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hsmum

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Posts posted by hsmum

  1. Posted · Edited by hsmum · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    Thank you Trekster. The situation s a little complex and I am trying to come to terms with it at the moment. My son has attended school on a very reduced timetable since the New Year due to the effects of anxiety and depression. Over the last month, he has been obsessing about his uncle and grandmother who live a quite alternative (but harmless) lifestyle. He has expressed hatred towards them and his hatred seems to be based on the fact that they have chosen to live as they do. Until now, we have taken this obsessive hatred as a symptom of my son's ASD (combined with adolescence). However, on Sunday, we visited my mother and brother (the objects of my son's hatred) and my son stayed in the car, which is a strategy we have agreed upon in consideration of his feelings. However, when we came home, my son had a complete breakdown. He smashed his phone, his bike, the cycle rack and various other objects in the garden shed. My husband rang the emergency services and my son was taken to hospital and held under a police section (not a Section of the Mental health Act). I went with him. My son was interviewed by members of the Mental health Crisis Intervention team. Throughout the interview, he said that he had a 'plan' and the plan was to kill his uncle and grandmother so that he could go to prison and waste his life. He was interviewed by another psychiatrist later and allowed home because he seemed a lot calmer. An appointment was made for him to see the CAMHS team early the next morning. However, the next morning, my son refused to see the CAMHS team and ran out of the house (I was at work). My husband was concerned for my son's safety and rang the emergency services again. A full scale search was undertaken and my mother and brother were taken to a place of safety (which is a bit of an over-reaction in my opinion). My son was found at the local railway station several hours later and he was taken to hospital. I joined him and we stayed overnight. During his stay, my son still talked on his 'plan' but later he said that he realised it would not achieve anything and that he no longer wanted to carry it out. He talked of feeling 'unaware' during the incident and he was discharged again with a discharge diagnosis of 'psychotic episode'.

     

    I am a little confused because I cannot distinguish between my son's obsessional behaviour and the possibility of delusional thought and, more significantly, I do not know if the 'psychosis' if, indeed, that is what it was, may return and how we should respond, particularly because I return to work in a few days time.

     

    I have also the rather less serious problem of repairing family relationships (bearing in mind Mother's Day is around the corner) when my brother is intent on protecting my 85 year old mother and does not want my son to visit their home again. Our other son has a very good relationship with his uncle and grandmother.

     

    I am sorry to include so much detail, but I felt a little context might help explain my query.

  2. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

     

    I posted here before Christmas with respect to my son who was experiencing some serious problems concerning his ability to cope at school. I received some excellent advice, but before we could put plans into action, my son's mental health deteriorated and he was admitted to hospital after a psychotic episode.

     

    Please could someone tell me the fundamental differences between the sort of obsessional though patterns experienced by someone on the autism spectrum and a psychotic episode.

     

    Thanks

     

     

  4. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

    A token to Christmas tradition is rigidly upheld in our household by my youngest (12 years old) although neither my husband nor my eldest son (both AS) see the point in Christmas or enjoy the festivities. Balloons are banned in the house because my eldest son hates them with a vengeance. When my eldest son was younger we had a lot of problems concerning the changes around the festive period. This year we agreed to take down the decorations and the tree on Boxing Day because my husband and eldest son declared Christmas to be over. My husband and eldest son, however, have a very keen sense of justice and they are both appalled or confused by the extortionate price of turkeys and the cruelty of factory farming, the waste of energy caused by Christmas lights, the need for food banks and the unseasonal weather. My youngest son is cool about the certain adaptations we make (and he enjoys post-Christmas play with his friends). So yes, things improve as children get older. There are things that my husband and elder son do enjoy as well: the smell of scented candles, some Christmas lights, the colder weather and, perhaps strangest of all, the absolutely stupid jokes in Christmas crackers (although not the crackers themselves).

  5. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    Thank you for your really helpful advice. It seems like some of the behaviour is returning. He left his Biology class yesterday after two minutes to go to his 'quiet place'. No comment was made in his communication book about the school's response. However my son told me he felt like there was a storm in his head again.

    he has a meeting with his CAMHS worker tomorrow, so I hope this will help.

  6. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    We went to the meeting. The Head of Learning Support from my son's school, the Senior Psychologist from CAMHS and a member of the council came, along with my husband and me. We discussed the current situation and his very recent 'improvement' in behaviour and acknowledged that the conformity may only be temporary. Apparently the Headmaster of the school, someone my son respects because they have a shared interest in meteorology, has made my son promise to attend lessons and although my son has made moves towards refusing a class, he has been coaxed back in when his TA has told him that if he does not attend, he will have to explain to the Head why he has broken his promise. It was considered prudent that he has another talk with the Head after Christmas to spur him on. The Senior Psychologist suggested that whilst my son is depressed, the depression is accentuated because he focuses upon it so closely (which is possibly a trait of his AS). It was also suggested that my son has always been afraid of failing, which is correct, and perhaps the depression, whilst genuine, has provided him with, what he considers to be, a valid excuse for not attending lessons and therefore avoiding assessment. Medication was discussed, possibly a mild anti-depressant which might take the edge of the depression and which may sort of take away the 'excuse'.

