Carrera74

Hi there No it's ****. He's seemed really thorough when I met with him to discuss my concerns but it seems he's just done academic tests with him and not much else. I feel like I've been waiting for him to wave a magic wand to give the school a kick up the behind but unfortunately not. It's like I have to wait for him to hit rock bottom and fail completely before anyone will take any notice.

Well the EP rang on Friday and updated me on his session with my son. He thinks my son is placed in the right school and he told me to send him back to school today or I would get in trouble. The school were waiting for the EP report to put strategies in place to help deal with his behaviour and yet by the sounds of it he doesn't feel there is anything to put in place. I don't know what to do for the best. I think we will have to complain about the teacher. My son told me this morning that the teacher who restrained him did the same to a boy in his class last year and nothing was done. He has also been taught by this teacher since he started at this school so I am disgusted that he doesn't have the correct training when the HT told me and the SENDIST panel that all his staff had up to date TeamTeach training! I am meeting with Parent Partnership today to see what I can do next. I'm also going to ring IPSEA too. I don't feel comfortable sending him back to school until I am 100% sure that should the need to restrain him again, it happens properly. I am still waiting for copies of the behaviour policy and the complaints policy. I wanted to make sure I knew exactly how they would deal with him should the need arise again, which I'm sure it will do

Thank you so much for that information. I'm really stuck as to what to do for the best. I am waiting for the EP report (which was recommended when we lost at Tribunal in March) and I am hoping that will change the statement but I do wonder whether a full revew of his needs would be better as the advices are so old in the original statement. School have called an interim review which is to take place 3 weeks today. They called it due to his behaviour deteriorating so much since his last review in May although they denied that yesterday. They said they have called it to take into account the EP recommendations when they arrive? The school are adamant he is in the right place so I know it's going to be an impossible task getting the school changed but I do wonder whether this latest incident is big enough for the LEA to listen to what I have to say but I have a feeling they'll just worm their way out of it as they usually do. I'll have a read of the links you sent when I get home from work but again, thank you for taking the time to post.

School have admitted that the teacher who took my son out used the wrong restraint and they are investigating. They said they had their reservations previously about the way he uses restraint. It puzzles me though why it has taken me to go in before they do something! It felt like they are going to use this incident as a way to get rid of the teacher. The HT teacher said they will put my son in 1:1 Maths when he goes back and the teacher in question will not be able to restraint any child until he has done some training! I still feel uneasy sending him back as I feel they are just using the teacher as an excuse for my son's behaviour. They still feel that the school is the right one for him and they don't think his ASD is a problem. The HT said my son chooses when to misbehave and he is more able than I think and in another breath said they are still getting to know him. The short stay school he attended knew him well within weeks yet he has been there since September last year and they still don't know his triggers or can tell when he's getting anxious.

Yes we have a link worker and we see her regular. She is aware of the problems with the school. She agrees that the problems we are having is because they are unable to read my son and she is going to do some more sessions with him to help him at school. I wish school would take the recommendations on board too. It's so frustrating

Try as I might to explain to school that he needs clear timetables and to be told how long he has left at break etc it does not happen. On Wednesday the teacher came in the room they were having break and said 'turn the computers off'. No warnings just one request. All the kids were messing around so the teacher turned them off. To another child this might have just made them realise that break was over but for my son it stressed him out. Like I said before, I'm not sure if this is normal for ASD children but it really affects my son. You'd think in a special school with just 6 kids in a class that they would be able to put something in place to help my son with this. They just deal with the behaviour once he has a meltdown. I have kept him off school as I am unhappy about the way they deal with just the outbursts, not the reason behind it. I know that children have to be taken out of class if they are a danger to themselves or others. I don't think the way they removed him is the right way but I have requested a copy of the behavioural policy. We asked for this 12 months ago but were told that they don't need to use restraint as they don't have that sort of behaviour at their school. My DS has learnt the behaviour he shows in class. When he first went he wouldn't have done half the things he does now. Slowly but surely the things he has seen in class he has done himself. I warned them that if the other children didn't get punished for the inappropriate behaviour that my son would think this is the norm and do it himself. Which has happened. They have started to discpline the kids and if it was consistant then great but it isn't and that isn't helping either. He is sat doing schoolwork so I don't see how I have given him a reward. He probably does less work at school than when he is at home. I guess I know my son is at a school which isn't ASD friendly although they say they are. I do keep on at them in the hope that they will take my son's needs seriously but it's days like the other day which show they don't. When my son first started at this school the HT said they couldn't meet his needs as he's on the spectrum. I spoke to the LEA about this and 2 days after he told me this he said they changed their minds and said they could meet his behavioural needs. There's more to ASD than bad behaviour though isn't there! Thanks everyone for your comments. It does help to see other people's points of view.

