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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
Latecomer

Hi Folks

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Hello there,

 

First of all, can I say that I don't know if I have Asperger's, i.e. I've not got a diagnosis as such, but have started thinking about it because a work colleague made a casual observation about me on Thursday and now I wonder if I might be?

 

It's a long story, but put simply I am in the process of being divorced because I had an affair. Not good behaviour at all. My colleague is a trained counsellor and enquired as to my welfare, very kindly. We talked about my marriage, and how my wife and I were both operating in different 'frames of reference', e.g. I was very work and practically-focused, whereas what she needed and didn't get from me was affection, affirmation, intimacy. My colleague then said something like "oh, and with you being a little bit Asperger's too" and I wasn't sure what to make of it. I had some thoughts a few months back, when I was trying to understand myself better (I think it's a midlife crisis thing, hence the affair) and read some more about ADD, but had people say to me "you can't categorise yourself, it's just a part of your personality, not the whole thing".

 

After my colleague had gone I Googled Asperger's and read some of the characteristics of Aspies when in relationships, and a lot of it rang true. I did Professor Baron-Cohen's test 3 times & came out with a high score (38, 42 & 44) on each occasion, though a bit of me is concerned I may have been anticipating which answers would yield a high score, though I hoped not.

 

It has made me feel as though I ought to seek a diagnosis. I work with number and statistics, and know that being an Aspie would be suited to this type of work. I have always liked numbers and statistics, word games, etc, and am able to remember things like dates, etc. I like statistics etc in my home life, and like sports where there are lots of statistics and facts, it's when talking about these things that people say I do seem genuinely excited by something. That's because I am conscious that I am not very emotional, and a bit flat. My wife said I didn't respond to her when she was upset about things, and conversations about our relationship and whether I loved her would cause me to retreat into saying about the practical things I did for her, rather than offer emotional support and empathy. In fact, sometimes when I was in a stressful conversation I would find myself rearranging the letters of a word or phrase in my head to make new words, rather than be listening properly. I didn't work out this was potentially a stress response until quite recently.

 

I am somewhat tied to routine, as in I'm not especially spontaneous, I was frugal with money (or tried to be, spending it would cause me a fair amount of worry, despite us being comfortably off). I used to think I was OK in social situations but think perhaps I do tend to 'stick to the people I know' more than talk to people whom I don't, and my wife observed when we met last week that I wasn't that good in social situations (that might be her hurt at my affair and our divorce coming out).

 

Does anyone have any thoughts, observations, comments? My wife's take on things is that I have just been a *unrepeatable phrase* and I know I have, but wonder if Asperger's might be a factor? I also have a bit of a problem with the internet, possibly somewhat addicted to it and also to internet pornography (nothing extreme). I guess that could make sense, in that it meets a need for me without having to do that emotional stuff...

 

 

 

 

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trekster   

Hi and welcome to me you come across as the type of guy who owns up to his mistakes rather than hiding from them. Your symptoms do seem familiar to me and could be aspergers.

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