NobbyNobbs
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Posts posted by NobbyNobbs
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i am currently on jobseekers allowance while trying to find a job. ive applied for 28 jobs in 3 months, none have been successful. i have seen a disability adviser twice, she suggests i do volunteer work and stay on benefit becuase then i can find something to suit my needs easier. i'm still fighting the good fight with the DLA, live with my parents and am contributing nothing towards my living expenses except paying the occasional bill (my own, my parents have taken on those as well).
anyone else have problems like this? i dont want to sit on benefit for the rest of my life i want to work, but noone is giving me a chance! i called the jobseekers claim number to ask them if i was entitled to anything to help my parents while i'm searching, they said i should get a doctors note saying i can't work and go onto incapacity benefit and income support! anyone got any ideas on how to find a job when i can't answer telephones, be appropriately nice to customers or be in loud environments? ive applied to all these companies with the disability tick thing which are meant to give me an interview if i meet the minimum standards, some i met the standards when i was 16 but i still got refused an interview, so if even thats not working i dont know what else to do
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o phoned the number on the letter to get the ball rolling and managed to get a helpful person! she seemed very surprised i'd been refused, and when i explained about the GP thing and that the doctor had refused to let me see the report or comment on it she said she'd get a copy in the post right away. she's sending me an appeal form as well, will this be the same as last time? do i need to specifically ask for the tribunal and what does that entail?
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i asked for my DLA application to be re-assessed after it was returned as a no using an out of date report and a letter from a GP who wasn't my GP, and didn't have my medical notes. i sent in further information including educational psychologist reports, psychiatrist reports and a DSA assessment (just incase it helped) as well as a detailed program of my daily support and what happens when i dont get this.
today i got a letter saying they've turned me down again, using the same GPs letter! most of the other reasons they said no in the first place have disappeared but some are still there saying i dont need help in particular aspects when i clearly do. how do i get them to stop looking at the GPs letter. i said i would see one of their own doctors - they didn't offer me the opportunity. i dont have a GP who has my notes because i transferred doctors recently, or any knowledge of the problems AS gives me in everyday life. they keep coming back saying things that if theyd actually look at what i'd put would be apparent
they said i dont need help because of anxiety and panic attacks - i have agorophobia and am on anti-depressants for anxiety and self- harm
they say i'm not at risk of self neglect - when i was left alone at university i didn't eat, sleep or drink for 3 days until my parents phoned and told me to! this is a regular occurrence, my parents had to phone everyday to ensure i had done basic things to stay alive.i have to be reminded to eat, and my parents have to check that i have actually eaten or i just forget. i dont feel hunger or thirst so i dont have that trigger.
they also say i'm not at risk during dangerous activities at night - what are dangerous night activities?! i'm not likely to go abseiling, but i do sleep walk, sleep with knives and cables in my bed - sensory issues there, i like the feel of them aginst skin, and fall out of bed, as well as having serious asthma attacks in the night.
it seems theyre desperately trying to say no to me, when i've ticked every box they've given and with good reason too! if i phone them they say they dont have the information to hand, and i should write a letter... but i did that and they ignored it! do i write again, and they'll ignore it again? this has now been going on since may and its getting silly!
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i wouldn't eat at school when i was younger, it was the fear that what i was eating was wrong and the way i was eating it was wrong too as well as the sensory issues of smells, tastes, textures. i still rarely eat in front of anyone but my family, and often not even them. in the end i managed to find enough foods i was willing to eat that were acceptable to my friends as normal( i was on school dinners, but certain foods that were served were not acceptable to be eaten. moving him onto his own space hopefully will help, but if not try finding out what the other kids have in their lunch, and what he might be willing to try out of that. otherwise it could be something as simple as having the wrong lunchbox, seat, or anything else that plagues autistic people. otherwise, check his access to bathrooms, who hes sitting with and so on as they will be increasing stress. if its the change thats a problem, even asking if he can go eat in his old classroom (if hes at teh same school)might help as this will be more familiar and safe
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if anyone is still having trouble finding school shoes, a certain hight street store whose name starts with N and ends in xt has boys velcro shoes and trainers at reasonable prices and about 6 different styles up to a mens size 13!!