My son is getting better as he gets older. We seem to have less outbursts at home because we tell him what we're doing, what time etc etc. It really helps. Just wish school would take us seriously and put these things in place there as well.

No they don't use anything I suggest.

Hi there Don't mind you pointing it out at all. I've just re-read it and I can see what you mean. From day one there was no structure at school or routine. On our first visit at school there were 2 kids walking round the school in the rain telling me how s**t the school was. It's full of streetwise kids who rule the school. A TA who used to work there said it's like a zoo! It was only in May this year that they started to put some sort of discipline in place but it's hit or miss. One lesson they get a red card for breaking a rule, the next day they don't. My DS is very strict with rules and boundaries. If they are not clear he get anxious and eventually really loses it. I do think they were right to take him out of the lesson as he had lost control. My concerns are they are not nipping things in the bud. Kids are only disciplined once they have exploded. They don't seem to catch him when he is starting to show his anxieties. DS needs a consistant approach but he does not get this at school. I understand what you mean about the mixed messages but I am really worried that after 12 months they still can't read him and just deal with the tantrums. School don't take on what we say about how to deal with him with time management - I have asked them to be specific with the times etc but they don't. They just told him to turn it off with no warning so because he wasn't prewarned he said no andn then they turned it off. I don't know if all ASD kids have trouble with this sort of thing but it's a big thing for us which is why we pointed it out to School. The fact they don't listen to us is what frustrates me and makes things worse for him.

This is why we went for the BESD school as a few children there are ASD but not diagnosed. My son is higher functioning so again thought this school would be best. Unfortunatley for my son none of the teachers are really that clued up about ASD!

My son attends a BESD special high school. I feel we were rushed into making a decision about a school placement as we only received his diagnosis late in the school year and the LEA said we could choose from 2 schools - the BESD one or a school for MLD. We're having a lot of problems and I wonder whether a ASD specific school would be more suited as they really do not get him or ASD We are in the process of getting his statement reviewed as he has had recent input from the EP so I'm hoping we can get him out of the hell hole he is in.... I can dream

My 12 DS attends a BESD special school. We have been having problems with them for some time. We appealed against this school as there is no routine, no structure and no discipline in lessons. Behaviour is only dealt with when the pupils have lost it. Rules are constantly broken and it was clear from our first visit round that it wasn’t the right school for him but we lost our appeal and he has had to stay there. We have to make best of the situation but I don’t know how much more he or I can take. We had our annual review in May and DS had become more unsettled and was disrupting a lot of lessons and refusing to take part. I may as well have been talking to myself as they didn’t’ take on board anything I said. At the end of the Summer term he was becoming more and more disruptive in lessons and try as I might to explain to school that this behaviour is because his needs are not being met, it falls on deaf ears. They just see my DS's negative behaviour and think he is playing up on purpose. It was his second day back yesterday and he flipped as he was allowed to go on the computer at break time and he refused to come off it so they unplugged it and all hell broke loose. We have advised school that he needs to be told what time to go on, how long he has got and to be given a 5 minute warning when he is due to finish so he knows where he is at. They just switched it off at the wall. I know these are small things but it only takes a small thing like this to set him off. I’m at my wits end. I don’t know what to do. He is in a special school with 6 children to the class maximum and yet they can still not read my son – he has been there now 12 months. Can anyone advise what I can do about this? I have kept him off school today as he is so upset at what happened. He is always remorseful afterwards but it really gets to him. Once he snaps he can’t get out of it until he has peaked and then come out of it. I’m really concerned that his behaviour is getting worse – he is copying the behaviour he has learnt these last 12 months at the school – kids get away with all sorts! My main concern is educationally he’s falling behind and I’m worried that how he was taken to the peace area yesterday isn’t acceptable. I know school have rights and he was being disruptive so they had the right to take him to the peace area but I don’t think holding his arm out and bending his wrist back is the right way for a 12 year old boy – it’s the same way that prisoners are restrained! He’s the same now as he was at mainstream primary school. We have no autistic schools in the area. I just want them to try to understand him instead of just dealing with his outbursts. I feel like banging my head against the wall

