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Flora

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Posts posted by Flora

  2. Posted · Report reply

    There are things that have occurred behind the scenes on this forum that most members don?t know about, and of course it should remain that way.

     

    However, it means that things are said sometimes that have more significance to some than they appear to have at face value.

     

    When this occurs it is impossible sometimes to remain objective. I speak for myself here, not for others, because I know there are those who have the ability to remain objective at all times? unfortunately I do not.

     

    For this reason, I no longer want to moderate this forum and have already resigned.

     

    The latest incident has attracted input from members who had nothing to do with the originating dialogue. One of which I can see clearly why they made their input and has personal origins so while it was disappointing, it was not surprising (and I'm sure nobody wants me to open that can of worms). The others probably took at face value a dialogue which they didn't understand and saw me as the aggressor. I can live with that, but I really don't want to continue to be on the receiving end of it. This forum doesn't really figure in my life enough for it to justify the aggravation. It is hard to go like this and not give the whole picture but I am clinging onto my integrity, preventing myself from spilling the beans to vindicate myself at the expense of the privacy of others, most of whom do not deserve that consideration.

     

    The small number of people who are my friends here know exactly who they are and we will stay in touch in r/l.

     

    Flora :D

     

     

     

  4. Posted · Report reply

    mod's do not set the tone of the forum. The forum is the sum of what ALL it's members' make it.

     

    Pearl. The forum has been quiet, and blissfully so. Quiet for lots of reasons. Many of the members are in the process of going through serious and genuine diffulties with LEA's and sorting out provision for their children. My only real input to this forum over the past few weeks has been supporting various members. I made a careless comment yesterday with absolutely no malice or sneering, but yes it was careless and you have decided to pick that ONE (from the many that are here and not made by me) and run with it.

     

    However, I believe that in many respects I make a positive contribution as a member and a mod.

     

    I think the publicity of this discussion needs to end here and if anybody has anything more to say on this subject to do it within the pm system, for common decency.

     

    Flora

     

  5. Posted · Report reply

    I've just re-read yesterdays posts, and I honestly can't see that Pearl was baiting anyone or looking for an argument... :unsure:

     

    Bid :(

     

    Neither do I... which is why I said 'almost baiting'. I'm not entering a big debate. However,it is a common theme, once again, that when someone takes exception to careless/casual phrases or use of emoticons... it gets totally blown out of proportion as it has in this instance with Pearl coming back today to take a pop at the mods ( namely me).

     

    Flora

  6. Posted · Report reply

    I think Pearl, that it appears to me that you are looking for an argument.

     

    In fact I think I'd go as far to say that yesterday you were almost baiting me, and today you definitely are.

     

    I will not enter the debate, however I will discuss this with the admins as Kris very eloqently put several weeks ago 'hunting season on the mods is over'.

     

    Flora

  10. Posted · Edited by Flora · Report reply

    Which paragraph? Ironical or not, I didnt read anything as a joke?

     

    The paragraph that TN quoted in his post. The only way that anyone could read that at pure face value was if they thought the person writing it was genuinely unpleasant, superficial and humourless.... As we all know (or those that 'know him) that baddad is none of those things then I thought I'd point out the obvious ironical humour as TN appeared to have missed it and had obviously read it as 'fact'.

     

    Flora

  11. Posted · Report reply

    I would ask anyone responding to this post to understand that I am in no way commenting on anyone's personal situation/experiences on the forum. Previous expeirience has shown that that rarely stops people from taking things personally, but if I start by stating that at the outset at least my intentions are clear

     

    now that should be in sub text as a disclaimer at the foot of all your posts :lol::clap:

     

    :fight:

     

     

  12. Posted · Report reply

    To say that autistic men (although I suppose that the same could be said of autistic women) have 'lower standards', find attractiveness to be 'less important' or that they feel rejected by people who are 'equal' in terms of attractiveness, is something of a sweeping generalisation in exactly the same way that saying that all Autistic kids and adults are naturally better looking.

     

    TN, bd was joking. If you read the whole paragraph and not just the opening sentence, it is quite obvious (even to a devastatingly gorgeous, but stupid individual, such as myself :ph34r: ) that bd was using irony to make a point.

     

    Flora

     

  14. Posted · Report reply

    Why is it dramatic? I'm sorry, I don't understand. What's dramatic about seizures? They are perfectly normal for the person experiencing them. They are merely neurological incidents.

     

    Would it be easier if I said - 'a genuine meltdown is NOT a child-like tantrum, or rage (as Michael Rutter and other describe them) but a neurological incident involving a genetic difference in brain circuitry? Please don't judge them as intentional, any more than you would judge an epileptic seizure as intentional'. Is that better? :)

     

    Daniel Dennett's Intentional Stance has a lot to answer for! :)

     

    I don't think there's anything intentional about a melt-down. However, to say it isn't a rage is incorrect. I would describe it as a trully uncontrollable rage.

     

    There is always a trigger for a melt-down. For me the trigger is never environmental, I would however say that maybe the liklihood of a melt-down is governed by environmental factors, but the trigger is nearly always something identifiable and specific (in my own experience), although I'm sure there are those who would say otherwise.