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as far as i know self-harm is more common in girls than boys, the most common age is the 13-15 age band and anyone with any mental health issue is far more likely to suffer - AS brings on anxiety and depression often and these are bad triggers.
medication is usually the first GP response, as this reduces compulsions and anxiety and raises the mood. she should also be referred for some sort of talking therapy but the waiting lists are long so they use the meds to fill the gap. i found with AS it is harder to understand the severity of actions and this can be potentially dangerous, so safety is a good thing to promote if she wont talk about why she does it - plenty of plasters and antiseptic should be availiable, as well as a good base of knowledge of appopriate treatments - when stitches are needed and so on. this knowledge often creates a 'boundary' where since it would be horrible to have to go to hospital the line to stitches isn't crossed. after that, time and understanding are good.
my favorite stress release activities to stop self-harming (i didn't want to do it but *had* to) were counting rice, beads and anything else that there were lots of, or ripping up fabric - paper didn't do it cos it took no effort.
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i got my bus pass in the post today
in the end i handed over my educational psychologist report and they said that was fine. a return to the town here is �4.80 so its going to save me a fortune!
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And don't even get me started on the school tie!K x
thats an easy one! tie the tie, stitch it, cut off the very back of the tie loop (the bit that goes round the head) and put in some elastic so he can pull it over his head. easy, safe and not embarassing, just convienient
as for laces, lace them fairly tightly with elastic, knot it up so it wont come undone and there you have it.. instant slip on shoes.
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when i was 7 or 8ish, i was playing in the park with another girl from my street (the part was directly opposite my house) she punched a boy, he was about 12 and had been teasing her. i got scared and ran home. he must've seen me go into my house because a couple of hours later the police appeared to investigate my involvement in the incident - the boys father had complained that both me and the other girl had hit the boy. the police talked to me, gave me a warning that if i saw anything like that happen again i should do what i had done that time and tell my parents and they went off to speak to the girl who had actually hit the boy.
obviously a broken leg is more serious, but the police really do have better things to do than stress about accidents at play parks. these things happen, and not just to kids with ASDs. when i was 8 i broke my sisters arm by chasing her down a high slide at the same park... but there were 3 other children playing the game and it could just as easily have been one of them who did it.
keep calm, remember you're not at fault, but make sure you dont get personal against the other mother... that will work against you because then you will seem irrational. if you can stay calm and be sympathetic to the injury of the child, but obviously maintain that it was just an unfortunate accident then you'll come off better than her.
and since i dont know when SS visited/are visitng i'll say this again... SS do not just take children. this is not legally possible! for an emergency snatch they have to have serious concerns that the childs life would be in danger before they could get a court order, if not, they have to get it approved by the court so this isn't going to be an issue. they have to investigate any claims, and if the other mother said anything like 'running riot unsupervised, mother had no control, the child is obviously malnourished, dirty etc. then they have to check up to make sure theres not anything serious going on. they will also be contacted by the police, but again, its not anything to worry about. of course this all depends on any previous SS involvement etc, but in general, those are the ideas anyway
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i know of several sites that specialise in computers for academic use and since i also need dragon and lots of the other academic support programs i can tell you the ones recommended for me 3 weeks ago in my DSA needs assessment! pm me if you're still looking
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we're allowed to let them out of the run on tuesdayapparently they needed 5 days to get used to where they were meant to live, but they're already under my thrall... with the help of raisins! they seem to love them so much i couldn't get them to stay in their roost long enough to shut the door this evening, they kept coming out again to see if i had any more treats. i think they'd never been outside before because one of them was completely horrified at the rain today and tried to get from one end of the run to the other in one jump!
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does anyone else keep chickens? my parents got two last friday, and ive become completely obsessed with them. when i'm not out there with them i'm looking information up on the internet about them... i know this is another wonderful AS thing, but i'm eager to learn all i can as fast as i can so that i can stop being quite so obsessed. (i employ this tactic now because i obsess to the point where i dont want to do a certain thing, but have to because its the only thing i can think of to do... i'll watch a film solid for 4 days round the clock just because i cant work out anything else to do!)
