerned that the teacher isn't listening properly :/ but she did say that they take them 2 times a day and that Daniel had actually been going..and the rest of the time, the kids go in pairs, by themselves...could I suggest the teacher takes him? Usually if i tell her he is wet she says something like, oh he's only just back! But how is she meant to know if he is going....if I was a kid and given a free reign...I probably wouldn't go to the loo lol. Actually I rang Oakwood ASD Advisory Services....they are an outside group, that can come into the school if need be..providing support for Daniel throughout his school years if he needs it. I told them about our worries and she said she is going to ring the school and arrange to come in and observe Daniel....which has set my mind at rest a bit as she would be able to pick up on things the teachers might not notice...also she'll be able to tell me how the teachers are with him etc..I'd like to be the fly on the wall but this is the next best thing! There is an option of him getting a classroom assistant....I'm thinking he could really benefit from one right now!? I was actually crying as I read your replies....didn't do me any harm to get it all out though! Oh the joy...lol Thanks a mill guys Nicola x

Hi everybody, I was just wondering if anybody else's child ever had/or has an issue with this at school... Daniel, aged 4, is on his 3rd week of starting primary 1 and I know it is early days but i'm starting to get really worried about it! Daniel has been great with going to the loo by himself for quite a while now..sure he had the odd accident but that's to be expected and any big upheaval he would usually have accidents for a few days at home too...but since starting school, I am picking him up every single day and every item of his clothing is damp with pee...and i usually only figure this out because I can smell it and on feeling his clothes, they are always damp...which means it has soaked in for a good while. This isn't happening at home. After voicing my concerns to the teacher on his 3rd day, she said they take the children twice a day to the loo's and any other time they need to go, the pupils go in two's, so I thought ok maybe it's just the excitement and huge step of starting P1..but this continued on, day after day and each time I told the teachers, they were really shocked, saying he was only back from the loo/that he had definately went etc. Daniel seems blaise about the whole thing when I ask him, he says he just goes at his desk, and I suppose the good thing is that he isn't fretting about it. I am starting to wonder if there is an underlying reason...or if he really has an understanding on the whole thing. I eventually asked the teacher if she would give him gentle reminders, and she did, but it never seemed to work and she is still shocked everytime I tell her that he is wet. He doesn't seem to tell the teachers when he has his accident, even though I have encouraged him, and I'm just wondering if it is his shyness that is preventing him on asking can he go (because I know the classroom could be overwhelming for him) or indeed in telling them that he has had an accident...I asked him yesterday why he didn't tell the teacher and he said he did but she never listened :/ He has a slight stammer,which has actually got worse over the summer, and i'm just wondering has he tried telling her while she was in the middle of something else..then it was too late...I really don't know Daniel attended this school's nursery, so he knows the building and teachers....but there is a bit of work being done..new toitlets being put in and he is having to use the nursery's toilets rather than the ones in the main building...so he does have a little bit further to go, but not very much. Another thing is that hand dryers have been fitted and I know Daniel does not like these....he is teling me that he is just wiping his hands dry on his trousers. I'm wonderng if the noise of the dryers is preventing him from finishing his buisness...although the teachers say this hasn't been an issue with him....and I have asked them to get papr towels in for him. :/ i really don't know what to think...my head is a bit melted! Despite all this, he has been in brilliant form when I pick him...but today he said he didn't want to go to school because he doesnt' like his friends, he'd rather be alone Nicola x

Thanks Baddad, glad to be here ps. I bet ur anything but a Bad-dad

Aww thanks guys..for the warm welcome and understanding. You really do feel alone until you speak to people who have similar experiences don't you. Reading a lot of the posts i'm like ahh yes that's my Daniel..ahhh yes that's what happened to us lol! Also it is great to read so many different stories....how each of our children can differ so much in their condition..each of them so precious and unique Sad though that some people are having such difficulties in getting answers or a diagnosis and problems with the school's acceptance etc my thoughts are with you all! The waiting is horrible! Even though it can be very hard at times...i thank my lucky stars every day for my precious little monkies. Nicola x

Hi there my name is Nicola, I'm 30 and from Northern Ireland...Mum to Daniel, aged 4 and diagnosed with ASD, possible Aspergers, in May this year...and Cara, aged 2, not talking yet and awaiting a referral. It is so great to find this forum...like a huge weight of my shoulders!! I have enjoyed reading all the posts...especially the one on the quirks our little ones show lol..and I thought I'd join in and hopefully you all won't mind reading my ramble :/ it's just great to find people who will understand Daniel's development was all going according to the "norm" until he starting taking seizures when he was 2&1/2..he was (after quite a wait) diagnosed with epilepsy and was referred to a multi-disciplimary team who picked up on sensory issues, word-finding difficulties and low muscle tone and as time passed he started to show some mild traits of autism which myself and his nursery teacher picked up on..collecting cars and lining them up/organising them rather than playing with them, repetative movements and echolalia, problems with moving from one task to another, loved his rouines, screamed blue murder on grooming, preferred to play with the one little boy in school and dictated the way they should play etc etc etc. I voiced my concerns to his Consultant and she told me to go away and observe, take notes etc...it was a bit of a surprise to her as his eye contact, communication skills have always been great. In the meantime the educational phychologist had called out to see Daniel and then myself and made her report..intellectually he was above average (as is goes with Aspergers?) and she picked up on his traits too. In a couple of months we were back to the Consultant and she diagnosed him with ASD high functioning autism there and then, which would probably turn into Aspergers (woah! what a blow, even though we suspected it...as I'm sure you all can sympathise!) This diagnosis didn't change a thing..just helped people understand Daniel more and have more patience...and we were given support in the form of workshops and an organisation that will be there in the backgroud throughout his school years for any support he needs...we were given a scrap book with pictures and descriptions to prepare him for Primary 1 (which worked absolute wonders...he is in his 3rd week now and loves it! the only issues he has is with toileting really...so far). We also made a scrap book for him before we went on a foreign holiday and I must say he was such a brilliant boy while we were away!) He has since been weaned off his medication for epilepsy as he hasn't had a fit for well over a year and I'm so glad because it had such a big effect on his health...so keeps your fingers crossed for us that he stays fit free! With my daughter Cara...my worst fears are tha she will have Autism rather than Aspergers....but I guess it's just a case of wait and see. Thankyou for listening and I look forward to chatting with you all...I hope I haven't offended anybody in my descriptions or anything...I'm still rather new to this all :/ Nicola x