Just a rant and any advice most welcome My 11 year old son attends a BESD school which we appealed against but lost. At the appeal the HT commented that my son no longer presents in the way described in the Annual Review Report that was written a year ago when he was at a short stay school (we disagree) and the panel ordered that part 2 of the statement should be left for the next review which they expected would have input from the educational psychologist as well as those that work with my son from day to day. His review took place a month ago but unfortunately nobody from the EdPSch department was able to attend. I have been chasing the summary report from school and they told me it was the SEN team that were causing the delay so I chased it with them also. After reading my COP I see that school are supposed to send this within 10 days to the Education office and also to me. Something the school disagree with!! Anyway, I have finally received this and I’m so mad. The summary only details the information that was on the school advice form which describes a very settled, happy boy. There is no note of any of my concerns, and there were quite a few and no mention of the decline in his behaviour since Easter. I have contacted school this morning and spoke to the HT who told me that the statement will not be changed by comments I make at the review and that I should put my concerns into writing and he will do a statement review. I am so frustrated. What was the point in taking a days leave to go and attend a statement review meeting when nothing was done and now the Head wants me to put it all in writing. The Edpsch will not see him until the Autumn term as they are too busy (the HT’s comments) and in the meantime my son is deteriorating more and more. The school don’t think he is as bad as I do. I guess the behaviour they see from my son is the ‘norm’ for that type of school but my son has deteriorated so much since this time last year. It’s heartbreaking. He is going backwards not forwards. I have requested an urgent meeting with the SEN team and have told the HT that I am not happy and will certainly put it in writing with a copy to them. My son had a meltdown last week and was called ‘spoilt’ by a TA who then tried to push him out of class. She told him he had assaulted her because he put his foot on the door to stop her pushing him out. I rang school and asked about this and the HT said he would look into it but never got back to me. I mentioned it to him this morning and asked what the outcome was and he wouldn’t tell me as it’s between him and his member of staff. I asked if an incident report had been filled which he said there had so I said I wanted to know exactly what had happened. He backtracked a little and said he would write to me. I won’t hold my breath. Now where’s that brick wall to bang my head against!!

My thoughts exactly! I have spoken to a senior SEN person at LEA today and she advised in more detail about the moderating panel that sat last Friday. She advised that they upheld their school because of a comment that the HT at Short Stay made that she felt this school would suit my DS because of the nurturing environment they will have in place (this is a new thing they are going to be trying from September). The Head of this new department is the young teacher I saw flit from class to class and not respond appropriately to bad behaviour that we witnessed whilst visiting. I contacted the HT at Short Stay after my first visit as I was so shocked at what I saw (the HT at Short Stay had sung it's praises and thought it was a good school to send him too). She did say when I told her what I had saw that she had panicked when the LEA had said they were going to set up visits to special schools as the ones they first mentioned were for children with moderate to severe learning disabilities and physical disabilities. My DS is very bright boy and she said she panicked and felt the named school would be more suited to him. It seems her trying to help may have caused more damage The LEA today said that if I go to appeal it would stand me in good stead sending my DS to the named school as it would give me more evidence but I don't think I can risk putting him through this just to prove more points that it isn't good enough. DS has just asked me if I had heard anything back from the Education people and I have told him the outcome of the meeting and he looks so sad. He said so I can't go to the nice school then. Why is everything such a battle I am now waiting for the LEA to arrange a meeting between us and then when the Head answers with the 'right answers' I'll certainly be asking why did he act the way he did at our first meeting, why he made the comments to my DS at the second meeting and why all of a sudden (after 6 weeks) did he find the 'correct' answers. Grrr! I AM SO FED UP! (sory for ranting!)