so if anyone has any knowledge, dump it here
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INTJ
Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging
100 12 62 44
are you confusing AS and HFA with more classic autism? both AS and HFA typically have a high IQ, although the 'real' IQ can be a lot lower because the tests don't suit the difficulties caused by the ASD. i got 124 on my verbal IQ, 111 on my performance IQ and at some points dropped to the high 40's on individual test segments depending on the test materials.
i was told that if i had not had AS my IQ would have been 124 straight across, and that it is the imbalances in the sections of the IQ tests that are significant with ASDs rather than the overall IQ score. i scored very low on one section because my brain doesn't recognised red diagonal lines, so i couldn't understand the patterns to re-arrange them
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for the bonjela phobic (me included) i'd recommend bonjelas teething one. it is vaguely banana-y but mostly tastes of nothing and is milder so it doesn't sting so much. i can't stand the regular kind and hate mint so the cool one is no good either.
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i have AS and at 22 i still can't tidy my room (or any other room). the best way i've worked out is to get someone to talk me through it step by step. i start by picking up all clothes and putting them away or in the wash. then i pick up all books and put them away. then clear up rubbish. then i usually get lost because theres lots of little bits that dont fall into any of the above categories. my mom does that bit because i just sit in the middle of it really confused. at least following something like this would give your daughter some control over her room, but means you would be able to get it as clean as you wanted.
when i was younger my mom would put everything in bin bags and say i had a day to sort it and put it away or it was going in the bin. this was also strangely helpful because it was removed from my room i could then work through the bag bit by bit and put things where they were meant to be.
i wont use a hoover. i hate the noise and have to go to the other end of the house when someone else does it and i wont touch anything dusty because it feels funny on my skin. perhaps finding out any sensory objections your daughter has to cleaning would help too.
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The thing for me is that my dx is only provisional for AS and should be assessed sometime in October. Everyone is pretty much agreed though, I need to sit down with my disability adviser and see what we can work out. We only had a meeting between us and the course leader towards the end of the year when I broke down, I never know that I need help until it is too late.
my diagnosis is the same. i suppose my advantage is that the university paid for my assessments in the first place. they just assumed it was a full diagnosis as soon as they had enough of a case for the department.
personally i'd ask if i could have my meetings without the department being present. if its anything like my department their first instict is to say no to everything. the disability officer should be able to communicate with them for you and argue your corner.
to get the DSA you only need to have an educational psychologist report stating you have specific learning difficulties - you dont need a diagnosis for this, as they dont need proof - the only proof of dyslexia is the tests they do after all. the uni should pay for this - ask for it under dyslexia funding if they question it. they'll then do some really horrible tests that make you feel like the dumbest person in the world even if you get them all right, but then at the end of it you get lots of stuff that balances out the problems AS gives you with studying - i'm getting a laptop, essay planning software, voice recognition software, 1-1 tutoring, rewritten course materials, note taker, notes for previous classes...
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i was in a similar situation to you. pre-diagnosis i failed or passed modules depending on completely daft things. i passed one, failed the rest of the first half of the 07/08 year. i was diagnosed 3 weeks before final exams at the end of my final year. my disability office have been fantastic. they've negotiated with my department to allow me to redo my coursework with the extra support i'm now entitled to through the DSA, plus lots of other adaptations like rewriting course materials to remove metaphor. i dont have to go to classes at all, so can work from home - very handy since i live in west sussex and uni is in swansea! - i get to redo my exams as first-sits with no penalties with extra support and reworded questions etc.
speak to your disability office, explain the situation, and what you want. i would never have dreamed i'd be allowed to do what they set up, but for genuine problems, turns out they can be very accomodating.
i repeated my second year as i went home halfway through. i know you're in a similar situation to me with a new diagnosis and all, so that might not be a bad idea. have you had a DSA assessment to see what you need/are entitiled to? it can make a massive difference.
