Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

trekster

Moderators
  • Content count

    3,507
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

About trekster

  • Rank
    Mt McKinley

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://
  • ICQ
    0

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling
  • Location
    nr Bristol
  • Interests
    stamp collecting, cross stitching, playmobil, star trek, liverpool fc, computers

Recent Profile Visitors

1,978 profile views
  1. Son wants to move out

    Well done for being so proactive in getting what's best for you and your son. It's a shame that sometimes what you need and what your son needs aren't coordinated.
  2. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSetfHBUtoZvsc9qMMuL2pHyDO-UsGPOCRR3h-XXC2Vogy50UA/viewform This is for psychiatry experiences of ours and could help to influence change in how services are run that support us.
  3. Son wants to move out

    Can Mencap help you with filling out the forms? Can you get your GP to write a letter explaining how the "current housing situation is having a detrimental effect to both your wellbeings" also to get social services to write a supportive letter. That's what I had to do so I could get a higher banding to bid for the housing I needed.
  4. New member wanting some advice!

    Congrats on getting him his diagnosis. How is the school with him?
  5. Can't take it he needs to go

    Can Mencap help you to get him diagnosed with a learning disability? Really hope you get the help he needs to move out. Can't a care provider that supports him in the home at first just try and be aware he could have an additional learning disability? If it helps I had a care agency that helped me to go out and get food to cook for me and granny. Later that progressed to me moving out. 10 years later I temporarily moved back to mums for 15months then moved out again. 3 years ago I moved into my current home. It's not perfect but the care agency I currently have help me with a multitude of things.
  6. Gaming meltdown

    First and foremost we feel others emotions too intensely to cope, that doesn't mean we lack empathy. I've watched TV programs to help me learn empathy and discussed it with people who can explain in 'black and white' ways 'the other side of the coin'. He might feel like the only thing he's good at is the game. He could know the game very well and be able to tell if there's an internet problem or people cheating. We are rule orientated so if someone does something out the ordinary it can look like cheating. I've been a game quizzer for over 4 years with 2 friends. At first I was stroppy with some of my friends, them giving me time to reflect and my home situation improving meant I was less likely to be stroppy with them. I used to get really wound up when we didn't get any prizes. Then my teammates reminded me of other ways we could consider success, eg our score each time going up, the questions not being the ones we we're experienced in etc. Would giving him specific praise help? Have a motto 'no problem too big, no achievement to small' in th household and strive to resolve it no matter what. Remind him of it when he brings up failure. Perfectionism is a difficult trait to resolve in us autistics.
  7. What to do??

    It could be both AS and being 'a piece of work', it could be a trauma reaction, it could be learnt behaviour from his mother or someone else. I have a trauma history and I have chronic pain. My joints dislocate on a regular basis, communicating this issue to people is rarely done with an 'ouch' as I was conditioned out of saying 'ouch', also conditioned out of crying, only risperdal (meltable tablets as liquid and hard tablets I reacted to) which helps with the auditory flashbacks. No matter what I did as a kid I could never please my parents, literal thinking got a smack, hitting an entertainer once got a beating which has left me with claustrophobia and anxiety over louder voices, disagreeing with anything got a smack. That could have been your stepsons situation before coming to you, that's neither of your faults or your husband's for that matter. Challenging behaviour foundation might also be able to advise. https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/
  8. PAN Card Not Received

    What is a pan card?
  9. Autistic and Bipolar Comorbidity

    I asked a friend of mine who carers for a relative who has bipolar. The conclusions we both reached are that if you have one disability affecting the brain eg autism then you are more likely to develop another disability affecting the brain eg bipolar. Me personally, have autism, dyslexia, depression, anxiety, insomnia, cptsd and traits of other disabilities affecting the brain. Also you can have both bipolar and borderline personality disorder, but distinguishing between rapid cycling bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder is very hard even from the most experienced diagnosticians.
  10. See if you can find a copy of their wellbeing or mental health policy on the schools website, quote sections from this in the complaint letter. You can look up your local MP on the website www.theyworkforyou.com where you can see how your MP voted on a variety of issues including special educational ones. Also are they on this list (weblink below); https://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/campaign/appga/members.aspx See if there is any parental support in your area by typing in "autism near (name of your county)" into an internet search. Pre Cahms stopped helping us when I had one session where I couldn't engage with them. That was back in the late 90s. I'd just been diagnosed myself then. www.mind.org.uk is a mental health charity, covers mental health and can put you in touch with local resources as well. They operate a legal line as well. Just found the below weblink as well. https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/discrimination-in-education/
  11. Teenager out of control and violent

    A lot of 'behaviour that challenges' is due to hidden pain. 98% according to John Clements author of 'people with autism behaving badly, moving on from emotional and behavioural challenges'. But asking us "are you in pain?" When we cannot comprehend what pain is or means (even us highly verbal people cannot comprehend) is gonna be tricky. It's a bit like being a detective; what triggers off the 'problem' behaviour; what can be done instead. Have a timetable for when your kids help with chores and when they have downtime, autistics need a lot more downtime than neurotypicals. Yeah I get it we're a lot harder work than neurotypicals, I had running away behaviour as a teenager, school stuff, others emotions etc was all too much to cope with. I still need a flow diagram to get all my shower stuff in the right order, or my home help to "verbally prompt me at every stage", plus dealing with the sensory issues, any distractions from the umpteen comments I may have heard online etc. Think of asking one of us to do the dishes and the number of steps it takes to do the dishes. Then once you've worked out or remembered those steps, you realise the washing up liquid has run out.... After the shops have all shut. Gaming is a way of hiding from the unpredictable world. The more predictable life at home can be the easier it is for us to prevent meltdowns, shutdowns and brain overload. The challenging behaviour foundation could have some other ideas; https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/ Although it's aimed at those with severe learning disabilities, the principles can be applied to any form of challenging behaviour. Ps, I have been both the 'getting in your face' and on the end of someone 'getting in my face' sides of the fence. I've people close to me, that deny they're autistic so take it out on me. I've now got better resources to help me be less in one's face and normally intervene to help the situation no longer escalate, living on my own and having home help I've found a way to interact with helps, as does controlling physical pain, recognising when hungry or tired can also help.
  12. PIP appeal

    It all depends on which assessor you get on the day to be honest. Evidence from as many different sources regarding how your son's affected. If he has coordination difficulties emphasise those as well. Hope he gets his PIP on appeal.
  13. To add to the above, evidence of ethical approval (or reasons why this isn't relevant to your research) has to be private messaged to a moderator/admin and approved before posting, no exceptions.
  14. Newbie

    Hi sorry you haven't had any responses up until now. I'm not a parent but I was supported by my gran when I said similar things. Does he have friends at college? Does he have a wish to find out more about autism? There are books aimed at teens and parents on coping with teenage. Jacqui Jackson's "multicoloured mayhem" springs to mind. Hope you both find the help you need. Could the mind infoline help? Or even places like 'young minds'? I tried computing and admin, got a lot of qualifications but I haven't found paid work yet.
  15. I had staff shout in my face and got some money back. I had the same person abuse me mentally and got £30 refund. It is worth complaining whether invisible or visible. I had a written apology each time.
×