Hi, I've recently discovered Asperger's Syndrome, and I'm pretty sure I have it - it would explain so much, like me never being able to look people in the eye, making awkward conversation (If any), panicing about being going somewhere on my own and many other things. I mean, just now, my friend has told me how upset she is over personal issues and I didn't care - which really bothers me. I had no idea how to react, or what to say (even though it was only over the internet) and I broke down crying and shaking.
I'm pretty sure I have this condition ... but I'm finding it nearly impossible to tell anyone. I've never been able to display my emotions openly and I rarely tell anyone if something's bothering me, even my parents, or my sister whom I'm closer to than anyone else. I've been racking my brain trying to think of a way to tell them but I just can't finf someway of telling anyone.
I'm scarred that anyone I tell will just dismiss me as being a drama queen. My family aren't even aware aspergers exists, if I mention it's a form of autism (High functioning or not) they'll disregard what I'm saying because of what they know about that. I don't think anyone is completely aware just how awkward and difficult social situations are for me - it's only the last year or so I've been able to get on the bus without panicking about buying the ticket (And I still worry that someone might sit next to me if I'm on my own). I still can't order food from a restaurant without becoming tongue tied, or mumbling my order. Also, I've always done well in my studies and am a fairly intelligent person, which isn't something my parents would asscociate with autism (Simply because they are not aware), so as far as most people are concerned, there's nothing wrong.
I'm 20 years old and my mum and dad are getting on at me to be more independant - why don't I go to the shop myself? Make myself an appointment at the opticians? etc. Which is understandable on their part. But it's really, really hard for me. I'm becoming increasingly distressed, and fear I am probably becoming depressed, as all I've wanted to do lately is cry (And have on many occasions - when no one is around).
So, please, if anyone could offer any advice, you would help me emensly. I'd go to the doctor's for a diagnosis (so I could be 100% sure before I confronted my family and friends) but, honestly, I just wouldn't be able to explain my symptons to him (Plus he's incomptitant and rude).
I just want to be able to somehow explain to someone
(Sorry this post is so long D: )