     

    Flora

  16. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Clare I was just about to sign on to wish you luck when I saw this thread.

     

    Best of luck for all of you tomorrow :pray:

     

    I've got Bill well primed :)

     

    Hopefully your DS will be pleasantly surprised at how well it goes :pray:

     

    Will be thinking of you all

     

    Flora >:D<<'>

  18. Posted · Report reply

    I would find it annoying, but not as annoying as when they have the wrong name of the child which has happened on about 2 or 3 occasions with Bill. Right information: Wrong name.

     

    I also get mildly irritated when I see aspergers spelled 'Aspbergers'... which seems quite common in America.

     

    Flora

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Hiya,

     

    If you haven't already applied for a statutory assessment, it's very important that you do so immediately, because without a statement you'll pretty much get no where. Yes the statement will take a long time, but it really is the only way to access a more specialised educational environment which it sounds like your son's pyschologist is suggesting he needs.

     

    It is possible (there is a bit in the COP about this and I'll try to find it for you) that allows for emergency provision while a statutory assessment takes place. I think because your son is in year 10 and it's vitally important that no time is wasted that you could argue that he falls in the category of needing urgent attention from the SEN team.

     

    Of course, nothing will happen without a fight, but until you start the process then nothing will happen anyway.

     

    My son came out of school in March 2007; he went through stat assessment, statement then on to tribunal before the right school placement was named on his statement and that took exactly 12 months.

     

    Good luck.

     

    Flora

  20. Posted · Report reply

    For anyone looking for the thread on Irlen/coloured/tinted lenses:

     

    This topic has been removed for consideration by the mod and admin team. The length and quantity of the posts means it will take us some time to edit it, if needs be, before the topic is reinstated.

     

    This is not a judgement on the quality/efficacy of the treatments mentioned, it is merely to do with the fact that advertising of any products or services is not allowed on the forum.

     

    Flora, on behalf of the moderating team.

  21. Posted · Report reply

    I think we've recently discussed this, about sending our kids back to school on the wrong day after a holiday, so you'd think I'd be a bit more clued up! Poor Ben was sent out this morning for the bus and it was only when I went out to do something and looked down the street and saw he was still standing at the bus stop, alone, 20 minutes later :o They don't go back until tomorrow :oops:

     

    Flo' :)

  22. Posted · Report reply

    I'd be very interested to know, also, do you think it is hard/harder being a parent with AS and also parenting a child with AS. Sometimes I find it easier to understand my children and sometimes I feel that my husband just doesn't understand any of us. All replies to these questions would be appreciated. I just want to get a feel for what causes all my problems, whether it is the AS or whether it is just life?

     

    Hi :D

     

    The above paragraph is something I am interested in. I've often find that I have very good empathy with my kids, but particularly with my 14 yo who has AS. Because of this I used to think that would put me outside the criteria for an AS dx and said so to a well known expert when I was in dialogue with him. He told me that he believed that people with AS can make excellent parents because they are very tuned in to the problems young people might be facing; their experiences can make them more understanding and sympathetic towards the problems our youngsters can face, and in particular if our kids are autistic. Another thing I've found is that I have a very strong sense of what is fair, and I recognise the importance of fair play, which is always much appreciated by youngsters who tend to get very upset when they perceive things as 'unfair'. Sorry this is a very small snapshot of what I want to say, but to avoid waffling on I haven't gone into much detail, hope it makes sense though.

     

    Flora :)

     

     

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Just dont burp or pick your nose & I'm sure they'll let you back again! :lol:

     

    I was going to say somthing very similar :lol:

     

    Hope you have fun Tally and to add to what Pearl said, don't spit on the floor or make any bad smells and I'm sure they'll let you come back :lol:

     

    Flo' :D

     

  24. Posted · Report reply

    The dynamics of family life are so complicated and diverse that to try to compare yourself to anyone else is potentially a very damaging thing to do (of course it can have positive consequences too).

     

    I often mull over what things would be like for my family as a whole, and individually, if I'd done this or that differently. Sometimes I mentally beat myself up over it. My mum told me a while back that to do that can be positive if you just learn from it and move on, but to dwell on the past stops you from enjoying what you have now and can make you very unhappy.

     

    Fiorelli, I regularly feel out of step with people, both on here and in the real world. Sometimes I feel pleased about it, other times I feel isolated and 'different in a bad way'.

     

    If you trully feel that the forum is no longer appropriate that's one thing, but if you find that you get over this crisis of confidence and want to come back then please do.

     

    Good luck.

     

    Flora :)

  25. Posted · Report reply

    This sounds very similar to a friend of mine. Her dd was like that and had physiotherapy to spark her brain into using both sides. However, the difference is that she has mild CP. She walked fine eventually but still gets weak on one side when she's tired. Obviously it won't be the same because your dd has already had CP ruled out, however it does sound as if she would benefit from physiotherapy to get her to use the other side. The physio is done by the parent but taught by a therapist and is easy to implement into every day life, it's more like playing really. Hope you can get somewhere with the consultant etc.

     

    Flora >:D<<'>

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