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citalopram have terrible withdrawl symptoms... and they dont go away! i stopped mine gradually and 3 months later was still getting devastating withdrawl symptoms. my nervous system became so stressed that i was in a constant panic attack state, would have constant full body muscle spasms and was so dizzy i would fall over. eventually the doctors put me back on the tablets, to try and take me off them again, hoping this time it'll work. if it doesnt i dont know what i'll do, because i'm like a zombie when i'm on them so dont want to take them as i dont need them
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on the cutting down the chips front, have you tried other potato options? i also hate boiled potatoes because of the texture, but will eat them sauteed with onion, mashed, in wedges etc.
for exercise i vote for a trampoline. i have big problems with my ankles and knees as a result of a bad injury, and am also flat footed (i have inserts). i can bounce on the trampoline because it is low impact, so it doesn't hurt like most other exercise
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fried eggs are for going in the bin
theyre all slimy and smelly and eurgh -
car bingo!! we passed a 3 hour car journey on one well thought out board of looking for things such as a kids scooter, helicopter, plane, kite, pushchair, cow etc. the trick is in picking things relevant to your route. ours was along motorways until the last 30 minutes so there was no way they could complete the boards until we were close to the destination. for the less able, we would announce what we were going to pass, and then if they realised it was on their board before it was out of sight they got it. that way both a very clever, and a 'slow' child could play without getting frustrated. we used pictures for ours, so they could be colour specific as well, but you could use words with older children.
we coat the back seat of the car in disposable bed mats so that we dont have to worry about a car smelling bad in the event of an accident, and give the kids personalised sick bags filled with bags, tissues, wet wipes etc, as well as an activity bag (dont use similar looking bags unless you want to wipe second-hand breakfast off crayons!)
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yesterday my mother made the comment 'oh she's just having a silent day' to my aunt when i couldn't say anything to her. she acted like this was a perfectly normal thing (which it is for me). is this common with AS? does anyone else have someone who just stops talking?
i have days, weeks and once a month(!) when i simply go completely non-verbal and cannot speak to anyone. i follow the conversation directed at me but just never seem to get any words out. in the end i get told off for being rude and annoying and sent out of the way until i can speak again.
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oooh, i was all about the Babysitters Club books at 8... then i moved onto Buffy the vampire slayer, and now i'm on anything Terry Pratchett. i was so obsessed that i can still remember the stoyline to every babysitters club book from the title or cover. and i have all buffy eps on video and dvd... plus all the books, duvet cover etc...
obsessions are one of my favorite bits about having AS. i can focus so much on something i enjoy it all the more. i wasn't allowed to watch tv as a young child, except watch with mother, and then until i was 11 i wasn't allowed to watch anything animated, so i missed the kids tv obsessions.
AS grandchild moving to UK from USA
in Education
Posted · Report reply
depending on what sort of school you go for you should be able to get her into a school for the january-april term at the very latest. most 'normal' schools will accept children at any time under the circumstances you've stated.
if she's 13 i doubt she would be put in with 10-11 year olds in a mainstream school as the age in which children more from primary to secondary school is 11. they *might* put her into year 7 (ages 11-12) to give her a chance to catch up a bit.
communitry schools are just regular schools, but with different levels of specialism in certain things. ive heard of technology colleges, communitry schools and acadamies.
SOME comprehensive (public) schools are very good. these are more often religious or specialist schools, such as technology schools. it really is a case of picking what suits the child best. religious schools also generally are better for discipline and a positive school community as these things are stressed more, but obviously if you dont want a religious background to her education there are still a lot of good non-religious schools out there.
as aro suggested look on the county council website, they'll have a list of schools. you can also check the school inspections and ratings on various websites to get a better idea of how well a school is achieving. OFSTED do the detailed school inspections and publish a report for each school.
as far as i am aware the british and american school systems are not that different as far as special educational needs go (or in education standards, in fact the US schools seem to be better than the british at the moment). british schools offer a system of teaching support, individual education plans and so on, you just need to get in contact with a school and ask if they will be able to offer the support you feel your granddaughter needs, as well as being able to support you through the process of applying for this support (the schools need extra funding to offer it). my knowledge of private schools is limited, but they tend to not be overly helpful if you need to stray from the 'standard' education offered there.
it might be worth using your advantage in that she has not been in the british education system to really push for a good comprehensive school. i moved areas part-way through my education and managed to get straight into a very good school because of this.
if you are looking for a specialist ASD school (Which it doesn't sound like you would get to be honest if she is generally doing okay, and just needs extra support) then i can't advise you, but there certainly are people on here who can.
if you have any more questions let me know and i'll try to help ( i did part of my university course in the US so i might know a little more than others about that side of things, and have worked as a teaching assistand in welsh schools so know that side too)