Well the panel that sat on Friday have agreed that my DS should go to the school that isn't suitable! I have rang the LEA today to find out the outcome and spoke again in length as to why the school is not suitable. They are going to risk assess the transport as I am not happy that he should travel that distance with no escort. Also I said they can get the ball rolling but I am adamant that he will not go to their named school until I am 100% sure that they can meet his needs and understand them too. The LEA officer has said they'll set up a meeting asap between me and the school so the Headteacher can answer my queries. I am so angry. He didn't answer my questions the three times I have asked them (all separate occasions) so I don't know how he'll be able to answer them now! I am concerned that he will now have answers to the questions as the LEA will want him to but how can I trust them to follow these strategies through when he didn't have any for bad behaved kids 6 weeks ago when I first questioned him about how they would deal with bad behaviour. I am going to send the letter I sent to the panel to my MP. How the heck do the LEA think they can name a school I do not see as fit for purpose and especially so when I have shouted loud that I don't want it naming. Sorry for the waffle. It's just so frustrating that I have rung today to find out what's happening and it takes me to ring to kick them up the behind into moving to the next stage! Rant over, for now!

Hi again everyone. Hope you're all enjoying the summer hols! Well I finally received the final statement on Monday (had to chase it again!). It lists the school I do not want so with the help of my parent partnership chap I have written to the LEA today stating my reasoning for not wanting their named school and why I want mine. The letter should go to the moderating panel next week for a request for funding. We also have a date for the disagreement panel which is mid September. I've sent off the tribunal papers too. I'm really annoyed at the LEA for taking so long to send the final statement out as it's put a hold on everything but back on track now, hopefully! We are on holiday next week so going to chill out and prepare ourselves for who knows what will happen the week after. I'm adamant I don't want my DS to go to their named school but not sure what to do with him whilst waiting for the tribunal. It could be December before it is heard and I don't know what to do in the meantime. I don't want to send him there but I am worried that if he does end up going there after the hearing that I have made it worse for him as he'll be the new boy. It's never simple is it!

My son always used to play up at the dentist and he's had a few meltdowns there too. I found taking him and letting him see me in the chair and looking in my mouth helped. He doesn't like trying new things but once he has seen someone else experience it, he processes it and then usually will have a go next time. My OH took my son for his check up when he went for his (DS had been about 5 times previously and not got in the chair!). He got in the chair fine and now keeps asking when he can go back! He did tell me that he doesn't like the feel of the plastic gloves near his mouth which would explain why he didn't want to get in the chair. Seeing my OH have his teeth checked made him feel at ease My nervousness must've rubbed off on him!! Hope you got on okay!

Thanks for your replies. I have been trying to contact the HT at their preferred special school to go through my questions again so i have clear answers but there is no reply. School is now closed and I don't know what to do. I want to know how the HT thinks the school can meet his social and communication needs as if these aren't dealt with right then the bad behaviour comes through. I don't understand how he can be so adamant that they have no resources for ASD children then a week later change his mind. I have half given up already as I know they don't want to fund him and I'm not sure I have the fight in me. But then on the other hand I don't want to let my son down but it's hard to fight a losing battle.

Over the last couple of weeks I have visited both schools with my DS at the Parent Partnerships advice in case we go to tribunal.... My Named Officer at the LEA has just been on the phone to tell me that the school I don't want him to attend have agreed they can meet his needs ?!!! The head told me the other day that they can meet his behavioural needs but I doubt that as I asked him 3 times when we met how they dealt with badly behaved kids and his reply was 'we don't have kids like that here' - it's a BESD school! She also said that the independent school (that is perfect for him and who told me they have looked through his paperwork and the head there said he was confident they could meet his needs) is not able to be funded by them until a visit is arranged by the LEA's 2 senior officers who will check if it is an appropriate school to send children in the area to. Why they hell did they let me go round and then advise me to take my DS round too. I feel so angry. I wouldn't have even looked there if I knew this? I feel like a carrot has been dangled and I am so upset and angry. I had to get off the phone as I was blubbering like a baby. I told the officer that I cannot send my DS to a school where I know he would fail so she said that perhaps him going back to mainstream would be an option - he can't cope in mainstream which was the whole point of having his statement changed to state special school. I told the Officer that my DS has been through so much and I want to get his placement right first time but she then went on again to say there is no funding, they can apply for funding at the next panel, then he'll go on a waiting list and then he can't be placed at the independant school anyway cause it's not one that's on their list?! ARGGGGHHH!!!!! I just needed to get this off my chest as DS is at home and I don't want to talk to my partner until he's snoring! (DS that is!).