     

    My own feelings are that if my son is looking for an excuse to fail on his own terms, he will find this whether his depression is there or not. Furthermore, his behaviour at home has changed: he is reclusive, he has stopped doing the things he once enjoyed including cycling and studying meteorology and he does not sleep well, so I am sure his mental health is not good. I also feel that the 'promise' he made to the Head may well motivate him now, but there is a real possibility that if his mood slips again, he will 'break' the promise and this will lead to guilt and a deeper sense of failure. Another thing my son mentions frequently is his lack of friends and I think like many young people on the spectrum, he wants friends but does not know how to make them.

     

    I was left a little confused by the meeting because the evidence suggests that he may be using the diagnosis of depression as a way of avoiding something he finds stressful but if that is the case, he may well find another form of avoidance is that excuse is eliminated or its effectiveness is reduced. On the other hand, his depression may have resulted in the behaviour and this return to conformity may be something he cannot sustain.

     

    The Head of Learning Support reported that my son had worked very well in isolation and had produced more work than she has seen him produce for a long time, so the comments Sally made above may well be true, he may find isolation is a preferable way of working. If so, then I do not mind if he spends more time there, but not as a punishment.

     

    Thank yu again for the support. I will keep you informed about what happens.

  7. Posted · Edited by hsmum · Report reply

    Hi

     

    We are going to the meeting tomorrow with the Head of Learning Support and the lead in CAMHS. My son receives 24 hours of 1:1 support a week. He was excluded from school on Friday and 'reintergrated ' on Monday. He has a tough disciplinary with the Headmaster, the Head of Safeguarding and the Head of Learning Support. He will be in isolation tomorrow, mainly because school cannot ensure his safety at his Vocational Life Skills placement because he absconded from there last Thursday. Since the disciplinary, my son has attended classes. As I said, he has 1:1 support in all classes and the TA has commented in his communication book that he has attempted some work (in maths and Geography, two subjects he finds very stressful). It could be perceived, therefore that the 'gloves off' approach has been effective. However, I work in a large college of further education and, in my experience, I have found that the effects of a short, sharp, shock are usually short lived. Almost invariably, student behaviour regresses after about two weeks because the underlying issues (medical, behavioural, social or economical) have not been addressed. I am not being pessimistic, but I expect the problematic behaviour to return after Christmas.

     

    Breckenbrough have contacted me very recently because I took Sally's advice and asked for more information. I m going to see what school and CAMHS suggest as an action plan for a way foraward and for a unified response to the behaviour if (when) it returns. I will contact Breckenbrough after the meeting tomorrow.

     

    I would really like my son to schieve his GCSEs if possible. However, simply attending class and attempting work does not get students through exams. If he cannot cope with GCSEs, despite his academic ability (and I think this is likely), I will see if school can offer an alternative, less stressful curriculum, maybe with vocational studies at a local college and BTEC or NOCN qualifications. If this is not possible,, I have some very good advice from this thread about a possible next step. However, what I do not want is a very vulnerable boy with mental health difficulties forced through a system that will fail him academically and break him psychologically.

     

    I will let you know what happens tomorrow.

  8. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    Thank you for your helpful responses. My son is working at key stage 4. He has a target of 5 GCSEs at C or above. However, he has never coped well with pressure and I think the whole atmosphere of school in KS 4 is highly charged and the significance of working towards GCSEs is driven home strongly. Yet, apart from school, my son has given up nearly all his interests. He used to be very interested in meteorology, but he has torn up all the work he did on the subject and refuses to talk about it. He is doing the minimum of subjects required and one of his GCSEs is Vocational Life Skills which takes him away from school. However he has run off from his placement twice and school are worried about him continuing VLS for safeguarding reasons. He talks about thunderstorms in his head and how the depression is destroying everything. We have a meeting with school and CAMHS next week, but I don't know what to suggest.

     

    We live in North Yorkshire.

  9. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    My son is in year 10 of a mainstream comprehensive school. He has 1:1 support and a statement of special education needs. He has always had some time out of lessons to overlearn and complete homework (which he will not do at home). however, this year has been a nightmare. He is refusing to go into class, he steals scissors and self harms (in a superficial fashion) , he has ripped up all his school books and he retreats to his room at home and talks constantly about how hopeless he feels. He has a diagnosis of moderate depression as well as AS, and he is already significantly behind with his school work. he is under CAMHS and has weekly sessions with a therapist. Today he has been excluded from school for refusing to enter the classroom, refusing to work, banging on walls and stabbing himself with scissors. The exclusion is only until Monday, but school have said they do not know how to cope with him

     

     

    Please can you offer us any advice. I do not know whether to withdraw him from school or seek specialist provision or what.

