kitty02

I too have been offered antidepressants in the past. But they are not the answer for me. I manage with various coping mechanisms depending on the strength of feeling. A cup of strong tea with 2 paracetamols can carry you through a difficult time. Paracetamol works for emotional pain just as well as physical pain. It takes the edge off. Then there can be [contradictory] a listening to music session, or a quiet time depending on what you are drawn towards at the time. Or how about volunteering your spare time to work with animals - walking dogs for a local shelter for an hour every week or the like. Or gardening for an elderly neighbour that can't manage it anymore. Nothing works immediately, but over time you will be impressed. Exercise is good but so is a huge bubble bath followed by a comedy film. Be careful coming off the tablets though, you'll need a doctor's guidance as I don't think you can just suddenly stop. Make sure you are on a good diet and eat regularly, I frequently take extra vitamin B when my 'nerves' are bad. I wish you luck x

Hi Dale, I too am only recently diagnosed as a 45 year old woman. My son was diagnosed years ago as a child. I was so sure it all came from his father, who couldn't cope with him at all and indeed left us for another woman and has had very little to do with us since. It is a shock isn't it to learn that you're an Aspie? Especially when you have learnt all about it for someone else. The one thing I have found that has helped me is meditation. I go to a mindful meditation group weekly and have read up on how to work with your mind and it's thoughts. I find the eastern philosophies very enlightening (no pun intended). I think that the textbooks on AS tend to dwell on the problems associated with the disorder and that's not always helpful. You need to learn about your own mind, which will be unique to you. It will be strong and healthy and can achieve great things - even under it's banner of Asperger. You clearly have a loving family and I'm sure it hasn't been easy rearing your son, but the world would be a poorer place with out Aspies down the years... we bring our own viewpoint and perspective and the human race is richer for it. Best of luck x

Hi Laddo, I am new to forums etc but your idea seems sound- although won't we all have to give up personal information about where we live etc if it to succeed in 'getting members together'? Kitty

McGroo you sound like a perfect boyfriend - understanding and caring and thoughtful. She is a lucky girl. There are disadvantages to dating Aspie's, as they may have their own special likes and dislikes, but if you broaden the picture doesn't everyone to some extent? Once you get to know your partner you can work to their boundaries as hopefully they work to yours. I have read debates over whether it is appropriate to label AS folk at all as they are so near the edge of the autistic spectrum as to be nearly normal. Just slightly quirky. She will likely be intelligent and loyal and caring in her own way. And you should have a down to earth and honest partner - qualities surely to be treasured? There won't be any sneaking around behind your back on her part! Celebrate her for what she is, and try listing all the positives as well as the perceived negatives. She will have to come round to the idea of getting diagnosed herself and in her own time. It is a time consuming and lengthy process and the person at the centre has to be utterly committed to it and want to know the outcome. If she is not there yet then you can just read up quietly on your own and proceed without an official label for now. When I told some of my friends about my (very recent) diagnosis, several of them said "yes, we've known that for years..." so having a label or not did not affect our friendships and activities. There are books out there about how to work through common AS/NT issues in partnerships - NAS should be able to help with that. Good luck! Kittyx