Thanks to those that have responded too. It really does help to hear other people's stories.

The list of schools the LEA first came up with for us to visit for our son was for special schools that had physically and/or severe learning disability children attending. He is high functioning and quite bright so none of these were any good. The HT at the short stay then mentioned this BESD school that we went to view first (the one we didn't like) as she said she did panic at the thought of him going to an unsuitable school. I guess I will have to contact the LEA on Monday and say which school I would like to be put on his statement and go from there. I think it's going to be a tough ride and I just hope that the system doesn't let him down. He's been through enough

Thanks for your reply. The independent school is less than a mile from home so not sure whether we would need transport too as he's quite a young 11 and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable letting him walk home (I work full time). I'd be happy to pay for the taxi myself though. The HT of the school really didn't seem that keen so maybe ringing him would be a good idea especially as I got the feeling he didn't seem keen to have another child added to his growing list for September. I'll google IPSEA too, many thanks.

Hi All My 11 yr old DS was diagnosed with ASD back in March just at the same time as he was permanently excluded from mainstream. He had been to a short stay school last year and was integrated back to mainstream in October but the anxiety and bad behaviour came back as he was struggling. He has been back at short stay since his permanent exclusion and the LEA have agreed to change his statement to name a special school and also changed his statement from BESD to ASD. This has only happened in the last week or so and we have been to see 2 special schools. One a BESD school which is a community school and another one more local to us which is independant. When my OH and me went to see the Community School I was so dissapointed with what we saw. The Headteacher seemed very disinterested in us. He didn't even know my DS's name. I had a list of questions to ask him and when I asked about if there are other children at the school with ASD he said he thought perhaps 1 or 2. When I asked if there were any teachers with experience and expertise of working with ASD children his answer was no and then he went off on one saying that he would need to apply for funding for an ASD child and he definately wouldn't get any money until April!!! He really didn't seem that interested in taking in another child especially not a ASD one. He also commented that a school for BESD/ASD children should be built nearer to where we live for children in our area and leave that school for children who live in the vicinity. Anyway we then had the visit round the school and it was awful. A real dark and dingy depressing building and from what I saw in the 10/15 mins we went round there was not much structure in the secondary unit. Not much respect for the teachers and not the nuturing environment my DS thrives in. I could see my DS lasting a week or two there and then going back to how he was at mainstream. He needs a nurturing highly structured environment and from what I saw that school isn't the right one for him. Our lovely parent partnership chap made another appointment for us yesterday to view a new local independant school. I have had a fair few meetings with the short stay, Camhs etc and was warned that I wouldn't find a perfect school but I'd have to find a school that the good points outway the bad. Well yesterday I couldn't believe what I was seeing or hearing from the Head as the local school seems perfect. At least a 1000x better than the other school we went to see. We have got another appointment next week to let my DS have a look round too. Now my worry. I know that the LEA aren't going to say, oh yes it's a lovely school please let us pay.... (if only!). So I am trying to prepare myself for what will happen next. I am going to ring the LEA on Monday and say under no circumstances do I want that first school naming on my son's amended proposed statement (not sure i can say that?) but what chance to I have of getting them to fund this fab school? The only positive thing I came away from the community school with was that the classes are small (6-8 to a class) but that was literally it. Has anyone got any experience of getting funding that they would be happy to share with me? My son and the family have been through hell over these last 3 years or so and I just want to get my DS's secondary placement right first time for his sake and the sanity of everyone else at home! He is a lovely little boy and so settled at the moment. His confidence is growing because of the environment he is in. I would hate for all the hard work to be undone because he is put in a school which seemed not fit for purpose