     

    Thanks.

  10. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    I have not abandoned my faith due to ASD, but I am having a short respite from attending church services because it was difficult to manage my children's behaviour. The church leaders and congregation were wonderfully understanding, but I knew the children were not receptive or engaged, and it was unfair to disrupt the worship of so many others (many who were elderly).

     

    My children have calmed down a lot now, and they can discuss 'the big questions' and accept that different people have different beliefs. In time, I will start attending church again and my sons may join me. However, it is likely that they will do exactly what I did, use their youth to explore who they are and what they truly believe in.

  11. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    I am planning a presentation for work on the subject of 'Autism in the Workplace'. At some point, I would like to discuss the impact that the Autism Act has had for adults on the spectrum. Does anyone know where I could find some reliable information on (for example) commitment to training, changes to referral for diagnosis or anything else?

     

    Thanks,

  12. Posted · Report reply

    How did you manage to get married if you find making friends difficult?

     

    Hi,

     

    A very good question. I will try not to go into too much personal detail, because this would take us completely off topic, but I was in my late thirties and quite lonely, so I decided to respond to adverts in the 'Lonely Hearts' column of the local newspaper. Perhaps due to the local connection, we found that we had quite a bit in common: knowledge of the community, mutual acquaintances and so on. I cannot say that we 'fell in love' but I felt very safe with my partner and we were married within three months of meeting.

     

    Obviously meeting through adverts can be risky, but it worked for me. One thing that I will add, in conclusion, is that as adults, my husband and I are quite socially isolated, and whilst we can cope with this, we have to make a very determined effort to ensure our children have sufficient opportunities to mix with their friends.

     

     

    I apologise for rambling on.

  13. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    This is an interesting thread. Although I do not have a diagnosis, I certainly have traits that would suggest ASD (severe difficulties making friends, obsessional traits (which resulted in treatment) and difficulties with face to face communication). Several members of my family also have traits and/or a diagnosis of ASD. However, I do not wish to pursue a diagnosis at the moment, particularly as my husband has recently received a diagnosis and he is still coming to terms with this.

     

    I would say that the ability to focus narrowly has been a problem and a strength. Obviously, it was a problem when I became too obsessional, but it has enabled me to achieve very highly academically.

     

    Although my husband finds it impossible to work with or for other people, I can do this, particularly because I work in a field that I am passionate about.

  15. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    I just thought I would update. My husband has been diagnosed as having 'mild atypical Asperger Syndrome'. The diagnosis was explained to me, but rather hastily and I am unsure how to interpret it. Does he have Asperger Syndrome or not? Can anyone explain what this diagnosis means?

     

    Thanks

  16. Posted · Edited by hsmum · Report reply

    thank you i will try this too :thumbs:

     

    Hi,

     

    I am really sorry to hear of your problems and I am quite surprised by the stance that the OU have taken.

     

    I am a tutor with the OU and because you have AS and concentration problems I would have expected you to have a study mentor and provisions for extra time at the least. Personally, I would try to wrk in short bursts, perhaps with a reward at the end of each work session. I would also make use of postit notes and flash cards so that you do not have to plough through material to find the quote or fact that you need. The spidergrams, mind maps and visual aids suggested in other post will be helpful, as would software such as Inspiration and Mind genius if you have access to these. Be aware of sensory issues: is the place in which you study too hot, cold, is there too much noise or is it too quiet? Have you tried the student forum for your module? Some advice and support may be available there?

     

    Your best resource, however, is your tutor. Is she aware of the extent of your disability? Is she willing to break down questions and concepts for you and so on?

     

    I do hope you manage to get through this course. You really need a positive experience.

     

    However, I remain very surprised that you are not receiving some kind of support. Could you contact the Student Support services at your regional centre to see if any help can be given?

     

    best wishes,

     

    J

  17. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    Does anyone know where I may get some resources or advice for helping an 18 year old student with AS brush up on his personal hygiene. The young man is very bright but the other students in his group are making comments and cringing when he comes near. The young man is on a performing arts course, so physical contact is unavoidable. Tutors have spoken to him and given general advice, but this does not seem to have worked.

     

    I said that I would try to find some resources or advice, but the material I have found so far seems to be aimed at children or people with learning disabilities.

     

    Any advice would be appreciated.

