I'm a step dad (for about two years now) to a 13year old boy, who recently was diagnosed with ASD. His mother and later me, looking at his behaviour suspected autism, but this was only diagnosed recently. They had a troubled life up until a while ago and now things are beginning to settle.
What brought me here is to look for advice on a few matters, a few different threads will probably appear later, but for now I need some information how to deal with a situation at his school.
Step son is a loving, caring, creative kid, if you didn't know he's diagnosed with ASD you probably wouldn't notice (like two of his previous schools haven't). However, he easily becomes bored/distracted, tries to do things his way - not like he was instructed to do, which has turned out to be a problem at school. He can also start talking to his colleagues or get up from his seat and walk up to someone else (to help out). He also doesn't control himself and can start singing to himself or laughing out loudly when in class. These situations have landed him in trouble with his teachers.
Don't get me wrong, I understand teachers need to maintain order in class and we supported their decisions to discipline him (we spoke with him that he cannot stand up whenever he wants to, and that the teachers were right to warn him and give him a writing task as a punishment). There is, however one particular teacher with a short fuse who, in our opinion should be spoken to.
As soon as step son started this particular subject, situation one arose, he says he closed a cupboard with his knee (I read it as he might have kicked it, it's unlikely, but possible). In response he says he has been yelled at that "I will break your legs if you do that again!" by the teacher.
We took notice, but decided to let the school handle it first. This was the time when SS was officially diagnosed and we had a meeting to inform the school of it. We've also asked for all of his teachers to be informed of that fact.
Situation two happened two weeks later, SS said they were given time for themselves and he was laughing with his friends, so he probably laughed out loudly. In response, he was yelled at in front of the whole class that if he does it again, he will be thrown out and never come back to this class.
Now situation three arose, according to SS, any sort of noise in class is blamed on him. Apparently, someone made a noise and SS was escorted out from the class and yelled at by the teacher (to "shut up"). This we find unacceptable.
We have a PT evening coming up and we will bring the issue up, request that said teacher is reminded that they are dealing with an autistic child. What I am looking for advice on is what do we do if that fails.
I feel like we are doing the right thing raising the issue, however if the teacher fails to control themselves, what steps should we take?
We are in Scotland if that makes any difference.