ds and pre-school

[pim]

Hello,

I'm still quite new to this site but so happy to have found it. Ds, who is 3 and 1/2 has just started pre-school and was recently diagonised with asd. This is his 3rd week and it's not been easy. I recently moved him from morning sessions to afternoons as there are less children. Fortunately he has a more sympathetic teacher now. I've been trying to ease him in slowly and the first 2 days I stayed the whole time. Today I left him for a short while and he was angry when I came back. The problem is ds has a very short violent temper. He was doing something not too naughty and he was told not to do it. That was it he lost it. The teacher then said I'm going to be honest with you and said that if ds had got angry like that and if I hadn't been around she doesn't know how she could have coped with him. She would like some strategies in place. I just felt sad and I know he is finding it difficult and the outburst was slowly building up. Yesterday he had one but he found a quite place and calmed down. I don't know what to do, if it is the best place for him. Will he learn to manage his temper. I saw other children being told not to do something and some would end up in tears. Ds would just go out of his way to do it again. So do I find somewhere else for him. Or could the school kick him out saying they can't cope with him?

 

pim

[Suze]

Hi Pim , so sorry things are so bad at the moment, I,ve just had a cr*p day with my AS son who is 9yrs.He is being provoked at school, lots of name calling and chose today to explode.I don,t have a lot of experience with preschools as my son was only diagnosed last year.It sounds asthough he is finding preschool Quite stressful which always makes the AS symptons worse.Have you had any advice from the Autism team in your area.You sound as though you think his preschool can,t handle him, and maybe he may need a placement at a school where people have experience of AS.My friends son was diagnosed AS at 3yrs and went to a special group that taught him stratergies to cope he did really well and joined mainstream school at 5 yrs.Remember not to get too down about how your son is behaving it,s not bad parenting these kids can,t help it and a bad temper is something everyone on this site can relate to.Your son at the end of the day needs to be with people who understand his difficulties and know how to respond when he finds things difficult.You also don,t need to be made to feel guilty for how your son reacts.Gosh don,t know if any of my waffle helped , just know what it,s like dreading picking up from school, in case the Teacher needs a quiet word again.Suze

[Jericho]

Is there anyone who can go into the pre-school to give the teachers some advice and help? When my eldest was at pre-school the Early Years Inclusion Service would go in to observe and then give the staff ideas about what to do to help.

 

When I took my younger son to see the Paed I mentioned the way he explodes into a fit of rage everytime something goes 'wrong'. He told me that it's a good idea to teach young children how to remove themselves from the situation so that they can get away from whatever has upset them. Having a quiet place to retreat to is a good thing to set up. Both of my boys love enclosed spaces so we have turned a large cardboard box into a kind of retreat.

 

When the eldest (4yrs) is angry or upset he goes and hides himself away in the box. This really seems to calm him down. Our youngest (2yrs) doesn't always know to do this so I have to pick him up while remaining calm and just put him somewhere quiet. It's a bit like the usual time-out technique only I don't close the door and he can return any time he likes. Strangely he seems to calm down in seconds and is then able to trot back to whatever he was doing before. I know that lifting a screaming 3yr-old isn't as easy but the whole idea of a quiet space seems to do the trick.

 

Do you have any books about ASD's that you could lend to the teacher? Alternatively you could print out some of the advice and tips given either on this site or on the NAS site and give them to her to look at.