     

    Thanks,

     

    j

  18. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    After nearly three years of enquiry, my husband has been referred to a specialist clinic for an assessment for Asperger Syndrome. The appointment, however, is on 13th July, about six weeks away, and I am afraid that he will 'get cold feet' and be unable to attend the appointment. I will come with my husband to the assessment, but how can I keep him positive and prevent him getting too anxious?

     

    Thanks,

     

    J,

  20. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    I have an 11 year old son who has a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome. Frequently he asks me if this is 'real life' and he talks about a dreamy feeling. He has also asked me if I am real or if I am part of a dream. I am not unduly concerned because he does not seem distressed by these feelings, and he has asked similar questions in the past. However, I am very puzzled and wonder if perhaps I am doing enough simply reassuring him that this is real life and he is not in a dream.

     

    Has anyone any suggestions about what these feelings could be and how I should respond to them?

     

    Thanks

  21. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    You are quite lucky to live in an area where there is proactive provision for children on the spectrum. The extended services in our area focus on a very general spread of special and social needs and my son finds it as hard to intergrate in these groups as in mainstream groups. However, there are some cyclng activities which DS enjoys. However, DS is, in fact, quite easy to occupy. He is happy going on cycling expeditions, or he will busy himself trying to catch butterflies on country walks. His tearaway little brother (who is not on the spectrum) is much harder to cope with mainly because he has a greater need for interaction.

  22. Posted · Report reply

    Hi, my 11 yr old who has a diagnosis of PDA is currently attending a summer youth group for children with autistic spectrum disorders age 8 to 12 years. Its run by the Autism Communication Team (ACT) and the local youth service. He is really enjoying it, and the others who are attending also appear to be benefitting from it. I am really impressed so far. They have a quiet room which my son made use of a few times yesterday - the first day. The ACT team also offer a service for siblings - I think its day activities for younger sibs from 8 and think a residential for older teens, so they get to meet other siblings who are in a similar situation.

     

    My older son also went to a sports activity day (for any children 6 to 11yrs, not ASD specific)earlier in the holidays but it was not a success, so I won't be sending him to one like that again.

     

    Our local NAS branch also run a computer club for children 6 to 13 with ASD/AS/PDA and that has also been a success. Our branch (Rotherham) has also secured funding to continue this club and also to run fortnightly bowling activities for children with ASD/AS/PDA and also a couple of day trips as well.

     

    Other than the bowling and daytrip there is not a lot else for my other 5yr old ASD son - activities that are specifically targeted for children with ASD I mean. Free swimming passes still useable in our area till end sept. so these have been used a number of times!

     

    Has anyone else used/ been able to access these sorts of schemes and has it been a success?

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    I am really sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing at the moment. Obviously, I do not know much about your personal circumstances, but I hope what I write may help provide some hope for the future. I have been married for 12 years and we have two lovely children. However, the marriage has been under terrific pressure at times, mainly because I could not understand my husband's behaviour. As I have learnt more about Asperger's syndrome, and especially as I have seen the similarities between my son (who has AS) and my husband in terms of their strengths and difficulties, I have found my feelings towards my husband change from being primarily angry and frustrated with his behaviour to being protective and evaluative. Like you, my husband is now seeking a formal assessment for ASC.

     

    I hope you and your wife find a way through this difficult time.

     

    J

  24. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    My husband has an appointment with our GP with the view of requesting a referral for assessment for ASD. We have compiled several pages of historical information and we have contacted an assessment centre that will be happy to assess DH if the GP will refer him there. DH sought referral from his old GP (now retired), but unfortunately the Dr. was not at all proactive (although he did not refuse to do it). He was referred back to adult mental health services (he has a history of mental ill health which, we are sure, has been caused at least partially through his difficulties with communication and interaction), but the psychologist who saw him was quite dismissive. The new GP seems to be quite sympathetic and is a specialist in children's medicine, so we are hopeful that she will be more familiar with ASCs than our old GP. Has anyone any experiences or advice that they could share with us which might help us with our request for an assessment?

     

    J

  25. Posted · Edited by hsmum · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    I teach in a mainstram FE college and we do have students who have been with us for more than three years. Although I am not directly involved in funding, I believe what others have said in this thread already is true, if your son is in receipt of certain benefits (please check with Student Services to see which benefits apply), and/ot is doing a first course up to level 2, he will not have to pay. However, there are other things to consider. If your son is now working towards Level 1, he may be considering going on to a mainstream course (I am assuming he is currently on Foundation courses). If this is so, it would be a good idea to talk to the Learning Support Services at your college to make sure they are aware of the level of support your son may need. Furthemore, in the Foundation Departments of most colleges, class sizes are very small (an average of eight in a class with tutor and at least one support assistant). In mainstream classes, even at level one, the class sizes can be quite large.

     

    I have to log off now, but I wish you and your son all the best.

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